ylime

why tf does the fedex man have shorts on? ain’t got no damn sense

Yall truthfully aren’t ready for the chaos that my wrapped is going to be

#applemusicreplay

can confirm

people driving by probably think our cat is neglected but he wants to go outside 😩

my nails look like garbage. my nail tech is the worstttttt 😑

it’s me, i’m the nail tech

imma snap on this man today stg

Two white cats are in a kitchen near the sink. One cat has fallen into the sink and accidentally turned on the faucet, causing water to gush onto its belly. The soaked cat's expression is one of betrayal and anguish, while the other cat watches the scene unfold.

long live the king

embarrassing 🤦🏻‍♀️

idk how i’m gonna survive another thanksgiving meal bc im ready to die 😵

i settled for a bagel 😩

all i really want rn is a donut… or several donuts tbh

ASSLOR

I KNEW SHED MAKE IT IN THE BOOK

nothing like a bird exploding on a power line on this fine morning 😬

shouldnt have bought all those damn groceries what if i need concert tickets

my feet are killinggg me

Coworker: Correct me if I’m wrong…

Me: *takes a deep breath*

My hips. My back. When I move, they crack.

“Shit, I dunno. You wanna get a beer?”

-me, giving advice

KITCHENWARE COMPANY BOSS: So, did you come up with a name for that revolving food tray, Susan?
SUSAN: No, couldn't be arsed.

just a lil bit. but our grocery manager is the best & totally doing his job 🙄🙄

i’m so tired of the fucking attitude

nice lil gem i found on the shelf today at work 💀

a dozen bands/artists to get to know me:

koe wetzel
tyler farr
taylor swift
green day
demi lovato
cody johnson
zach bryan
treaty oak revival
eric church
giovanni & the hired guns
my chemical romance
simple plan

i liked it! 😅