Rowan, A Badger

Small joy in my life: this year all my tomatoes are producing, instead of just the sweet 100s. Slicing, paste, and snacking. I also got a ripe bell pepper AND an handful of shishito.

What are your small joys these days?

I am also like "man it would be terrible to have a mom like his but...if an Imperial tool doesn't deserve Eedy, who does?"

I have become so invested in scorn for that guy that when I saw him in that outfit I said "bet he had that high collar specially tailored so he would stand out."

Same tho

It's not throwing the grape tomatoes in the back yard because they're about to spoil.

It's a little Easter egg hunt for the possums.

I'm *contributing* to their *enrichment*.

I am realizing that the greatest barrier to leadership is a need to be liked, to find approval.

You can never fully lead in community unless you're willing to be disliked for doing the right thing.

It's just really hard to tell the difference between the unpopular right thing and the voice of ego.

Lately I find myself looking at the way people engage and communicate, and wondering "What is your intent? What are you trying to accomplish, and can you explain how this thing you are doing serves that intent?"

Been trying to be more mindful myself of using my words effectively and intentionally.

"No, that's Big Possum, you can tell by the shape of his nose, which is less pointy than Little Possum."

"Hello, it's so nice to meet you...oh, that's right, we worked together for three years."

I don't know what it means that I am so faceblind with humans that I will introduce myself five times to the same person, but I know which possum is which on the wildlife camera.

I do not know if it is normal, but I can affirm it's not unique.

It really is.

Tonight I was talking about a party 20+ years ago where my ex-husband had lost his shit and started tearing things up. People kept coming to me and saying "we need you to stop him," and that "he stopped being my problem at the divorce," felt like freedom.

Recently I was reminded of how often a man will lose control of his emotions, and people in the room will look for a woman connected to him, expecting her to get him under control: mother, girlfriend, wife.

When a man's instability makes you feel unsafe, how easily do you sacrifice a woman to it?

Have fun at the hardware store! I like to go to the grocery store to pick up half price veggie platters and shrimp.

Other friends have pointed out that it's easier to get into fancy restaurants for an early Valentine's Day.

I hope the Super Bowl is a good day for everyone, however they do.

It's definitely on the list of "Hey, if you have fond memories attached to this movie, don't rewatch it."

I keep finding dividing lines between the 'good' and 'bad' GenX, and one of the biggest is "ones who say 'that did not age well' vs ones who say 'no one would have the balls to make it today'."

Lovely!

Today while giving a training, the following came out of my mouth:

You cannot yell with empathy.

It took voicing it aloud in that context for me to realize how deeply it's a core belief of mine.

I'm sure some folks are already thinking "Well ACTUALLY," and, well, actually, I don't care.

You know, I often find copaganda weirdly soothing, as it provides me chances to shout "neither the Constitution nor DNA testing works that way!" and throw a thing.

But that whole FBI franchise hurts even my hater-brain, and this is at the top of the Dumb.

From a trained and experienced emergency planner:

There is shit you can prepare for and shit you respond to.

A house fire, a burning warehouse, a chemical explosion you prepare for.

A hellscape firestorm that springs out of decades of bad policy, you respond to, and they have responded very well.

What a lovely teapot!

Work madness and drinking coffee.

I read it as 'Batnationalism' and didn't even blink. That probably says something about me.

Challenge for today: remember that community is a thing we build together, not a thing others build for you, and find a way to create space for connection yourself.

You get bonus points if you practice affirmative gatekeeping to ensure the people who need that community can feel safe there.

This is so important. I spoke to so many people who said "it's clear that Democrats only want my vote, not my viewpoints or values," and all they got back was "well do you want TRUMP?" instead of curiosity or inquiry. Some voted, some didn't, but they're definitely disengaged.

It is incredibly grounding. Also, a lot of the clay I am using is 'reclaim' so it's all clay that has been a failure at least once. It's nice to have a collection of little bowls that all came to me as at least a second chance for the clay.

I'm finding that this is the space I come to when I want to brighten my day, see something nice, or be given something to think about.

I started taking pottery classes. It's been a great exercise in "set aside time to be fully immersed in physical creativity," and also in "embrace the failure of accidentally ripping the head off a little bowl you're making, because the clay isn't wasted, it's just meant to be something else."

As more and more friends shift social media platforms, I'm curious:

How do you curate your inputs? What is the filter for what gets into your feed, and what have you learned about cultivating community from previous platforms' flaws and failings?

Are you being intentional?

That's a valid worry. It is a lot of beans, and I am behind BUT I am behind because I bought six pounds of beans right before getting into the club last summer and I haven't caught up. It's about 5-6 pounds of beans a quarter, which means a bean-rich diet, but basically a half-pound of beans a week.