Chris is not actually a robot

Chris is not actually a robot

@literallyarobot.bsky.social

Alleged Internet funny man. I'm legally not allowed to say this: he/him

28 Followers 38 Following 151 Posts Joined Nov 2024
2 months ago

Other than library books, trans people, gay, black or female characters in any media, vaccines, the very existence of soy as a thing which can optionally be purchased, wind turbines, drag queens that they will never actually see and pronouns conservatives don't get triggered about anything really

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2 months ago

Millennials:
"Rawr means I love you in dinosaur"
"Epic bacon!!1!!!11!1one!"
*literally gets mustache tattooed on index finger*

Also millennials:
"OMG it's so stupid how kids say 67"

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6 months ago

All that bruising and bad hand makeup is where Trump has been having to cover up his MS-13 tattoo

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6 months ago

People will play Pokemon and then not believe in evolution

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6 months ago

Please never ask me to normalize anything I don't know how

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7 months ago

Tifa will always be my #1 bad bitch because in a game where you were fighting monsters and demigods she was like I'm just gonna try punching it in the mouth

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7 months ago

Just throw it into gpt like everyone else

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7 months ago

"Superman is woke now" yeah a two hour feature film where Superman just flies around picking up Mexicans and putting them in American Auschwitz would fucking suck ass lmao

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8 months ago

They would never ask him this, it has nothing to do with Israel

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8 months ago

I WON'T EAT THE BUGS

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8 months ago

People really just don't have the hubris to challenge the gods like they used to

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8 months ago

Going outside like damn this is really what it feels like when the wizard doesn't ask how big the room is huh

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8 months ago

"So anyway a Jedi could never be constipated right because they could always use the Force to just open things up down there."

Uber driver: "we've been at your destination for 15 minutes please get out"

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8 months ago

I mean *gestures at everything*

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8 months ago

Hotel room thermostat set to 71: sweltering, humid, like eating Swamp Thing's ass

Hotel room thermostat set to 70: frostbite, instantly

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8 months ago

Zoomers will never understand how cathartic it was before cell phones and you could just slam the phone down to angrily hang up on someone

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9 months ago

If I was a noodle I like to think I'd be one of the fancier more sophisticated noodles like a fusilli or something but deep down I know I'm just a spaghetti

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9 months ago

Only $250,000,000? What are you, a farmer?

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9 months ago

Ask not for whom the Baja Blasts

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9 months ago

FULL MAGNETS

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9 months ago

ACAB includes Scruff McGruff

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9 months ago

Death is one of the 7 or 8 worst things that could happen to a person

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9 months ago

If Trump and Elon couldn't make it work what chance do any of us have πŸ’”

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9 months ago

Grown ass men really sit down on the Internet and have one tab open about being an alpha male and one tab open about THIS ACTUAL CHILD MINOR IS NOT HOT ENOUGH AND IT MAKES ME MAD

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9 months ago

No you're fucking dead

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9 months ago
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RFK Jr taking the vaccines from your body and replacing it with beef tallow:

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10 months ago

AI literally can't do worse than the people making the drive through now

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10 months ago

Too political

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10 months ago

"Consumer confidence is at an all time low" is literally just "the vibes are off" for economists

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10 months ago

Actually that guy really did have MS-13 tattooed on his knuckles he just had them tattoo it so it looked like Photoshop, IDIOT

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