@eagletears.bsky.social
๐ฆ USA ๐บ๐ธ USA ๐บ๐ธ USA ๐บ๐ธ USA ๐ฆ https://eagletearzz.straw.page/
German
13.10.2025 19:32 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0Ivan makes fun of me for constantly making jokes about farts but then drops an image of latex fart boobs
13.10.2025 06:01 โ ๐ 4 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0Ableist
12.10.2025 05:55 โ ๐ 2 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0What if I do this?
[He pulls the side of his mouth apart, sticks his tongue out, and crosses his eyes]
Nyeh nyeh!
I know you are but what am I
12.10.2025 05:03 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 1Not quite that taken
12.10.2025 03:27 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 1He's taken ๐ค
12.10.2025 02:54 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 1
Cracking open a cold one with the boys. Before I put them to work.
11.10.2025 09:43 โ ๐ 3 ๐ 2 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0
Cum in my butt boys, we're done here
*Grabs the Incredible Hulk with my mechanical armored super soldier tong hands*
Lol Kuro is a giraffe
08.10.2025 23:48 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0It's so disappointing I can't find any suspiciously placed cheeseburgers... guess I'll just have to get normal ones
02.10.2025 21:46 โ ๐ 2 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0If only I knew where the burgers could be
02.10.2025 08:49 โ ๐ 2 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 0Man I could go for like 7 suspiciously placed cheeseburgers right now
02.10.2025 07:32 โ ๐ 2 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 1Yeah, sorry man. But we can still have a spectacular bromance!
01.10.2025 03:43 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0I like when they're quiet and shy. It's so cute. Plus they gotta be able to keep up with me
01.10.2025 02:16 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0Did you just tell me to read a book after I told you that you just said a slur?
30.09.2025 22:53 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 1That sounds a lot like a slur dude
30.09.2025 22:47 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 1Isn't that the same thing? Besides, I thought everyone was valid here
30.09.2025 22:41 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 1Who's invalid?
30.09.2025 22:37 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 1As I said, sworn to secrecy, and you can't get it outta me because I'm trained with anti-torture tactics. She'd probably tell you straight up though
30.09.2025 22:35 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 1People you're not dating *yet*
30.09.2025 22:33 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 1Dude I'm sorry to tell you but you're not really my type. You're more of a bro to me
30.09.2025 22:32 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 1 ๐ 0Damn girl, you've got mad stacks of bitches? How many phones do you have?
30.09.2025 22:31 โ ๐ 0 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 1I'm pretty sure she'd be ok with me at least telling you that, no, she isn't. I think she'd probably announce that in a better way anyways
30.09.2025 22:29 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 1Yes, yes, I take it very seriously. I am a hero after all
[He sits up, criss cross applesauce. His tone shifts to one of concern]
Are you chill though? I know crushes can be godawful sometimes so, like, if you need to talk it out I'm here for you ok?
I know one way to solve all 3 of those
30.09.2025 22:24 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 1Why would you call a pregnancy the new 9/11?
30.09.2025 22:22 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 1Oh super major. Catastrophic. Life changing. The new 9/11
30.09.2025 22:20 โ ๐ 1 ๐ 0 ๐ฌ 0 ๐ 1HAHAHA ACK-
[He tumbles to the ground]
Hey! I'm just performing my civic duty as your brother to be a pain in the ass. Aaaaand to make you feel a little better
