Bill Sandwich, Master of Unlocking

The worst thing about Expedition 33 is that it almost makes me feel bad for a French person

Being an adult sucks - no one cares how fast you can run anymore

Jay Eazy, why are you confused that's the dudes looking for hoes don't have them?

When I was a kid, my grandparents had a Three Little Pigs book that I was terrified of because of the Big Bad Wolf and this is definitely evoking that

I miss the ANAD era of Marvel, a lot of good stuff came out of there

Imagine how different the gaming industry would be if Bethesda patented microtransactions back in Oblivion

Barry Allen and Peter Parker are the exact same person

I had to squat over it because I was afraid it wouldn't hold my weight

Paid too much for a video game (worth it)

Happy birthday dude! Welcome to 30 🎂

The joke about men getting a compliment and thinking about it the rest of the day is so true. If a rando compliments something about my fit in the wild, it legit cheers me up and I think about it all week

When I write out css code, I like to indent with tab, but when I write python, I indent with double space. I'm not like other girls

Ha ha oh man

Hey, you guys remember "Hawk Tuah"? Just thought about it. Funny stuff.

If I'm telling a story that happened some time when I was a teen, I'll usually say "About 10 years ago". But now that I'm 30, I was in college 10 years ago...

Left my shirt in the wash too long and I'm smelling like shit at work

Netflix Death Note is good and I'm tired of pretending it's not

Elon Mush

Aw man

I like Stephen Amell as an actor, I just wish his roles weren't mostly butchered versions of good characters

Who's participating in Starch Sadness with me?

I'll probably never get a 1 in Wordle, but I got a 1 in Isaacle today

They're Inside by Horror Section sounds like it's sung by Mordecai from Regular Show

I'm on board so long as the backstory is "I'm a Doombot I'm a Doombot I'm a Doombot"

The Monkey was a delightful surprise. Definitely a day-1 blu ray for me

Twitter seems extra miserable today

I let my Wordle score decide how my day is going to do

Twitter is for dunking on people, Bluesky is where I'll be posting all my bangers from now on (please laugh at them)

I hope this sells negative copies and Marvel loses all their money