Jess-occult Stephens

I wish those craven bastards at Disney would make a photorealistically animated remake of The Rescuers already.

The technical name for hole milk is santorum.

Anyone can have a coat of ARMS, sillies. The Isle of Man did us one better.

YouTube video by Horrible Histories Mud and Matilda | Smashing Saxons | Horrible Histories

Here's grandma and grandpa falling in love: www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9AG...

Sounds like the universe wanted this for you.

I legit just found out I'm biologically descended from William the Conqueror. Can I leverage this to gain UK citizenship? As my 26th great-grandfather William the Conqueror did?

Just tell everyone it's called "i didn’t do a good job sealing my crusts so the pie leaked everywhere oh no" pie.

God dammit. I forgot about Simple Minds.

A Catholic priest in Michigan walked so that Phil Phillips could run.

I think one of the coolest things the Puppy Bowl can do next February is have its own halftime show headlined by a bad bunny (literally any bunny will do).

Do Brits come in sizes other than Greg Davies and Josh Widdicombe, or are those the only two?

YouTube video by MSNBC Epstein survivors say they're creating their own list to release

🔥🔥🔥

I don't think things are going to get better before they get worse. But whatever the future brings, I think we all can agree

Stevie Martin plays a dad who sees Tr*mp and yells, "Oh, my god, it's a pehhhhrveht!"

This is all I'm saying you guys. He 100% would nail the role on merit, but also

But I'm not going to lie. I know in my bones that Jason Mantzoukas 100% would nail this role in the Sorkin drama. I would pay several dollars to see him read this as Daskalakis. Surname is already perfect, no Hollywood yassification needed. x.com/dr_demetre/s...

"Unable to serve": CDC vaccine chief slams Kennedy in scathing resignation post Demetre Daskalakis said there had been an "intentional eroding of trust in low-risk vaccines."

Reading this is like having a dream that I'm in an Aaron Sorkin drama except no life is nightmares and I can't wake up.

Comparison is the thief of joy. So comparing yourself to your enemies is a really great way to make them miserable.

Here's something "they" don't want you to know:
You're doing fine, it's fine, everything's fine

Would you like a cow on your flag or would you like a bird on your flag?
Moldova: Yes

Plus, this was one dynasty after the Tudors. In a win for feminism, Charles I was the one to be beheaded. Honestly, ally.

My home state of Maryland is named after Henrietta Maria, whose husband, Charles I, passive aggressively declared to be Queen Mary despite her being all, "Non! Je m'appelle Henrietta!" (She was French.) But they had a pretty supportive relationship as royal couples go.

And some of our towns and cities? Kalamazoo? Walla Walla, Washington? We have some bangers, no question.

Honestly, the name of our country? 0/10 stars. Each new word more generic than the last.

He's really excelled the Kennedy legacy. Just not the legacy of the correct Kennedys.

YouTube video by The Horne Section - Topic If I Were

I miss folk music.

Exactly! I love how evolution works!

My favorite thing about the flag of Sri Lanka is how the lion has at least one opposable thumb.

Is there stuff to do in Steubenville besides steubin'?

Matt Berry is the gift that keeps on giving. By which I mean he's delightful and hasn't died yet.