Jess-occult Stephens

Jess-occult Stephens

@jessmstephens.bsky.social

I am a professional motivational speaker for dogs. She/her/hers

387 Followers 366 Following 181 Posts Joined Nov 2024
6 days ago

Is your husband Rhonda Byrne of The Secret™️fame?

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6 days ago

You gotta commit to the bit.

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6 days ago

This "Sound of Silence" rewrite sucks.

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6 days ago

My friend's kid loved Peppa Pig as a toddler. Whenever she threw a tantrum, she'd say, "Excuse me! No thank you!" between sobs.

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1 week ago

Is this what the mean by “the godhead”?

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1 week ago

He has three, but it's only one cock.

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1 week ago

I'm worried Corey Lewandowski will be part of the sitcom and every time he or his character gets laid, Trump will start another war out of jealous rage.

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1 week ago

I thought that was the official name of Trump's second term.

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1 week ago

I'm worried she's going to film a sitcom and force the people of Peru to watch it like Garth Marenghi did.

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1 week ago

I'm worried she's going to read out a Requerimiento in Pig Latin each time she lands on foreign soil. nationalhumanitiescenter.org/pds/amerbegi...

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1 week ago

I can't fully enjoy Noem's firing until I learn more about whatever the fuck "Envoy for the Shield of the Americas" is. I'm worried she's going to deport people from Latin American countries to random non-Latin American countries.

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1 week ago

Who gets custody of Jelly Roll?

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1 week ago
YouTube
She wants the Hispanics trading kids at the food pantry deported YouTube video by Ben Palmer

Hi, pls enjoy this video in which national hero Ben Palmer fields calls to the fake hotline he set up for awful people to report suspected undocumented members of their community. Unless the caller is going to worsen your mood. In which case just enjoy the knowledge that he's wasting racists' time.

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1 month ago

I wish those craven bastards at Disney would make a photorealistically animated remake of The Rescuers already.

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1 month ago

The technical name for hole milk is santorum.

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2 months ago
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Anyone can have a coat of ARMS, sillies. The Isle of Man did us one better.

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3 months ago
YouTube
Mud and Matilda | Smashing Saxons | Horrible Histories YouTube video by Horrible Histories

Here's grandma and grandpa falling in love: www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9AG...

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3 months ago

Sounds like the universe wanted this for you.

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3 months ago

I legit just found out I'm biologically descended from William the Conqueror. Can I leverage this to gain UK citizenship? As my 26th great-grandfather William the Conqueror did?

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3 months ago

Just tell everyone it's called "i didn’t do a good job sealing my crusts so the pie leaked everywhere oh no" pie.

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4 months ago

God dammit. I forgot about Simple Minds.

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4 months ago

A Catholic priest in Michigan walked so that Phil Phillips could run.

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4 months ago

I think one of the coolest things the Puppy Bowl can do next February is have its own halftime show headlined by a bad bunny (literally any bunny will do).

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6 months ago

Do Brits come in sizes other than Greg Davies and Josh Widdicombe, or are those the only two?

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6 months ago
YouTube
Epstein survivors say they're creating their own list to release YouTube video by MSNBC

🔥🔥🔥

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6 months ago
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I don't think things are going to get better before they get worse. But whatever the future brings, I think we all can agree

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6 months ago
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Stevie Martin plays a dad who sees Tr*mp and yells, "Oh, my god, it's a pehhhhrveht!"

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6 months ago
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This is all I'm saying you guys. He 100% would nail the role on merit, but also

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6 months ago

But I'm not going to lie. I know in my bones that Jason Mantzoukas 100% would nail this role in the Sorkin drama. I would pay several dollars to see him read this as Daskalakis. Surname is already perfect, no Hollywood yassification needed. x.com/dr_demetre/s...

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6 months ago
Preview
"Unable to serve": CDC vaccine chief slams Kennedy in scathing resignation post Demetre Daskalakis said there had been an "intentional eroding of trust in low-risk vaccines."

Reading this is like having a dream that I'm in an Aaron Sorkin drama except no life is nightmares and I can't wake up.

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