matttbartsch

WATERFALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

is this thing on? 🎤🤏🎤🤏🎤🤏

i gotta make a coin gun. a gun that shoots coins. anyone have ideas

ok no. i love the metric system. the imperial system is what i hate

SUN IS SHINING IN THE SKY

THERE AINT A CLOUD IN SIGHT

IT’S STOPPED RAINING

EVERYBODY’S IN THE PLAY

AND DONT YOU KNOW

IT’S A BEAUTIFUL NEW DAY

AY AY AY

i listened to man or muppet 87,726 times this year and i loved every minute of it.

god i fucking hate the metric system

it’s so good but god forbid the united states adopts good things

i hate having top tier meta humor that only 5 people get

i just swallowed toothpaste for the first time in so long

i’m devolving as a human

i feel like we as a society have to adjust the pedestrian point scale for inflation

1 person should be more like 15 maybe 20 points not 10

and maybe multipliers like in diablo? like if i hit enough people i should get 1.5x to 2x points for a little while

i’m so mad at everyone why did nobody tell me whole foods is fucking BEAUTIFUL

does anything rhyme with milk?

but then….

one day

everything changed…. you’re all i need

UNDERNEATH THE TREEEEEEEEEEE YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

a close up of a cartoon rabbit with big eyes and a mouth open . ALT: a close up of a cartoon rabbit with big eyes and a mouth open .

oh to be one of them

the joy

BWAH BWAH

HA BWA BWAH BWAH HA BWAH

HA BWA BWAH BWAH HA BWAH!!!!

thank you and good night new york

except for the fact that i cannot and most likely will not fall asleep

how i’m actually being perceived

how i WANT to be perceived

how i feel my presence is being perceived

a man sitting on a chair talking to a woman who says i don 't know is it classy enough .. ALT: a man sitting on a chair talking to a woman who says i don 't know is it classy enough ..

me currently

also i’m sorry, but i simply don’t get how this type of social media is supposed to work

i’m not an idiot, nor am i old

i just don’t understand how the absurd thoughts and sentences i say will promote light hearted interaction

maybe i’m too classy

or not classy enough

why is it that i don’t wanna do any work during the day but the MINUTE 2AM rolls around i don’t want to sleep but i want to work

make it make sense

but don’t because people rationalizing absurd things i say scares me

so i have a great experiment. @hankgreen.bsky.social what would happen if i were to be simultaneously shot with an epipen gun and a tranquilizer gun. nothing? something? immediate or delayed death? would i become immune to everything?

i need the answers PLEASE

wait this would simply just be the anti-tranquilizer gun. since epinephrine is adrenaline, it would simply have the opposite effect of a tranquilizer

as a man with a peanut allergy ( i was to perfect so i needed a debuff ofc) i’ve always wanted places to have an epi-pen gun. similar to a tranquilizer gun, but for epipens. it would make anaphylaxis so much more rewarding

yknow what i’ll accept the fact that im just talking to myself. i’ll embrace the comfort of boredom once and for all

let it be known that i saw a meteor pass right through the aurora, yeah ik it sounds fake but the scream i scrumpt when it happened

anyways here’s some aurora seen from new york earlier this month!

10s iso 800 f2.8 28mm

#astrophotography #aurora #sony

michael kors and coors light

maybe a bag made out of coors light cans

maybe a coors light can made out of michael kors bags

they world is my oyster and i think this is the irritant that lodged between my shell and mantle, prompting my creation of nacre, making the pearl that is this idea

boom

i feel like twisted tea should collab with a tweezers brand and make twisted tweezers

yeah it would be bad to market tweezers to the inebriated

but think of the color palette

think of the BRANDING

THINK OF THE MILLIONS (of tweezers not dollars) WE COULD MAKE

instead of finding out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop i’m gonna find out how many concerningly chaotic posts it takes before i get a like or follow

my ancestors are so jealous of me rn yall have no clue