Why would anyone take a Highway to the Danger Zone?
I mean my app says I could reroute to a highway in the Non-Danger Zone
Granted, it would add another 45 minutes but I’m in no hurry
Heavily considering creating a Now That’s What I Call Music! version of what you hear when you are waiting to speak with customer service representatives on the phone
Billion dollar video game idea:
Marvel vs. Capcom x NFL Blitz
Had to help put my parents’ dog down today and after, the first song on my mom’s car radio was The Bee Gees Staying Alive… 🙄
Did you know the supposed Illuminati retreat Bohemian Grove in CA has a phone number you can just call. I’m serious
This Winter Olympics Closing Ceremony is f’ing rad af
You know what was kinda cool about Covid? The foot handshake.
Because nobody wanted to shake hands, you’d greet each other by sort of gently kicking shoes
We should bring that back
I kinda love Olympic snowboarding because the announcers will be like, “OHHH! They just landed a 7000 backdoor yahoo serious dark salamander rim-side grift!!”
and I’ll be like, “yeah that looked pretty cool”
See, if I were an Olympic athlete, I’d wanna be one of the first events because once you are done, it’s all just banging and unlimited food court for 3 weeks
How rad would that be??
One of the USA Hockey goalies has an Instagram account dedicated to pictures of Caesar Salads and I think that is neat
www.instagram.com/painbyromain...
There is a real, recognized religion based on The Big Lebowski called Dudeism. I guess it is based on Taoism, but yeah that’s nuts.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dudeism...
One thing that is good about the Epstein Files is that everyone on earth is going to know what the term ‘[REDACTED]’ means by week’s end
Just as a heads up: you should not go deep sea diving and take a plane within 24 hours because you may get The Bends
And man, The Bends will absolutely end you up in a hard way. It is said to be the most excruciating death.
So just, yanno, don’t do that
Did you know that sales of the board game Jenga plummeted for about a year after 9/11 because people were triggered by the idea of towers falling?
True story
The Olympics is so weird because it has already started even though the opening ceremony isn’t for like 4 days. And on top of that, some events don’t end until after the closing ceremonies
will i understand the grammys if i haven’t listened to music
[Sex Shop]
Me: *holding 37 dildos*
Shopkeeper: may I help you?
Me: where are the fitting rooms?
Dude there is this trend in orca whales where they wear hats made of fish and it’s like a fashion thing. You can see it in Seattle’s Puget Sound once in a while
The Devil Wears Salmon
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salmon_...
Streaming sports apps have the dumbest cyber-security. I mean nobody uses them once the season is over and every time on opening day, it’s like a goldfish-brained bouncer:
Who are you and what are you doing here??
I guess the guy who paid to be here and has for years?
Oh wow. Damn. That’s a shame. RIP
Did you know The Wild West amazingly had stricter guns laws than the US does now? Because larger towns like Wichita and Denver etc. were so important to Western expansion that they would make everyone check their guns before entering a city so nobody would start shooting each other
There used to be this insane app called Spireworks where you could change the colors of various buildings. I got stoned one night & changed the Chrysler Building to all green because of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And it worked!
No idea if it works anymore, that’s on you boo
www.spireworks.org
So I apparently live on the ice planet Hoth now.
Fun times!
I wonder if people who drive snowplows favorite Simpsons episode is the Mr. Plow one
🤷♂️ could be
So some giant snowstorm is expected to hit about half the US and somehow it is going to be like 90° in Florida. How and what??
It’s weird to think how the role of Winston Zeddemore in Ghostbusters was written by Dan Aykroyd specifically for Eddie Murphy, but he turned it down to make Beverly Hills Cop instead
That casting would have completely changed that franchise
Everyone on earth: Americans are stupid! They base their primary level of accuracy on a king’s foot??
Americans: And that’s somehow not weirder than what the meter is based on?
Just saw the 2026 Oscar nominations announcements and Michael B. Jordan really is the Michael Jordan of acting
Me: man had a rough day, gonna smoke a bowl
(30 minutes later)
My Brain: if you take the U and the H out of the word ‘DOUGHNUTS’ it’s p funny
Me: you’ve won this round, Brain
Not wrong:
“An artist has got to be careful never really to arrive at a place where he thinks he’s at somewhere. You always have to realize that you’re constantly in a state of becoming. And, as long as you can stay in that realm you’ll sort of be alright”
- Bob Dylan
