PlayerGameSK

I tried to do a long stream the other day to take my mind off of things, but it still came right back eventually.. I'm really trying my best to talk to people and be okay, but when I'm alone, I just want to curl up and cry, and it feels like it's never going to end... I hate my brain so much man

I really wish I was able to keep my mind off of the negative things in my life sometimes, but being left in the dark about whether someone I really care about still cares or even thinks about me at all anymore hurts so much... I can only hope she will be willing to talk this out someday.

As for posting publicly, even though hardly anyone is going to see it, at least I get the chance to speak without someone who's already biased with a one-sided view on the situation being able to immediately ban me or spew insults and then just block me, so nothing I say even goes through. (4/4)

since we've talked about there potentially being some furries from my part of the country, whom I hoped to maybe get in contact with down the line, as I was just starting to gain interest in the whole furry thing. (3/4)

I decided to appeal the ban, since I figured the mods are probably already aware of the situation too, but due to it being entirely personal, they haven't had a chance to hear anything from me. This wasn't about reaching out personally, I really just wanted to be accepted back in the community (2/4)

I haven't even attempted to reach out privately for weeks after the first few days have passed, and once I did, it was just to wish happy holidays and apologize for how I initially reacted. I then got messaged by her friend, which went as I already described, so in hopes that someone'd listen (1/4)

Oggy123🦊OggyTheFox on X: "Apologizing https://t.co/pSDtlEB2tE" / X Apologizing https://t.co/pSDtlEB2tE

For context, this is the post I'm referring to: vxtwitter.com/OggyOsbourne...

And I knew that'd happen if I tried to say all this privately, but when it's public, at least someone can still read it. As for talking to a professional, sure, I might need that, but bear in mind that it's all over someone who I thought considered me a friend refusing to do the bare minimum. (7/7)

...which leads me to believe that after all these years - years during which neither of us have always been a perfect friend, but have done a lot for each other - this was indeed a way to entirely cut me off, further reinforced by the fact that she already blocked me on here too (6/7)

No matter how many times I say that I care for her as a friend and that I'll give her as much time as she wants as long as I can at least rest assured we are on good terms, I either get ignored, blocked or my unban request for a community I didn't do anything wrong in gets declined... (5/7)

It's been nearly 2 months, and I made it SO clear that I just want to reconcile, yet the more I try, the more I keep getting dragged by the very person who will publicly make a "how to properly apologize" post, but then NEVER actually do it in private unless borderline forced to do so (4/7)

Not once did I get aggressive in any way though, unlike one of her friends, whom I thought would be willing to put our personal differences aside to talk about a common friend, instead the sole reason they messaged me was to ignore anything I have to say and just continuously insult me (3/7)

I did get really emotional at first, because from the last message she sent me before I got blocked, it was clear she misconstrued some things, and I wanted to set them straight, as well as apologize, so that if we aren't gonna be talking, at least we'd be on good terms with each other (2/7)

As I said, the "request" was out of nowhere (in her own words), and when I asked if things would eventually go back to what they were, the response I got was that "trying to keep her in contact with me proves I'm obsessed", when I just wanted to make sure this isn't a way to slowly cut me off (1/7)

At this point it's clear to me that any further attempt to apologize, reconcile, or make things right is only going to make them worse, but fwiw, even though she probably won't read this, I still miss @oggythefox.bsky.social as a friend, and just wish she could see it that way... 💔 (12/12)

Since @oggythefox.bsky.social is essentially the face of the CZ/SK furry community, or at least has by far the biggest presence here in Slovakia, this has left me feeling as even more of an outsider, and is mostly why I suddenly stopped feeling like continuing with the fursuit posts. (11/12)

I was banned due to a personal thing, so of course it required some input from you, but I was genuinely asking for a chance to prove that I can be a part of your community while giving you as a person time, yet I simply got declined with no indication when/if I'd be able to request again. (10/12)

You inspired me to start making #FursuitFriday posts last year and maybe eventually get more involved with the CZ/SK furry community, but you still didn't believe it wasn't about "trying to get in contact with you" when I requested an unban from a community I did nothing wrong in. (9/12)

We've had our ups and downs, and I haven't always been the best of friends, for sure, but you know full well that when we met up last year, I wouldn't even go in for a hug without making sure you were comfortable with it, so for you to think these things of me now genuinely breaks my heart. (8/12)

...but I'm not allowed to even mention that without getting accused of "putting pressure on people" or "using it as an excuse", granted I even get lucky enough to get to explain myself without getting ignored and having insults mindlessly thrown at me no matter how polite I'm trying to be. (7/12)

Being called a creep and a stalker and getting continuously villainized by people that know nothing about me for trying my best to apologize to and reconcile with not just some stranger, but a FRIEND of NEARLY A DECADE has been really hard on me mentally, as it'd probably be on anyone else... (6/12)

I confessed some feelings to you that weren't mutual, and despite the fact we agreed it doesn't change anything for us as friends, I don't think you believed I was okay with it, hence why suddenly things as simple as not wanting to lose contact with a friend became "proof that I'm obsessed" (5/12)

You said "we might get back into contact in the future" yet you just ignore or block me each time I try to make sure we're actually good, so as it stands, I don't even know if I'd be okay to approach you at an in-person event or anything... was that just a lie then? (4/12)

It really feels like this was never actually about "needing time" to be honest, but after a while, I still tried to make it clear that I'll give you as much time as you need, I just hoped our friendship at least meant enough for both of us to want to reconcile and be on good terms first. (3/12)

Yes, initially I overreacted, and I'm not trying to say I didn't, but as you said yourself, it all started very out of nowhere... things between us were seemingly well, we just made plans to watch a movie, and we were talking like normal, so it definitely caught me off-guard. (2/12)

After 8+ years of us knowing each other, @oggythefox.bsky.social has chosen to believe that getting emotional over her suddenly deciding to cut me off and then remove me from her community has to mean I'm "obsessed with her", not that I just miss and don't want to lose another friend... (1/12)

idk how many people even tend to see them on here, but in case you're wondering why I haven't done a #FursuitFriday post for like 3 weeks now - even tho I said I'd do them weekly - I'm honestly hardly in the mood to even be online lately, let alone post (or stream) much, so I don't wanna force it

Paws and a tail too 😅

Not in the mood to post a new one of these today, sorry. Just re-posting the latest one in case you missed it...

Didn't post one last week since I made a birthday post the day prior, but there was a quick 4.5 on my IG story, which you can find in the new #FursuitPosting story collection I made on there 👀