Mallory 🚀 ⚔️

Every time my kids come home from school and tell me something like "Liam said my hair looked stupid" it is so hard not to respond with "Liam can fuck off"

need him to **** ** a government building asap

I didn't like to talk on the phone even back then but my god did I want that lip phone!!

What's it like inside your head?

give women one grenade per month and qualified immunity

I want

My little second cousins call me auntie. All I can assume is that this writer does not have an extended family??

#snl #halloween #aidybryant

A formative movie for me

How old are you? I'm "googling 'most supportive house slippers'" years old.

Huge missed opportunity to call the new Now You See Me movie "Now You Three Me"

because once they are gone they are in EVERY moment. there is no reason that THE END, this tiny sliver of existence that is barely visible within the whole pie, should be worth more than all the love and joy on the way. when we are gone we are every moment, and when we are here we are every moment

anyway, i started believing this about ART when i had a realization about DEATH. when someone we love trots to the next timeline, we become obsessed with their final moments as if they have more weight. if someone dies in a tragic way, we kind of let that start to define them. this bothers me

nvm I'm watching National Treasure again 🤣

Rubber Band Man (with Hozier)

this is a good song for your friday
open.spotify.com/track/5DJ0y9...

was just volunteering at my kids' school and a mom I've met probably 20 times introduced herself to me like it was the first time and now I'm feeling like shit about myself?? like wow am I that unmemorable??

Anyone seen a good heist movie lately?

it does not help that they get handfuls of plastic doodoo at every school party, birthday party, holiday, doctor's office visit... 😩

Must be the combination of Irish brogue and cocky bastard energy 😆

James Norton is nice looking but he's never really *done it for me* ... until I saw him in House of Guinness. That is a MAN!

at the end of a series: Rictor: I can feel your vibrations across time and space, across different dimensions. Shatterstar: Our souls are bonded in perfect harmony. at the beginning of the next series: Rictor: Why don’t you ever DO THE GODDAMN DISHES Shatterstar: THIS MARRIAGE IS KILLING ME

The song "Party in the USA" has never been the same since I learned Jessie J wrote it about coming to the US from the UK for the first time

Even though Mike Tomlin coaches the Evil Team, he can still get it

My favorite thing to do on the internet is watch trailers for movies I'll never see

small #romy #animation :] #roguegambit

The ONLY promo I've seen for it was a picture of JLo at the opening on her own social media. The marketing team really dropped the ball on this one.

That looks... incredible??

"Sauce Gardner"
THAT is a football name!!

nice good time you were having, be a shame if too many sounds occurred at once

You mean to tell me the two most important players on the Colts are named "Daniel Jones" and "Jonathan Taylor." How am I supposed to remember those normie ass names. All football players should be named things like "Amon-Ra St. Brown."