Robby Slowik

At a toddler party

Yes

He’s doing war crimes. Not touring with a metal band.

The stereotype that Jews are cheap started when the whole world switched to a new calendar and Jews were like eh, the old one still works.

Trying to decide who the best 90s hockey player was. Call that MarkWayne Mullin'.

*Walking out of Star Wars in 1977*
"Wow, I've never seen anything like that. I can't wait to see the explosion of unique films this inspires!"
*Cut to literally FIFTY years later*
"This is Jabba the Hutt's son Shmaba. He looks just like Jabba but he's holding a knife. Tickets are forty dollars."

Here’s my impression of someone who works their ass off 5 days a week only to have 30% of their paycheck given to a cabal of billionaire pedophiles who use it to enrich themselves and start imperialist wars:

“So I work my ass off five days a week and the government gives 30% of my pay to the poor?”

Was just doing some shopping and noticed that Wayfair has 70% off right now and wanted to let you know

This email looks like the ACLU wants help attacking trans kids

Now that’s he’s passed I can finally tell the story of the time me, the ayatollah, and Dan Cortese got kicked out of the spearmint rhino for sneaking in a bottle of goldschläger, the only liquor the ayatollah will drink.

It’s weirdly satisfying to see all social media become slop for boomers

Y’all this took me 30 seconds to make in the notes app. Hollywood is COOKED!

The baby formula we use says “inspired by breast milk” on the bottle. We know.

'I drank SIX bottles of wine every day - until something horrific happened' Sean says he was so yellow people told him he looked like a Simpsons character

He ran out of wine?
www.mirror.co.uk/news/health/...

With the merger news, I must sadly retire my "If You See Da Cops Warna Brotha" shirt

Shout out to the BAFTAs for creating a perfect situation for me not to weigh in on

This is burger feudalism

*Taylor Sheridan pulling a slot machine arm*
"Ok, we got... Kurt Russell... as a... Fire Chief in... Paducah, Kentucky"
Paramount Exec: Sure whatever, here's $40,000,000.
All of our parents: Prairie of Flames is the best show on TV

Excited to watch this! Congrats man.

Ok FINE, yes, I cheated on you at comicon but BABE, it wasn’t a canon event.

Something about being able to do a Donald Duck voice makes middle aged men think that every child they meet is dying for it to be inflicted on them

*A caveman realizes that scraping charcoal on the wall leaves a residue and immediately draws a crude likeness of a person*

Another caveman watching over his shoulder: "Hollywood is cooked."

I know I’m out of shape because my seven-month-old just grabbed my bicep and started looking for a nipple

Because one is a MAGA Republican and the other is a traditional Republican?

Fox News around the midterms

I remember when comics were like, “holy shit, I booked a Super Bowl commercial!!” and now they’re like, “I auditioned but the part ended up going to Bon Jovi.”

How does Brandi Carlisle keep finding musician twins?

I can’t imagine getting a performance review at work now. Corrupt billionaire pedophiles and rapists control everything and you want to ask what deliverables I’m most proud of?

Harrison Ford Loves ‘Shrinking’ So Much It Would Be a “Sufficient” Way to End His Extensive Career The iconic actor appeared on a panel during Apple TV’s press day in Santa Monica where he opened up on his love for the show and his admiration for new co-star Michael J. Fox.

Amazing headline if you don't know it's the name of a show
www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/h...