April Wolfe

This is what really scares me right now.

in the future you will all be very jealous of my completely illiterate child

I had two 5-year-olds chasing me at a kids’ birthday yesterday, and I threw on the brakes, gave them a little juke, and then hit the gas, and they collided with each other where they thought I was going to be and went down in a crying heap. Absolutely cooked their asses. One of the kids was mine.

I already hated those spam emails and texts, but knowing that only a tiny portion of the money they raise goes to actual campaigns fills me with disgust

Hell yeah

Chalk drawing of a pink muppet head with pink pom pig tails and several erratic yellow strokes over her face resembling flames

This artistic collaboration between my mom and my kid makes it look like Sesame Street’s Abby is burning in the flames of hell.

If you’re an immigrant with legal status who’s committed 0 crimes you can be sent to a torture prison where you’ll be raped and dehumanized.

If you’re old pals with Trump and ran a pedophile ring you get sent to a cushy minimum security prison despite being ineligible because you’re a sex offender.

I do think they have control of it, it’s just very openly hostile but we keep projecting the best case scenarios onto it. They could make a machine that puts you in a coma while draining your life force and the articles will be about why it might be a good tech for getting radical rest.

Schumer caving on the budget will probably be seen as the biggest legislative mistake of this administration but that crypto bill is gaining fast and probably ends up being an early exhibit in explaining how we lost a republic

I’m so lazy but I know you’re right

Abolish ICE

Entered the phase of parenting where the kid wakes up calling out the names of her favorite Sesame Street characters.

ISRAEL DETAINED AND then deported an American nurse who tried to save the life of Awdah Hathaleen, a Palestinian activist who worked on the Oscar-winning documentary film “No Other Land.” After Israeli settler Yinon Levi allegedly shot and killed Hathaleen on Monday in Umm al-Khair, a village in the occupied West Bank, the critical care nurse gave Hathaleen four rounds of CPR. She cradled his head in her hands, checking his pulse and whispering “You’re OK,” as he bled out, the nurse told The Intercept. The medical worker asked not to be named because they fear for their safety. Hathaleen was then taken away in an ambulance, where he died before reaching the hospital.

Israel just detained and then deported an American nurse for trying to save a Palestinian life.

theintercept.com/2025/08/01/a...

Oh no it’s the male loneliness epidemic

I have zero knowledge beyond what is in the press, but at the very least it really *looks* that way.

I think about this constantly. A bunch of out-of-control addicts are trashing the entire planet. I keep imagining what harm the addicts I’ve known could have done with infinite resources and nobody asking them if maybe they might want to get some help.

Had a chat with a friend of mine from work about an AI talk from an she was forced to attend and while I can't get into the specifics, due to how she described the speaker I've been wondering: Has there been an actual study on stimulant abuse in the tech sector?

it’s me, a guy whose livelihood depends on a transparent and rule-driven political and economic order, supporting the white idi amin whose main promise is that he’ll rob me blind in exchange for letting me participate int he economy

Firing someone because you don’t like them showing honest numbers to the public, while you’re preparing to pardon the right hand to arguably America’s biggest sex trafficker so she can make up a story about your enemies and cover for you, is truly mad king level stuff. But for Trump, it’s a Friday.

I knew it was probably coming, but CPB ending is such a shock, especially now that I have a kid and see its contributions everywhere.

When the economy is stronger than ever

Epstein survivor Sarah Ransome on Ghislaine Maxwell: “It makes me sick that she is claiming to be a victim. This is the same woman that grabbed my arm and forced me into a room to be raped by Jeffrey. She had this evil smirk on her face. And she enjoyed it.”

ht: @marcofoster.bsky.social

California's economy is already getting hit by immigration raids The number of people reporting to work in the private sector in California has decreased by 3.1% — a downturn only recently matched by the COVID-19 lockdown.

I have to wonder how much of the collapsing economy can be attributed to the deliberate terror campaign in the nation's largest state, which has led to 3.1% of California workers—a big number!—not showing up to the job since ICE raids started.
www.latimes.com/business/sto...

I would like to fill in my ballot now.

Gee I wonder why those top two sectors have so many openings better hire more ICE goons to look into it

No issues at all with journalists farming stories there

75%-85% of the users are bots!!Wild. If you’re still on Twitter you might be the only actual human someday soon.

This is horrific. It leaves me wondering how anyone will prove citizenship if a birth certificate no longer does so.

$20M for a clock!

My husband has been quoting this to me all day lol