April Wolfe

April Wolfe

@aprilwolfe.bsky.social

Bette Davis eyes. Make movies. Comb cats. Michigandery. WGAW. I'm with UTA and XYZ.

14,474 Followers 1,611 Following 69 Posts Joined May 2023
10 hours ago

Hoo-boy

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10 hours ago

We could still be curing cancer and giving kids free meals and forgiving student loans and doing universal healthcare but instead we’ve got some boats on a dock.

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13 hours ago

If we made the green energy transition this war would be unthinkable and these authoritarians wouldn’t be in power — not in the US, not in Iran, not in Saudi Arabia, not in Russia. Hydrocarbons are killing our freedom and just plain killing us.

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22 hours ago
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If anyone wasn't of the belief that he's trying to create a state-run media, the fact that he shared this should take care of any hesitation on that front.

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19 hours ago

Sure, it's DWS, a subsidiary of Deutsch Bank, doing business as RREEF Core Plus Industrial REIT L.L.C. out of Delaware in the U.S. It's described as a Russian nesting doll of shell companies that all lead back to DWS/Deutsch asset management and try to obscure their role in ownership.

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20 hours ago

“woke zamboni” is, objectively speaking, the coolest possible vehicle

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20 hours ago

Germans have entered the concentration camp chat

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20 hours ago

Watching these guys learn basic geopolitics in real time is incredible. Ah so that's why you need allies. I see

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1 day ago

breaking out my calipers for one last job

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21 hours ago

Still laughing at the Bikini Kill joke in Strip Law. I’m the brain dead parent of a toddler so I feel like I am missing like 3/4 of the jokes in that show.

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1 day ago
Donald J. Trump 
@realDonald Trump
Maggot Hagerman, just another SLEAZEBAG writer for The Failing New York Times, insists on writing false stories about me, even though she fully knows and understands that the exact opposite of anything she says is usually the truth. In any event, I'm thinking of adding Maggot, and some of her "associates," into my Florida based Lawsuit against The Times which, very happily, seems to be proceeding nicely. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DJT
5.86k ReTruths
25.1k Likes
3/13/26, 4:32 PM

She hasn’t published a story in eight days. Sounds like he knows something bad is coming!

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1 day ago

This is what happens when elected officials make your transit decisions. (There is a categorization error. The Caltrans rep cannot vote. The other rep is appointed by LA mayor and does her bidding. 100% of LA Metro Board votes belong to elected officials)
bsky.app/profile/rsda...

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1 day ago

I genuinely don't know how to process this.

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1 day ago

A Democrat has won the mayor's seat in Boca Raton... by one vote:

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1 day ago
Preview
Anti-ICE protesters accused of being part of antifa found guilty of support for terrorism in Texas Case was seen as major test of the first amendment and whether the US could use broad anti-terrorism statute to prosecute leftwing protesters

Breaking news: A jury convicted people who protested outside an ICE facility in Texas of providing material support to terrorists, and other charges in a closely watched case in which the gov't argued the protesters were "Antifa". www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

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1 day ago
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I read the “Save America Act,” so you don’t have to. Most of the media apparently *hasn’t* read it because, if they had, they would be sounding the alarm about the provision in Point 1, below, which almost none of them have even mentioned. I hope this summary helps raise awareness. 1/

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1 day ago

Kristi Noems husband 10 days after they get a dog from the pound

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1 day ago

🚨 The Pentagon is now sending a Marine expeditionary unit — meaning thousands of marines — to the Middle East.

If you work at the Pentagon or in the armed forces, please text me on Signal: premthakker.35

Your anonymity will be protected.

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1 day ago

imagine dragon deez nuts across a newly planted grave as my friends take pictures and laugh with me

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2 days ago

It says a lot about Kurzel that I mentioned him and two people immediately brought up Snowtown, a movie so grim I have not been able to bring myself to watch it.

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2 days ago

Finally watched The Order and Justin Kurzel is so good at “a bunch of guys get together to do crimes” movies. Will never not think of the scene in True History where Nicholas Hoult is stroking his hog and Essie Davis suddenly jumps on him and bites his fucking face. Cinema!

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2 days ago
Dear Temple Israel Family,
Everyone is safe. All 140 students in our Susan and Harold Loss Early Childhood Center, our amazing staff, our courageous teachers, and our heroic security personnel are all accounted for and safe.
As you have no doubt heard, Temple Israel was the victim of a terrorist gunman who was confronted and neutralized by our security personnel who are truly heroes. Our teachers followed their training and kept the children safe and calm.
We are deeply and humbly grateful to our teachers, staff, security, law enforcement, and Shenendoah Country Club that welcomed us, fed us, and sheltered our staff, teachers, children, and parents. What incredible neighbors we have. What incredible police force we have
This note is coming to you before we know anything about our future programming or services, or any investigation. We wanted you to know we are safe, and we love you all.

A statement from Temple Israel in West Bloomfield, Michigan:

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2 days ago

He has no idea what he’s talking about and we have mine removal teams so the Navy doesn’t have to send like aircraft carriers and destroyers through there to find mines the explodey way.

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2 days ago

This is the best lede I've seen in a tech story in...years? There should be an award just for ledes.

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2 days ago

WEST BLOOMFIELD, Mich. (AP) — Suspect in attack on Michigan synagogue is dead, AP source says.

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2 days ago
Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
The Iran National Soccer Team is welcome to The World Cup, but I really don't believe it is appropriate that they be there, for their own life and safety. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP
6 ReTruths 16 Likes
Mar 12, 2026, 10:00 AM
A

So I don’t think a sitting president has ever threatened the life of a soccer team coming to their country’s World Cup?

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2 days ago
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This guy is designed to drive me insane. They jailed the protestors and are still trying to charge them with major federal crimes, John. They targeted the protestors for deportation, John. Also, THE CAMPUS PROTESTORS ARE STILL OUT THERE.

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3 days ago
A google maps view of the area around the Strait of Hormuz, with crude markup showing the 4 steps to successfully clearing the strait:

1. Build up speed
2. Hit Trampoline
3. Cool backflip
4. Nail the landing

The boat is illustrated using a clip art yacht, and the trampoline is also just kind of floating there.

wait. wait. everyone hold on. i've solved it

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3 days ago

Could solve the birth rate decline worries with how much we’re all gonna fuck when he dies. A whole new baby boom waiting to be born.

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