Charlie 🐻 Melbourne

Text. adult. Despite these experiences, she describes arriving in Melbourne in 1991, at 43 years old, as follows: "It seemed miraculous that, so far from Europe, the culture should be so sophisticated." Sheila has apparently always had a negative relationship with straight s_x, despite claims to the contrary. It's honestly read-it-to-believe-it, so here are some excerpts. Sheila' account of when a uni friend told her about a recent s_xual experience: "I panicked and my brain went out up to the ceiling so that I was separated from and looking down upon my body. I told Ann that I was scared of what was happening and she brought aspirins and started to shove them down

Text. "me as if that might help." She has always had a low opinion of men's s_xual ability: "For my first go I chose a medical student as I was concerned that a man would confuse my an_s with my va__na and use the wrong hole, and I wanted an expert on the job." She also fantasises about how, were she a young woman today, she would experience s_xual assault, "I suspect I would not have escaped s_xual assault if I was embarking on a heterosexual career today." Of course, S workers are to blame for this imagined increase in s_xual assault "Fortunately, I was not ra_ed or s_xually assaulted in any way during my heterosexual career, which lasted until I became a lesbian at 28 years. I think this impunity would be harder to achieve

Text. "today. Assaults in clubs and discos, for instance, are commonplace now because of the burgeoning industry of pro_____tion." The final thing I learned about Sheila is that she is driven. She has been heavily criticised throughout her career, both from anti-feminists who find feminism itself laughable, and from feminists who (in my opinion, justifiably) feel that her ideas range from concerning to dangerous. She has had difficulty securing book deals, gaining employment in UK universities, been rejected at numerous feminist events, and has been booted out of almost every feminist group she has contributed to.

Text. Sheila's opinions are out there, even when compared to other SWERFs and TERFs. For the uninitiated, her most widespread beliefs include that men are, by default, predatory; that women should, en masse, become political lesbian separatists; that trans feminine people are insane sxual deviants, trans masculine folk are misguided and self-hating lesbians (she does not consider intersex people); that S workers don't know our own minds; and that Isr__l has a right to wipe out Pal______ans. This book was also dotted with many of her more fringe opinions, including that women who've been rap_d should be denied therapy (she considers it to be abusive, pro-men conversion therapy); that men who knit are s_xual fetishists; gay men who desire children

Text. are pae____les; s_xual orientation is a choice, and women should choose lesbianism; cis women with vaginismas or any other s_xual issues should be denied treatment; that STIs cannot be transmitted between cis women (like everything else in this list, this is incorrect); that love is a tool of control men use over women, why else would women partner with men?; and that BD_M, k_nk and edgy fashion trends are pro-Na_i. Sheila is self important. The title ought to give that away, really. Trigger Warning is a title you'd expect from a right wing shock jock, not a respected feminist and former professor.

Text. Sheila is petty. In the opening chapters of the book she recounts perceived blights that occurred during her childhood, events which would be insignificant in the lives of most other people. She does not play nice with others and has no skills to repair relationships, nor the interest to learn them. Unable to engage with criticism of her work, she jumps straight to ad hominems. Sheila has colonial brain rot, and is frequently racist. As none of this is conscious, however, she fails to see her behaviours as harmful. Sheila grew up a self-described "army brat," spending part of her youth in Germany and Malta, before returning to England. She also spent a year working in America as an

Photo of cat grooming herself with an e-book in the foreground. E-book display shows the cover of Trigger Warning: My lesbian feminist life by Sheila Jeffreys.

Text. Trigger Warning: My lesbian feminist life (2020) by Sheila Jeffreys (she/her). I picked up this autobiography while reading some of Sheila's more academic work, mostly written in the 90s and 2000s. I wanted to see whether her views had evolved, and also gain insight into how she understands the impact of her career. I would not recommend this work however, on those fronts, it did not disappoint. This book covers Sheila's life, from her family's history through to the late 2010s. It paints a picture of a driven, though unpleasant and petty, woman who is deeply uncomfortable with intimacy. The following is what this book taught me about Sheila.

Pan's review was a hiss, then full-body wash. If you want to know my thoughts, the full review is on my website, charliebearbookings.com/writing/trigger-warning-my-lesbian-feminist-life-2020-by-sheila-jeffreys.

So excited to announce these tours!

I will be #touring #Perth for the very first time from 26th to the 28th of July!

#Melbourne will be in August, dates pending.

Prebookings essential!

Can't wait to see you there x 🛩🥰

#NSFW #nsfwsky #BBW #MILF #GILF #curvy #plussize #provider

Charlie, a white person with short brown hair, standing with their arms over their head and hands touching their face. They are wearing a mesh bodysuit and fine golden jewellery.

Am I thinking about a) my cats, b) a nice cup of tea, c) a cozy spot to read, or d) all of the above?

Photo by @silklabphoto.bsky.social

Ooh, yes this is a good collection! I think there have been several books released recently which try and fail to capture what it does ✨

Charlie Bear

🌶 Hurts So Good: the science and culture of pain on purpose (2021) by Leigh Cowart (they/them) 🌶

I enjoyed this easy read and would especially recommend it to anyone who side-eyes BDSM play. You can find more of my writing at CharlieBearBookings.com

We experience pain differently in different circumstances; needle pain feels different if a careless pathologist is rooting around in our arm for a ‘good vein’, we’re completing the ritual of ear piercing, receiving acupuncture, or engaging in needle play with a trusted partner. It’s not so much that these physical experiences are hugely different, but that the emotions and sense of agency that accompany them - in combination with expectations set by cultural narratives surrounding these practices - influence our experience and response to the sensation of pain. Leigh tests this idea; consulting hot chilli enthusiasts, ultramarathon runners, the religious history of self-inflicted pain, as...

...well as participating in the Coney Island Polar Bear Plunge, reflecting upon their former practice of ballet, and their enthusiasm for the M in BDSM. In pointing to these diverse examples of pain on purpose Leigh argues that masochism is actually fairly common, often tied to ritual, and even recognised as an achievement worthy of celebration. Throughout the book Leigh makes a careful attempt to differentiate pain on purpose from pain as compulsive and/or unwanted suffering. Articulating that “Discarding context, boundaries and consent pain is just suffering,” Leigh strongly argues against the pathologisation and shaming often put...

...onto people who practice masochism. They also highlight the sense of accomplishment, mindfulness, and introspection that pain on purpose can bring. At multiple points Leigh noted that participants in pain on purpose events were mostly white. I think some investigation as to why (particular events chosen, racial exclusion, cost barriers etc) would’ve added something to the book. I would have welcomed a discussion of how pain is unequally inflicted upon marginalised groups by the structures we live amongst. Given that Leigh has a professional research background, and that the book's arguments were well supported overall, I was disappointed that...

...the discussion of race was noted on page 71, “There is a deeper conversation that must be had about this [that white settler colonists forcefully prevented Okipa people from practicing an important religious ceremony involving suspension], and as a white person, it will be my job to listen,” and then abandoned. Leigh is frank about their histories of abuse in ballet, self harm and disordered eating. Their writing also includes a handful of grisly descriptions of bodies in pain and exhaustion, as well as extreme body modification. Their personal reflections resonated with my own experiences of unwanted pain and I felt that the grisliness was well balanced with humour, ultimately enriching Leigh’s insights.

I’m hoping this might be a way to engage with you all that I’m more comfortable with than the previous attempts I’ve made while trying to maintain a presence on social media.

Photo of the book Hurts So Good: the science and culture of pain on purpose. The book is resting on a blanket and a wooden tray with water and some fruit is nearby.

This and the remaining images are all text. Hurts So Good: the science and culture of pain on purpose (2021) by Leigh Cowart (they/them). This is a book about how pain works, and people who seek it. More interestingly, it’s a careful and shame-free examination of how our cultural understanding of pain shapes and gives meaning to the rituals Leigh calls pain on purpose. Leigh clearly approaches pain from a place of curiosity, using reflections on their personal relationship to pain (both on purpose and not) as a jumping off point into the wider world of masochism. Conversations with friends, experts and folk engaging in pain on purpose are bolstered by interviews of scientists, researchers and professional pain providers.

Welcome to Bear’s Books!
I’m a bit of a bookworm and often find myself bursting to share my bookish interests and reflections on what I’ve been reading. So... I’ve decided to make up simple summaries and criticisms (my love language) of books I’ve been thinking about here and also over on my website

Thanks! I hope you find it interesting.

No radio, no problem! You can stream the live broadcast on the 3CR website. If you miss it, a recording and notes will be available on the 3CR website later today.

www.3cr.org.au/streaming

Graphic with 3CR Radical Radio logo and image of Charlie. Overlaid text reads: Trans Day of Audibility Tune in to 855 AM at 4:30-5pm today.

Text reads Amy, from Kill Your Lawn and Kick Your Fence and Local Food Connections, will talk with non-binary SWer Charlie Bear about their research into the Australian Christian Lobby's anti-trans and anti-SW campaigning.

Tune in to the 3CR 855 AM Trans Day of Audibility broadcast and listen to Amy Ciara of Kill Your Lawn and Kick Your Fence interview me about my research on the Australian Christian Lobby.

Image above text. Image shows Charlie, a white person with short brown hair leaning against a pole, holding a wine glass and smiling at something in the distance. They are wearing a tailored shirt and pants. They are on a rooftop, behind them lies Fitzroy. Text: Offerings update. I've altered my offerings to better reflect the interests of my lovely clientele. Notably, a--l is now included in Mild offerings. I've also adjusted my rates, prioritising longer engagements. I continue to offer a reduced pay-what-you-can window to folk who are disabled, neurodivergent, trans and/or peers.

Offerings update 🍑

Current offerings and rates can be found at charliebearbookings.com/sx-work-services x

Screenshot of Nike sponsored ad where a person is wearing gym gear and running but suspended in the air. Along the back of the person, from their head to their back foot, is what looks exactly like glass anal beads.

Screenshot of glass anal beads on grey background from Lovehoney website.

Nike x Lovehoney cross promotion

Charlie, an average sized white person with short brown hair, leaning against a tiled bathroom wall wearing a white cotton singlet, thong and brown strap harness. They look gay (positive).

I've returned from my social media break 🥰

I'm touched to find hundreds of new followers, thanks to you all! I'll be replying to DMs and making other housekeeping updates in the coming days/weeks.

I'm also giddy to share some new snaps taken by the lovely @silklabphoto.bsky.social.

C x

Close up of purple iris with cotton-glove covered hand supporting flower.

Second iris, slightly bruised by the wind.

Mid-spring blooms 🌱

A cozy modern hotel room with recently used bed and floor-ceiling windows with view of inner city suburb in background. Two small tables strewn with toys, candles, towels and tea in foreground.

Whöre still life 🍐

Creamy spinach and mango smoothie bowl topped with kiwi fruit, raspberries, blueberries and toasted coconut.

The brain freeze was worth it 😋

Tray with small pots of food including hummus, carrots, tomatoes, berries and passionfruit. There is also an herbal tea and sparkling water. A copy of The Plague by Albert Camus is propped up in front of the tray lit by a small lamp.

To maximise reading time one must make preparations 🐛

Crimpy, an adult tabby cat, and Pan, an adult black cat, curled up on Charlie's bed while licking each other.

Unknown small red berries on bush.

Two bowls of homemade sweet potato, white bean and kale soup.

Enjoying the last gasps of winter 🌬️

Evie, white person with long brown hair, lying on her back on large wooden table. Charlie has adorned them in flowers.

Evie Elysian early in the year 💛

Crowne Plaza accessible bathroom shower. It's a large roughly 2m by 2m recess with a pull down shower bench and hand rails.

I maintain that Crowne Plaza's accessible rooms are the best in the city for watersports. Do with this information what you will 🤷🏼‍♀️

Cassie, a small and very floofy adult German shepherd, lying on bed with her big brown eyes staring into the camera.

Shallow bowl with coconut yoghurt, granola, strawberries, passionfruit and pomegranate.

Slow mornings at home 😌

Pan, adult black domestic shorthair cat, squirming in her window hammock. x4

Pan, adult black domestic shorthair cat, squirming in her window hammock. x4

Pan, adult black domestic shorthair cat, squirming in her window hammock. x4

Pan, adult black domestic shorthair cat, squirming in her window hammock. x4

Pan, my wild child.

When we first met she had a few behavioural issues that we've managed to largely overcome. It makes me so proud to see her so comfortable and so herself 💗

Cafe breakfast. Toast loaded with avocado, roast pumpkin, eggplant, chilli and greens. Cold brew coffee in background.

Don't mind if I do 😋

My card making set up with mat, paper guillotine, and printed card in various stages of being cut. Cards have different colours saying names of body parts and seggsual acts/accessories.

Every now and then I have a really good idea. I can't wait to share these with you (and my gorgeous clients) 😚

Food from a market stall in a brown card box. The food is a mix of veggies including wax beans, cauliflower, eggplant, sweet potato, avocado and lime.

Stall with several types of iced cupcake including raspberry and chocolate.

Bunch of sunflowers.

Come Sunday there's a high chance you'll find me mooching around a market 🌞🧁🌻

I've been away on a little break, but I'll be home tomorrow with a free day. Send me a love note to arrange a date, via charliebearbookings.com x

Experience both our Emerald tastes 🍀

Wednesday 12-6pm

ceceb.com.au

Certificate from Touching Base certifying that 'Charlie Bear has completed the online Touching Base Professional Disability Awareness Training Workshop, 01/09/2023'.

Thank you Touching Base! For me, the most valuable parts of the workshop were hearing from disabled folk about their experiences with SWers, and learning how to better navigate the NDIS. I highly recommend Touching Base to disabled babes seeking providers, and to all peers 🤓

touchingbase.org