Elliotte Friedman

I got a hughes stat for you, he leads the NHL in cuck-chairs owned 🤡🤡

hey why don’t you go mind your own business jabroni 🤡🤡

can’t wait to penetrate your ears next year 🥵😩

This is what i’ve been told the roster is too Mr. Joe Fresh

Sources telling me that Neal didn’t read my bio

Sources telling me some of the better options were left off the roster after Mike Babcock looked through their phones and saw they had TikTok installed.

With the unofficial team Canada roster being released it’s clear that they have stuck to tradition not choosing the best roster to try to level the playing field. Montembeault, Parayko, and Sanheim being selected ensures other countries will have an opportunity to compete regardless of score.

It’s harsh making NHL players live in Ohio

Tragic news out of Minnesota but 4 players careers have suddenly come to an end. Daemon Hunt, a 1st, 2nd, 4th have been traded to CBJ. May their careers forever rest in peace.

Meier to have a hearing today from DOPS for attempting to preform a lobotomy on Zachary L’Heureux. As an individual who’s had a lobotomy, George Paros is taking this seriously. Most likely outcome is a 5-game suspension for Morgan Rielly.

In an unexpected twist, there seems to be a romantic development within the Blues organization. Montgomery said Doug Armstrong gazed into his eyes and stated “When something delicious falls on my plate, I eat.” while biting his lip. Jim, experiencing a recent divorce in Boston, took the opportunity.

Hearing the officials of the game in Toronto tonight will have their betting history reviewed post game.

Hearing Kaprizov will return soon after medical team discovered he was faking an injury to play NHL25 club finals.

With the Leaf’s injury troubles i’m hearing they’ve asked Marner to play centre. Without hesitation he stated “Of course! Centres get paid more than wingers, this will be great for my negotiations.”

St. Louis Blues have fired Drew Bannister and replaced him with Jim Montgomery. Hearing they were happy a real coach became available.