Abbie Jackson

Danger 5! Really hard to watch, well, anywhere these days. Incredibly unique bizarro comedy show that would fit perfectly on the platform.

gdi i thought from this that we'd fired frank

If this sounds made up then just think my girlfriend felt when I went from texting “it’s over i can’t go on any more” to “it’s okay Corinne Bailey Rae is here”

Last year i was very depressed in a park and out of nowhere CBR appeared and asked if I was doing ok and because I have brainrot the first thing I asked her was what she thought of the ritt momney cover. So im here to tell you she earnestly really likes it and loves the slowed down bit. You’re welco

A google search of Shaq's height, listed as 2.16m, next to a google search of Big Shaq's height, listed as 1.79m.

when do the lies stop?

Australia not beating the “confused with Austria” allegations

People in Australia are really crazy about schnitzels. Schnitzels everywhere. They just can’t enough of them

lesbian sex, or as i like to call it, the double clit experiment

no horses at the met gala... who even cares then

(Points at neovag) this is my hole it was made for me

Nice n Sleazy by The Stranglers

HuffPost Chris Christie Leaves No Doubt

a dark day for ska

A picture of the box the internet comes in, it has taken on the shape of a spider as a means to ward of predators.

Australia is terrifying

Definitely! There’s some great stuff there. I’m a big fan of the Destroyer/New Pornographers sphere of artists. Check out Owen Pallett’s records too.

Yeah :/ rough

I know the twin peaks theme is “good” and all but if I made that on garage band I’d be like “huh, neat” then never show anyone, yknow

We are once again moving

They just gave a tannoy announcement to say they closed them again because apparently they got back on the tracks and then they lost sight of them or something. My Spotify just shuffled onto “Some Things Last a Long Time”. Bad omen

I just wanna go to bed

Do you know if they’re still there? Stuck on a train in Hitchin, my dinner plans fucked already but I’d love live updates

get you a girl who:
✅ is in your area
✅ knows the first three numbers
✅ teaches bitches how to swim

Why does “Elon Musk” sound like a background character in Echo

me: good morning Killbot

killbot: good morning sir, shall i kill you this morning sir or prepare a smoothie

me: smoothie please

killbot: excellent choice sir i shall try again tomorrow

when i feel ok about myself that’s delusion. when i feel bad about myself that’s a clear-eyed assessment of reality. this is a sensible way to live

this sounds wicked. You should check out the band Tamam Shud if you haven't already, from around the same era, I hear a lot of similarities

Seeing a lot of discourse about transphobia on my TL so feel like I need to say something: it's only transphobia if it's from the Transphobia region of England*, otherwise it's just sparkling bigotry

* the Transphobia region of England covers all of England

(Takes out notepad) go on

I wish they’d invent sex for bottoms

(Olivia Rodrigo who just saw the brutalist) Damn. It’s brutalist out here