Beanycat

A cat next to several plushies, sitting on top of a fridge

Söckchen enjoying the camouflage between plushies

a cat in trans colours as outfit, in front of a rainbow flag

Been in my usual lgbt-themed club, today with a little difference in my colour palette ~
happy pride from ffxiv!

A cat staring from under a blanket

A cat looking through blinders, sitting on the window till

Söckchen and Fussel have very different ideas of a relaxing place this morning
Happy #caturday !

Nice, und das solo? bin beeindruckt!

A cat laying on the couch

Fussel is showing the beans 🫘

Söckchen enjoying the sun and pats :3
She’s such a relaxed cat
Love the lil bean

Currently questioning if, when bozja 2.0 comes out, i actually do play xiv more or end up just doing more RP stuff as usual
look, i love that kind of content, but do they cat cafes there?!

Two miqote from ffxiv cuddling up and holding hands

Me and @meowingkittycat.bsky.social at E6 (a lgbt themed venue), getting a photo from the venues photographer.
I think they did a good picture there ^-^
Also a reason for her to finally get on bluesky :>

FIMSH
i love this. we used to scream that while playing webfishing/ffxiv all the time, lol

or if i'd just trade the dysphoria for a ton of other issues (again, just my situation!). Life is hard, and as i said this slowly tends towards just going NB. Maybe ill manage. Try compromises again. As long as the important people know... it might work for me. Time to stop ranting, though c:

So yeah, my mind is still on the question if, once my egg cracks and i kinda accept things, i need to rush to do stuff, or if i can just... accept it, but still wonder if i truly improve my situation (just mine, im not trying to invalidate any others path!) with going full therapy etc ->

Some days i just wonder if staying in my egg and never engaging with myself further wouldve been better. On the other hand, hearing people just taking me as is, regardless, calling me how i *feel* comfy and saying its okay, was really... nice. Im not used to being affirmed, or people who know.

Urgh, i just dont want to to set wrong expectations or appropiate a community. Most people just told me as long as the feelings are real i deserve that label, and a lot of people stay stealth/closeted for their own wellbeing (or downright safety).
But... ofc, thats not a uniform opinion....

Going full route of making appointments, possibly HRT, giving up a lot of my life, and seeing where the world heads right now, plus my situation, is a huge decision vs staying stealth (not like im completly invisible as is, but yall know what i mean).

Smol personal rant: Im still unsure what to do on the whole identy/label front. Im tempted to just go with NB, albeit thats not ideal and not *quite* fitting. Simply saying MtF or such is giving me hard impostor syndrome, albeit most (trans) people/communities i asked were pretty welcoming.

Dont worry, im aware :) shouldve clarified maybe, let me try again.
Happy birthday, enjoy it you both! Make sure the shonk behaves :3

Happy bday, shonk!

Wenn du so weiter machst, trau ich mich irgendwann zumindest mal Beine zu zeigen 😹
Bewundere den Mut :3

Intel shonks

A miqote being amazed by a cup of coffee on the table.

Been to a little RP cafe today, and the waitress actually placed the coffee in front of me upon ordering it. Thats been a little cute detail i havent seen around much, thought i share a little screenie of my cat being amazed at the actual cup of coffee sitting in front of her ^-^

a hand with a bracelet (with hearts) patting a blahaj-plushie on a lap.

Pat blahaj day! Also, while its still scary to be even a tiny bit more open about stuff, have hand plus bracelet now. The most i dare for the moment. c:

Shonks

I managed to befriend someone who is literally the most distance you could possibly be from me irl (12h timezone difference)
That is one very expensive flight even if we would want to meet, which is something we talk about here and there, cause it stops any ideas right in its tracks.

Honestly, my autistic butt would probably answer the same, wonder what question that even is, and then realize what they actually tried to say. x3

Arielle (little mermaid) was probably my absolute favourite. Ofc lion king and Snow White were regularly used on vhs though!

Appearently live action Cinderella is a thing that exists and I’m now watching it
One of my fav movies when I was a kid, albeit I watched the Disney cartoon version back then obvs
Would love to have anyone to watch with me here, but now my cats gonna endure the snuggles :3

Der Part geht bei mir, ich bin immer schon ne eigene Person gewesen. Mehr das offen sein über gewisse Themen ist schwierig, und der haj ist ja nicht ganz unbekannt :3
Mittlerweile glauben die Leute wohl sowieso dass ich alt genug bin ums für eigene Familie zu kaufen, statt für mich 😭

That’s somehow managing to be misogynistic and biphobic at the same time, I feel
Even if the risk on average was higher, just saying „it’s whatever if you stay with straight men only“ seems so devaluing for everyone involved

Ich hab mich lange nicht getraut auch nur einen zu haben, jetzt ist der eine neben 3 katzenplushies
Ein großes plus von mir für die dedication :3 ggf. Hol ich noch mal einen großen