The Heathyorker

The Heathyorker

@theheathyorker.bsky.social

Parody account swapping captions from Healthcliff and The New Yorker Not affiliated with either cartoon. Tips/donations appreciated but not necessary Cash App: cash.app/$theheathyork

1,816 Followers 15 Following 699 Posts Joined Aug 2023
8 hours ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff, wearing a turban floats out of the bathroom riding a bath mat. Grandma Nutmeg says "And the Oscar goes to... Kendra's new boyfriend, Jeremy, for his performance as Guy Who Is Interested in College Sports as Much as Her Father Is." New Yorker Panel:
An awards show host is announcing a winner. He says "The Flying Bath Mat Was a Mistake."

3/13/26

18 3 0 0
1 day ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff scares birds in the park by playing a tuba. A couple sits on a park bench. The man says "Fake news." New Yorker Panel:
A man watches video of a sunny day on his tv while snow blows outside his window. The caption reads "Most cats rely on stealth."

3/12/26

37 3 0 1
1 day ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff is setting off explosives in the front lawn. Shrapnel flies in every direction. A man and his dog watch from inside. The man says "I thought I'd walk to work because the weather is nice, and because I abandoned my car at the gas station when I saw the prices." New Yorker Panel:
A woman walks through a park talking on a phone. She says "I'm tired of replacing lawn gnomes."

3/11/26

19 1 0 0
4 days ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff tosses a pug toward a dog catcher's net. It looks like he has overshot. The dog catcher stands there and says to Grandpa Nutmeg. "I searched 'funny cat videos,' but things are so bad that they're all making serious ones." New Yorker Panel:
A man and woman sit on a couch. The woman is showing the man a cat on her tablet. She says "He's got a high pug percentage."

3/9/26

33 2 0 0
6 days ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Donald Duck is standing in the birdbath outside. Iggy and Heathcliff watch from the window. Iggy says "Talk about the ballroom- everyone loves that!" New Yorker Panel:
Lumière is meeting Trump. Lumière says "Another birdbath celebrity sighting."

3/6/26

22 3 1 2
1 week ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Cats go marching down the street carrying signs and balloons that say 'DUDE'. Some are wearing either dude shirts or helmets. Two birds watch from a tree. One of them says “With these strikes, the President sends a powerful message to the world. We’ll let you know when we figure out what it is.” New Yorker Panel:
Government officials are on stage. The speaker at the lectern says "The bro rally was bigger."

3/4/26

55 10 1 1
1 week ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff stands outside of the robot wig shop. Two robots wearing wigs walk across the street. The owner of the robot wig store says "I can't tell if I'm crying from the news or from the wind chill." New Yorker Panel:
A woman walking down the sidewalk with tears streaming down her face tells another person "Follow your passion."

3/2/26

26 1 0 0
1 week ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff and Grandma Nutmeg are downtown. Heathcliff is carrying a large balloon that says 'cat.' Grandma Nutmeg looks at him and says "I miss when six was afraid of seven." New Yorker Panel:
Two kids are six-sevening in a school hallway. Two teachers watch. One teacher leans over to the other who is holding coffee and says "Must you take that everywhere?"

2/27/26

24 3 0 0
2 weeks ago
Heathcliff Panel:
The Amazing Randy pulls Kevin the rabbit out of a hat, Kevin then pulls Heathcliff wearing a presto helmet out of a smaller hat. The Amazing Randy asks "What did he do in the night?" New Yorker Panel:
A couple lies in bed, both looking at their phones. One of them says, "You always have to upstage me."

2/25/26

20 2 0 0
2 weeks ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff and a giant robot walk in front of the meat store. Meat is written on Heathcliff's helmet, a flag, and the robot's chest. Two butchers stand outside. One of them says “If you don’t help dig out the car, then I can’t take you to school, and if you don’t go to school I’m going to lose my friggin’ mind. You don’t want Mommy to lose her friggin’ mind, do you?” New Yorker Panel:
A person is digging a car out of the snow. A kid has set down their shovel and is sitting in the snow. The other person turns to the kid and says "This should improve sales."

2/24/26

21 0 0 0
2 weeks ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff perches on top of a cat tree as tall as the house. Grandma Nutmeg looks at it and says to her neighbor "They're also my staying-indoors-all-winter clothes." New Yorker Panel:
A person is pulling a box marked 'summer clothes' from a closet. They say to another person "I've always wanted a maple tree."

2/23/26

13 1 0 0
2 weeks ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff stands on a man's lap hypnotizing him. Grandpa Nutmeg sits nearby and says "For my next trick, I will form an unbreakable political opinion- from nothing at all!" New Yorker Panel:
A magician flourishes on a stage and says "Heathcliff! No hypnotizing."

2/20/26

27 3 0 0
3 weeks ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff is at the vet's office. A number of female cats look in the window at him. The vet says "Real or A.I.? New Yorker Panel:
Four panels show a cat cooking, an elephant painting, a jockey riding a horse that is skiiing, and a ball on a rope curing around The Washington Monument. The caption reads "Your rizz levels are elevated."

2/19/26

30 6 0 0
3 weeks ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff sits on a tower of garbage cans. A sanitation worker stands at the foot of the tower and shouts up at Heathcliff “Let’s try getting on one with no puffer jackets.” New Yorker Panel:
Two people stand at the ope door of a train. One of them says to the other “I said, ‘I don’t like you very much.”

2/18/26

28 8 0 0
3 weeks ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff is wearing clown makeup, a red nose, and a wig. He sits in the yard next to a sign that says 'Heathcliff Heathcliff.' A man walking his dog stops and asks Heathcliff "And when you're not curling, what do you do?" New Yorker Panel:
A person pushes curling stones around a small room. Another person comes in and says "No one should terrify their neighborhood."

2/17/26

23 4 1 0
3 weeks ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff walks down the sidewalk carrying a pink balloon that says 'DON'T EVEN'. A woman watches from a window with Grandma Nutmeg. The woman says "Mom!" New Yorker Panel:
A woman and man are talking at a bar. A cupid fires an arrow towards them and another woman dives in front of the arrow. The woman at the bar says "I need one of those."

Bonus Cartoon:

24 6 0 0
3 weeks ago
Heathcliff Panel:
A man wearing a yellow jumpsuit with a stovepipe hat and a beard like Abraham Lincoln stands in the Nutmeg's house holding a case that says "The 4-D Immersive Cold & Flu Experience" looks at 3 mice all with similar beards a hats. The man says to Grandpa Nutmeg and Heathcliff "Now playing." New Yorker Panel:
A person sits in a crowded theatre surrounded by people coughing and sneezing. A spotlight focuses on them and they say "I've got this." It is a poster for 'Pest Control' a show that has real spraying liquids and surround sound.

2/16/26

19 3 0 1
1 month ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff leaps at birds holding bread in both forepaws. Two men sit on a park bench. One of them says "I like milk chocolate and my partner likes dark chocolate, so what percentage of cacao will leave us both unsatisfied?" New Yorker Panel:
A man speaks to the clerk in a chocolate shop. He says "He's trying to make a sandwich."

2/13/26

23 3 0 0
1 month ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Two birds are perched on the edge of a bird bath. One of them notices Heathcliff lurking in a bush wearing a bib that says 'Dan." The bird says "You ever have one of those days you wish you could just redact?" New Yorker Panel:
Pam Bondi sits at a bar and says to a man next to her "Be careful, Dan."

2/12/26

28 5 1 0
1 month ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff is at a taco truck. He breathes fire after taking a bite. The taco truck guy tells another customer "Well. there go my dreams of becoming an omelette." New Yorker Panel:
A newly hatched bird sits in an eggshell and says "That's the mild."

2/11/26

28 5 0 0
1 month ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff and Iggy are leaving the Meat Museum. Iggy says to Heathcliff "Time to celebrate their monumental athletic achievements by pointing out all their minor mistakes." New Yorker Panel:
Two people are watching the Olympics on TV. One turns to the other and says "You seemed moved by the hot dog exhibit."

2/10/26

36 5 0 1
1 month ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff has written the word 'nude' in all caps on an otherwise empty canvas. Two mice watch him work, one says "Of course, the real reason that Mr. McGregor hated the Bad Bunny was that everyone liked him more." New Yorker Panel:
A farmer chases a jacket wearing bunny out of his vegetable patch. The caption reads "Now, that's art."

2/9/26

23 5 0 0
1 month ago

I should point out we have not seen Heathcliff's chest since Wednesday. In my mind the "In Heat" tattoo is still there.

42 1 0 0
1 month ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Iggy, Heathcliff, and Pops line up at the ice cream truck. Iggy hands the driver money and says "You're gonna line up like this and then run around giving everyone kisses." New Yorker Panel:
A football coach goes over plays with the players. He points to the chalkboard and says "Two cones and one prison tray."

2/6/26

36 4 1 0
1 month ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff watches two mice peek out of their hole from around a corner, hiding his new chest tattoo. The mice notice a bottle labeled with an image of cheese sitting on a mouse trap. One mouse says "Donald Trump decides that he also needs the Westminster Kennel Club trophy to feel whole." New Yorker Panel:
Penny the Doberman Pinscher bites Donald Trumps right arm while he holds the Westminster trophy in his left arm. The caption explains that his is because of cheese cologne.

2/5/26

33 8 0 0
1 month ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff exits a tattoo parlor with the words 'IN HEAT' written on his chest in all caps. A couple sees this and the man says to the woman “F.Y.I.—he’s not ready to laugh at the cliché of violent authoritarianism in a failing kingdom.” New Yorker Panel:
A court jester is dragged by guards. As he approaches another jester he says "He stole my tattoo."

2/4/26

49 13 1 0
1 month ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Grandma Nutmeg is cooking. Grandpa walks in and sees Heathcliff sitting in a loaf pan and says “Let’s stick with gray scale for our midwinter just-as-they-head-home-from-work palette.” New Yorker Panel:
God is putting paper squares on a cloud. God says to an angel taking notes "Heathcliff loaf, again?"

2/3/26

25 4 0 1
1 month ago
Heathcliff Panel:
A groundhog exits a hole wearing a helmet that says 'shadow' as a crowd watches. The emcee of the Groundhog Day event says to Heathcliff "I swear, if anyone tries to make small talk about the weather I'm going right back into my hole." New Yorker Panel:
A groundhog is climbing out of its hole as a person stands outside. The groundhog thinks to itself "Six more weeks of stoke."

2/2/26

24 2 1 0
1 month ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff, Iggy, and Grandpa Nutmeg sit at the table eating from feedbags strapped to their faces. Grandma Nutmeg explains this to the neighbor saying "The breakfast chef is off today, but there's a charming collection of cold cereals." New Yorker Panel:
A man sits at a table with boxes of cereal in front of him. A woman stands on the other side of the table holding a carton of milk and says "They love Feedbag Friday."

1/30/26

37 5 1 3
1 month ago
Heathcliff Panel:
Mice have built a large snow cheese wheel outside. Grandpa Nutmeg and Heathcliff watch from a window. Grandpa says "The bus is coming." New Yorker Panel:
Climbers have scaled the ice to reach a bus stop sign. The leading climber turns back and says "Have you no shame?"

Apparently I don't know what day it is anymore. Yesterday I posted 1/28/26 labeled as 1/29/26. Here's the real Thursday swap.

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