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Beautiful Women Updates

@aoife.bsky.social

great lakes secessionist | ask your therapist about me (she/her)

2,664 Followers  |  440 Following  |  15,847 Posts  |  Joined: 08.05.2023
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Posts by Beautiful Women Updates (@aoife.bsky.social)

anyone who says driving or parking in this city is too difficult is frankly just bad at driving

01.03.2026 19:54 — 👍 15    🔁 1    💬 2    📌 0

also this sounds like a joke but when you finally make it out here we need to go to Gary

01.03.2026 15:43 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

I'm so interested in your perception of Gary Indiana now

01.03.2026 15:43 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 0
i didn't say i wasn't going to make the choice anyways
well i did say "don't worry" that was misleading
you should all worry

i didn't say i wasn't going to make the choice anyways well i did say "don't worry" that was misleading you should all worry

01.03.2026 14:22 — 👍 7    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

i see the manager of my library branch on the bus all the time im going to get friendly with him and transition the daley branch into the transsexual literature branch

01.03.2026 13:28 — 👍 15    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
persona by aoife josie clements, showing 14 holds on 3 copies

persona by aoife josie clements, showing 14 holds on 3 copies

i think cpl should probably have more than 3 copies of a book with 14 holds on it

01.03.2026 13:26 — 👍 14    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

i was gonna say i love sports but i hate getting rained on and that's why i play basketball

01.03.2026 13:20 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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I think about this Tony Benn speech much more than I used to

28.02.2026 16:09 — 👍 8863    🔁 3651    💬 53    📌 106

nato flag emoji posters love to twist their brains into knots to justify the dumbest bullshit on the planet and then they act like one china is somehow an impossibly arcane policy that is completely unjustified and impossible to understand

01.03.2026 12:22 — 👍 4    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

i mean im a terrible catholic so here is probably a good shot

01.03.2026 04:50 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

sorry, i gave up bisexual women for lent

01.03.2026 04:29 — 👍 14    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 0

makes sense and tbh i had a friend tell me they were trained to whack the drowning person with the floatie to keep them outside arms length if they were coming towards them instead of grabbing the floatie thing

01.03.2026 04:03 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

this also happens semi frequently on L platforms, it's like an entire city just recreating the odessa steps scene from battleship potemkin over and over

01.03.2026 03:31 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

lifeguards don't have to jack people in the face bc they have equipment like their floatie things that they can use to help the drowning person without getting shoved under themselves

and they also have backup

01.03.2026 03:30 — 👍 5    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

obviously this isn't the case when rescuing babies but for water rescues while swimming they teach you to punch the drowning person in the face to stun them bc otherwise there is basically a 100% chance they will push you underwater and drown you once you get within arms reach

01.03.2026 03:25 — 👍 9    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 0

well the headline was wrong but "i can swim but i choose not to and mostly choose to float with a beer instead" is substantially closer to not being able to swim than it is to "can rescue a drowning person without putting themselves in grave danger"

01.03.2026 03:21 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

it's really entertaining to show people photos of me holding my cat and then photos of normal people holding my cat cause it's like oh what a cute boy OMG HE'S GARGANTUAN

01.03.2026 03:16 — 👍 12    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

i suspect he was going to be equally blasted either way

28.02.2026 17:18 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

She call me jean-paul the way my bell Mondo

28.02.2026 15:49 — 👍 1    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0

well that's extremely confusing

28.02.2026 15:37 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

not a criticism just like ok sometimes someone does something that's absolutely unhinged bc they don't know enough to realize how unhinged it really is

28.02.2026 15:36 — 👍 8    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

i swear autocorrect has gotten so much worse recently

28.02.2026 15:36 — 👍 4    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

jumping into water to save someone when you don't know how to swim is such a person who doesn't know how to swim thing to do

28.02.2026 15:35 — 👍 21    🔁 0    💬 4    📌 2

someone should do it though

28.02.2026 13:36 — 👍 13    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

you can say that someone should kill the guy who keeps murdering children but only bc our nation is so full of people who murder children that it's not even remotely specific

28.02.2026 13:36 — 👍 32    🔁 6    💬 1    📌 0

it's also a running clock game so it truly is incredible

there was a game i saw a few weeks ago that got up to 98 - 75 which was amazing bc i don't even think i could score 173 points shooting around by myself in 40 minutes

28.02.2026 07:54 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

38 minutes due to the murder rule

it's a high school sized court and my team loves to run and has a lot of great 3 point shooters (and i love to throw full court baseball passes)

28.02.2026 07:51 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

teams get so mad at us for running up the score when i start taking threes which is so funny for so many reason

28.02.2026 07:08 — 👍 5    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

the team we played was actually very good they just didn't have any players over 5'7" lol

28.02.2026 05:18 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
a game clock showing a score of 35 - 108

a game clock showing a score of 35 - 108

i kind of feel bad for the other team

28.02.2026 04:28 — 👍 18    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 1