Hated Dad.

I need to plan a 2025 actually.

Flipped his mom's in her grave like a buttery pancake. Took it to hell in the carpool lane.

I didn't even

Hate that it happened to you, should have been me instead

Oh I guess last year was good to you alone

I reached over 100 DVDs* (bluR and 4k, fuck you Trea'mone 😅)

Very serious about this physical media push.

MMF is what I like to call 2025 cuz everyone getting fucked.

🫱🏽‍🫲🏾

Hate when the gym smells like sat-in seats.

720p is steak cooked well done. Your tastes are yours, sure. But just know the table shake when you cut it.

Really appreciate the work the streaming plug does to make media accessible but turning on a 2026 blockbuster movie in 720p feels like you'd spit on my shoes if you saw me in the street.

Still wanna beat up whoever my brother says he's paying.

I felt like I was reading a poet who wanted to be a writer. He then wrote about his time in slam poetry and how much it still called to him. Something about that allowed my brain to receive his writing style with less resistant.

Between The World and Me was an interesting read. I felt guilty because honestly, I disliked most of my read of it. Right until the exact middle where he confirmed what my issue was.

See also; people too *busy* or with no interest in reading. You 40. Fuck you mean.

I've also developed a red flag around people that say the gym is their hobby, while having no other consistent hobbies. You are neither meeting, greeting, or working on that internal self.

Being in therapy, while asking them to go to therapy, and being told the gym is their therapy is like....ok cool cool cool. Talking to that lady is nothing like a Smith machine.

Few things have helped me course correct like understanding my relationship to dopamine.

💕

So as I reach my limit of talking to humans again, I recognize how thankful I am to be equipped for the experiences life allows me to travel through. I updated my 2026 goals and have an idea of the man I want to grow into during this. Aight my babies I'm back to shutting up.

Threw my best friend a successful bachelors trip. Officiated a wedding. And as of my January checkup, no longer considered pre-diabetic (technically, came in at 5.9/6 😅)

Started salsa. Bachata. Jit. Finished 4 books (The Long Walk = best book w/ absolute worst ending.) Ran a 5k. Broke 13 minute miles (11:15-30 average.) Fell *DEEPLY* in love with my friends. Competed in competitive pokemon events. Got my Au/D diagnosis. Found 3in of dick I had stored away. 2025 man.

I spent so much time focusing on building healthy habits over last year it took until December to realize how bad the year was in key areas. Grief hit hard, randomly. Learning how to welcome the feelings and navigate them wasn't something I expected to do well. But I did.

I've got one remaining hurdle to clear and then this is a chapter that can be closed. Ashe. Amen. All that.

Objectively, 25 was one of the worst years I've gone through. But all considered, so many formative things happened I feel on the better side of a bad equation. My affirmation has been "I am thankful for *now*" and it's been a great centering tool.

The grandmother I've been focused on honoring on my altar has made clear requests for Pepsi and tobacco. The day I put Pepsi out for her, she brought clarity to a situation that evening.

January had some nasty hurdles that I still had to face as included in 2025 business. It went about as bad as expected, in a better way than I imagined though. Those required shutting up, and not making my problems a shared issue.

If I hadn't spent time in therapy, I would consider 2025 a year of massive loss. I'm thankful that I've been able to reframe it as a year of release. 2025 reconfigured me.

In the practice of keeping an ancestral altar, downloads have become so much clearer. 2025 did things to me that required stillness as the year closed. They told me to shut up, so I did.

@thegatesofmel.blacksky.app happiest of birthdays to you my baby 💕