Bleak⋆Squeak

It certainly felt like I could do absolutely nothing right, which as I stated previously was such whiplash to how much they had loved my work when it was still in a portfolio. Once I was in studio and actively there it did not matter what I did, even following suggestions, I was always wrong (girl)

I loved many of them too, they've made some amazing art... sadly, not created in a great environment. I hope things are better there now, but the bar is very low in my heart for them.

for real! If I could go back in time and stop myself I'm pretty sure I would. Torn over it, since it was a valuable lesson learned (not in the way I"m sure the crew there would have liked it to be lmao) but on the other hand I wish I cuold go back to a naive belief in people being generally open

Generally I've always been proud of my professional disposition when it comes to taking/wanting crit to better my work, but having my very person on blast as every flaw about me and the whiplash of treated like a skilled artist (to suddenly treated like the exact opposite) really fucked with me!

Thank you! <3

also why I so happily did layouts/background work over my preferred position as a story/comic artist rofl they offered me a job and after my experience with Pixar I was just "ABSOLUTELY I'LL BE A LAYOUT ARTIST"

No joke, I held a pretty long-term indie job right after Pixar (What Pumpkin, working on Paradox Space, Hiveswap, some merch and some sections of the original comic) and it was the happiest I'd ever been at a job. I still think back very fondly to that time and the work I did for it.

Detail shot for the new tarot card~

#art #illustration #tarot #solivaga

Evergreen

Describe your plot in five words or less—if you dare.

Monica's Weird: Soulless Girl Lives in Magic Dystopia
www.amazon.com/Monicas-Weir...

Hilariously I still think to the quote from toy story short pitches for a rule some of us had broken unknowingly : “No girl toys. John doesn’t understand girls, and boy toys appeal to everyone”

So what few girl toys are in ToyStory are literally just there for a tiny diversity quota lmao

They didn’t want fresh voices or perspectives. Just obsessed with recycling their own favorite movies/shows growing up and only from the “every boy!” perspective.

Which is exactly why they took brenda chapman’s movie away from her and lost the plot with changes. A story about her own life.

It really really is. It’s so fucked how long it took to oust him when his creeping was a known secret all across the studios. It’s just because it finally left the studios when he was lusting after the freakin’ tinkerbell/fairy face cast from the parks. Pathetic turd of a man.

I’d go SO much more in depth if not for the godawful txt limit format. I’ve zero fear of being blacklisted so why do I care throwing their shit back out into the public. They bend the knee to bigots so who cares about them lmao

This is zero shade on my peer, btw. Afterwards he came to me shocked as I was, told me it didn’t feel right or even believable, and we had a nice chat about the clusterfuck of that pitch

What hurt was that was when I knew chasing my dream down this path was untenable. It was a rigged game.

It didn’t hurt from a point of feelings/pride over my art, but I have never once forgotten the day I had my boards ripped to shreds with my skill and “girly decisions” at the very crux of the dogpile

while my peer had his literal last minute stick figures glazed as Bold, Hilarious, Expressive

It does suck, but silver linings and all. In a way I had my dreams crushed, but in another way I became even more determined that storytelling should not be defined by the bullshit western studio environments alone. I live by that now, and it feels more authentic in every way!

Thank you, Mel. The studio's kind of a known nightmare for any non cis-male employees, esp the crap with Lasseter (and yes, anyone who even remotely looked female got warned about him when starting. I got it as well during a welcome BBQ on the Brooklyn building terrace. Hush-hush style).

Awful

There were some people there I truly loved the company of and greatly looked up to, but the rest really fit quite well into your assessment there.

I appreciate your kind words more than you can ever know! (unless, perhaps, PSYCHIC POWERS)

Much as the experience sucked, I'm glad I did not remain tethered to that place and felt reassured in what *I* wanted out of storytelling and art. It was certainly "None of what they're serving" lol

there's an episode of 30rock's last season that stuck with me where the lead character is shopping around for other studios to produce/finance her show. One of the stops is at the most "BRO! DUUUUDE! MANOSPHERE CAVE SHOTS AWWWWRIGHT!" studio imaginable. I uttered out loud "holy shit it's pixar"

haha I have no idea. kinda hope not!

this was over a decade ago now. My sensibilities as a storyteller and my taste in visual storytelling hasn't changed, tho. it was such whiplash. They loved my work when it was detached from me in a portfolio, in-studio tho it was just constant "Girl Story"

all this is to say "Absolutely none of the words in this article surprise me"

I still feel if I had looked like a cis man I never would have gotten a third of the shit I got over my "confusing" perspective as a storyteller (with such BRAIN BOGGLERS as portraying a cat instead of a dog). didn't help that this was right after Brave and Brenda Chapman had, well, happened.

and I need you to understand that when I say "too gay" it was with an "f-slur" feel to it, the complaint being because I exaggerated the hip tilt of his "cowboy swagger" gestures a little too much. VERY scary.

My existence as a "woman? But WEIRD??? GIRL? BOY-LIKE????" made every pitch a nightmare

Pixar was the single handed most misogyny I ever experienced to my face in my life, stemming from my work being "too girlish" with an insinuated, but never directly stated "and too gay", while also complaining that I was perplexing for not behaving like their perception of a normal "woman"

Describe your plot in five word or less - if you dare.

"Local 5"3 is strong."

Happy 34th anniversary to the original Sailor Moon anime!

#SailorMoon
#セーラームーン

#residentevil 9

Leon: Take this gun Grace. I have two more right here.

Casey Edwards ™M @ComposerCasey Follow ... NOTHING SPECIAL?! I think the phone call went more like "as you know Vergil is an extremely important and beloved character of this franchise. He needs a song to match." Me: **sweat nightmares and pulling my hair out for weeks** Kubilay @resonmon • May 29, 2021 @ComposerCasey Capcom: We need you to make another song for another character. It doesn't have to be anything special. Casey Edwards: Gotcha! Casey Edwards: Bury the Light

Every time I see those stupid “it’s just a silly game the song didn’t need to go that hard” memes I’m always reminded of Casey Edwards describing making Bury the Light for Devil May Cry 5