Brian Altano

People waiting in line for several hours outside of a bakery to buy a cronut or crowaffle or crancakes or whatever else Frankensteinian croissant breakfast item mutant hybrid thing they were selling.

They will sternly shake their heads for thirty seconds and then turn around to clap like seals and vote for him a fourth time. They have no spines.

You’re a pathological liar running cover for a demented pedophile 🖕🏻

When it's Pokemon Day but also you can't stop thinking about Resident Evil.

Nobody thinks about children's private parts more than this administration.

PS5 but I’m very tempted to double dip on Switch 2. Wish Capcom did more cross save stuff!

I had some initial concerns about Resident Evil Requiem but holy shit, it absolutely rules. Just a fantastic balance of action and survival horror with stunning visuals and sound design. One of my favorite games of this generation and it feels SO good to reunite with my old friend Leon S Kennedy.

Every Trump voter would say "YES!!!" to the "Would you press a button that gives you a million dollars but also kills a total stranger?" question, except in their case the button makes them lose money and hurt somebody they know personally.

Pablo this is some of your finest work and I say this as someone who owns most of your books.

A Katsuya Terada Zelda illustration. Link walks up some dark stairs

A Katsuya Terada Zelda illustration. Link looks at an ancient mural of a dream whale

A Katsuya Terada Zelda illustration. Link battles a shadow version of themselves

A Katsuya Terada Zelda illustration. Link comforts a wounded man in the sewers

The 40th anniversary of Zelda is all the excuse you need to submerge yourself in classic Katsuya Terada art.

My good friend @mitchyd.bsky.social once told me that John Fetterman reminds him of the large goons in the Arkham City game who yell “IT’S DA BAT!!” when they’re about to get beat up by Batman and I laugh about this at least once a day.

He won’t wear a ring? He put giant cartoon mustaches on his Lyft cars for like the first three years they were a company but a ring doesn’t fit his style??

As a Bay Area resident I was looking at this like "yeah, that checks out" until I got to the $39 pasta dish and maaaan, that's just straight up robbery.

Went out for drinks with the legendary @sssuda51.bsky.social and played him my upcoming album and his reaction made my whole decade.

Big thank you to @maxscoville.bsky.social for capturing this moment.

Pure joy.

This just got a big loud stupid laugh out of me just as I was getting ready for bed. Well done.

I’m in Atlanta and I’m about to play three of my best friends my brand new album for the first time. I hope to share it with the rest of you soon ❤️

You guys are fucking awesome and the ICE thugs trying to destroy that are reprehensible garbage. Stay strong and stay warm ❤️

“Why are you protesting Minneapolis, you don’t even live there” I dunno man, why are you wearing a Dallas Cowboys jersey to a sports bar in Buffalo.

Yup. Also she absolutely voted for a former celebrity game show host three times because he “was tough on the teevee”

Hey they’re usually pretty nice on the shows I’m on, at least!

My internet job has trained me to look at internet comments, for better or worse.

Rolling Stone put up a piece about celebrities speaking out against ICE and one of the top comments said “since when do we care what celebrities have to say” so I clicked on her profile and a month ago she was telling everyone how excited she was to get Snoop Dogg’s cook book.

I can already picture Schumer hearing today’s news and then slowly tilting his head up from his glasses while reading an upside down book and saying “they better knock it off out there”

Hey! Good news! We’ve got a new show called “This Thing Rules” that is basically a spiritual successor to Weird Heat and we’ve done over fifty episodes already! Just two friends talking about a thing they love every other week. I hope you dig it!

Rooting for you, Gene. Fuck cancer. You got this ❤️

Also I'm so glad we got to finally hang out in person last year and several times a week since then I've randomly laughed about you calling Dan Bongino "Dan Bongo Bongo"

California is a dystopian hellscape shithole until it’s VACATION TIME BABY!!

Why do you keep thinking about the guy who has been on TV ten hours a day for the last twelve years and never gives any of us even a single second of respite, just let it go bro

I know this is ironic coming from a bald guy but why does every billionaire have the worst fucking hair you’ve ever seen in your life.

I used to fly this airline. Once I read about the ICE partnership I vowed to never fly them again. Fuck around and find out, as they say.

I feel bad I’ve never given this show a proper shake since when it came on when I was a kid it either meant cartoons were over and it was time to go outside or the day was over and it was time to go to bed.