'i will strangle a horse' on itch.io

Elon Musk killed Twitter, and it was one of the most successful bits of class war of recent times. The rich were terrified of that the Twitter storm would come for them, so they bought it and broke it. Absolutely no one powerful gives a shit about a BlueSky storm.

Steamboat Killie

Of course, you couldn't write Great Expectations now because Miss Havisham wouldn't qualify for a PIP

Calling all office nerds 😎 the Office Mimics are now available (for free) in my Kofi! These are a set of .ico files to customize your folder/program icons with!

ko-fi.com/s/3683ca94cb

These were super fun to make, hope you have fun customizing your desktop using these!
#pixelart #mimic

Uh Oh: Those Floaters In Your Vision Starting To Display In-App Ads

brainmage - Twitch Guy Kelly. Comedian, voice actor, and general nerd. UK-based variety streamer. Cryptic crosswords during the day, and videogames at night. Like a LAN café in an old folks home. guykellyalloneword@gmai...

Today's lunchtime cryptic crossword stream starts at...4.30pm! Is that lunchtime? Well, are YOU lunchtime?

I thought not. Wiseass.

www.twitch.tv/brainmage

DOCTYPE magazine 🚀⌨️ ’80s BASIC type-in mags are back, but this time for HTML!

🎅 We’d like to give away a FREE magazine to Bluesky to say thanks for helping make this project a success
🎁 To enter, just QUOTE this with a description of your first ever computer, we’ll randomly pick a winner at the end of the week
vole.wtf/doctype/

Oh boy we baneposting

Ahahahah lol it turns out postage for Tubes is FAR more expensive than I had thought. I am a business GENIUS.

Anyway. They have been posted! Thank you to those who bought them :3

I am (finally!) heading to the post office TODAY! One print left of this batch. Who wants a ducky?

(Not, as autocorrect said, "a fucky", which is different and marginally more expensive)

Mulder saying "both claim to have been abducted by aliens"

Scully looking So So tired

That's it. That's the show.

i will strangle a horse by BRAINMAGE A comedy twine-based choose-your-own-adventure game where it's your first day on The Farm, and you have One Job

Did you know I made a game? About strangling a horse? Of COURSE you did! I never shut up about it!

But that's because it is GREAT and you will die a LOT! For my first ever game I'm very proud of it. God dammit it is FUNNY!

AND it's free to play! Cor blimey!

brainmage.itch.io/i-will-stran...

Icelandic folklore tells of the Yule Cat that terrorizes children if they don't have new socks for Christmas.

folklore does not specify whether the Yule Cat is adorable or not, tho. ❤️🐈‍⬛

Omg

A fun Christmas breakfast is Baileys poured over Ferrero Rocher. I call it Executive Coco Pops.

I was legit thinking about a tshirt..

Can confirm that the NOT PISS mug is a joy

Brief window into selling decade-old games on Steam: my sales flatlined from 2022 to 2024, but have recovered in 2025, seemingly because of being on Bluesky. The increased attention here has drawn the notice of streamers who played Sir and so on, leading to wishlists and sales. Odd business.

This game has made me paranoid about barns and also silos. Tractors - ambivalent. But give it time...

Whenever I see people saying GenAI will replace human art I just think, like, maybe you can make an AI that writes in the style of Alan Moore, but you can’t make it smoke so much weed that it begins worshipping a sock puppet and digs a magic cave under its house, so it’ll never be better than him.

Ooh, nifty, thanks!

i will strangle a horse by BRAINMAGE A comedy twine-based choose-your-own-adventure game where it's your first day on The Farm, and you have One Job

Did you know I made a game? About strangling a horse? Of COURSE you did! I never shut up about it!

But that's because it is GREAT and you will die a LOT! For my first ever game I'm very proud of it. God dammit it is FUNNY!

AND it's free to play! Cor blimey!

brainmage.itch.io/i-will-stran...

Dwight D Eisenhower but said like Sonic the Hedgehog

brainmage - Twitch Guy Kelly. Comedian, voice actor, and general nerd. UK-based variety streamer. Cryptic crosswords during the day, and videogames at night. Like a LAN café in an old folks home. guykellyalloneword@gmai...

Today's lunchtime cryptic crossword stream is ACTUALLY HAPPENING! My poor night's sleep is YOUR gain!

1pm on www.twitch.tv/brainmage

No one before Sam successfully raised a child, which is why the human species went extinct in Mesopotamia. Seriously, the best way to read this is that countless billions of humans did just fine but Sam is not as competent and self-reliant as them, and that's what AI wants us to be: dependent.

Will Arnett was on Conan and told a story about how Conan dealt with the death of his parents by accusing Jason Bateman of killing them. It’s so funny.

I bet it does. I'd much rather drink hot chocolate.

How fukken dare u get me like this

a Dutch man, even in his wildest understandings of fascism, simply can not imagine a future without little a t&a.