"smile 4 u"...
Has anyone ever been in a mattress store? The stores always look empty.

"smile 4 u"...
With all the new measles cases, do you think Disney will start a new ride called, "It's a Small Pox World"?

"smile 4 u"...
Karaoke isn't for everyone. Everyone told Sam not to sing but Samsung anyway.

My cousin has two tickets for the SUPER BOWL He paid $3,500 each ticket. He didn't realize when he bought them, it was the same day as his wedding. He is looking for someone to take his place. It's at Temple Beth Sholom in Manalapan at 3pm. Her name is Marsha. She'll be the one in the white dress.

Autocorrect can be your best friend or your worst enema. 😊

"smile 4 u"...
The only people who love snow are the people who never have to shovel snow.

"smile 4 u"...
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then hung up. I'm getting sick and tired of these cold calls.

"smile 4 u"...
When a car with a loud exhaust drove by me in my teens, that's awesome.
When a car with a loud exhaust drives by me today, that's annoying.

"smile 4 u"...
My Apple watch tells me to stand. I don’t want to stand. You stand.

"smile 4 u"...
People who eat gas station food are the bravest people I know.

"smile 4 u"...
A guy posts and ad on a dating web site: Looking for a good woman to share my life. Must be good-looking, have family values, faithful, love animals, have a boat. Send picture of the boat.

"smile 4 u"...
You don’t realize how much you need Weight Watchers until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.

"smile 4 u"...
I've watched every Rocky movie and didn’t see even a single flying squirrel.

"smile 4 u"...
Brain cells, skin cells, hair cells all die but fat cells seem to have eternal life and live forever.

"smile 4 u"...
Who else is tired of being part of a major historical event?

"smile 4 u"...
I just saw a chicken toting a Chanel bag so I’m starting to question these grocery prices.

"smile 4 u"...
Where does Punxsutawney Phil see his doctor?
At the hog-spital.

"smile 4 u"...
In case you have a "Taco Emergency" call 9-Juan-Juan.

"smile 4 u"...
My wife has everything in her purse. I needed tissues, a hammer, a hard boiled egg and a deck of Canasta cards.

"smile 4 u"...
KY Jelly. How come no one ever thought of making
KY Peanut Butter?

"smile 4 u" on a Break...
Writer’s Block is the time to step away. On a break to refresh my brain. I'll be back but in the meantime,
"Live, Love and Laugh!"
Best,
Murray

"smile 4 u"...
When was the last time you gave someone a "Noogie" or an "Indian Burn"?

"smile 4 u"...
Were those Capri Sun packages designed to teach kids how to do emergency tracheostomies?

"smile 4 u"...
A kid's punishment used to be getting sent to their room. Now the punishment is to make them go play outside.

"smile 4 u"...
I just fixed the toilet flapper myself and changed a light bulb. When do I get my own show on HGTV?

I downloaded the song today. Great song!

Was Tom Holman's bribe ($50,000) was it returned to the FBI, was it declared on his taxes? What happened to OUR money?

"smile 4 u"...
Eventually reach the age when you have reading glasses in every room.

"smile 4 u"...
I don't know why but as you get older, you will find you are using your phone’s flashlight a lot.

Someone gave me 4 tickets to Melania. They must really hate me.