Studio Vee, Miniatures Painting and Weirdness!

That's true. I DO have Mutants and Masterminds!

I love bulk. I could use all of the bulk. Both myself and my kiddo need more cards!

I did a lot of work on the riders tonight for sure, but I went back to those raptors and gave them pink feetsies.
#wadrhun #conquest #miniatures #miniaturepainting #dinosaurs

Tonight is dino rider night! Once they're done the dinos are complete, and I'm just a couple of hunting packs away from a bunch of finished Wadrhun! #wip #miniatures #miniaturepainting #conquest #wadrhun

No matter how bad this country gets, it doesn't change me or how I live my life. That's a promise I make to myself.

And if the Stormtroopers come to take me away, I tighten my bandana, grab my bat, down my HRT, and get to swinging.

I was quick to get rid of my DnD 5e stuff, only to realize I still have a handful of other books that still key off of 5e rules to function. Haha I is dum.

I had considered that! But on the other hand, yikes on trikes.

I need a tabletop RPG where my character can just bust out a deck of cards and scream "ITS TIME TO DUEL!" And proceed to heart of the cards my enemies into submission.

My Flesh and Blood box shares space with my Star Wars cards, because cross pollinating is fun!

Believe me, I thought it too. Can't wait to see how this unfolds. Haha...

(TL/DR ahead, read if you want insight into my brain and some of my issues.)

I try hard to be generally upbeat, friendly and positive. Depression and Anxiety get in the way of that. So when they want me to hide, give up and stay quiet, I take my medications, talk to my therapist and get loud.

When a whole ass 40k army falls into my lap through a twist of fate, I'll paint it and play with it. I'm too poor and wishy washy to decide on anything. Haha. I don't even care what it is. I love everything.

That was a rambling aside. Hell, this whole thing was a ramble. It's 7am and I haven't been to bed yet.

If you read all this then you might actually really care, and in that case, thank you. Really. I articulate my thoughts so much better in words than I do in person. (IRL I'm just a mess.)

And the only place I ever worked where that was mitigated was when I ran my own shop. That's never gonna happen again obviously, but for all the stressors involved, it was the best few years of my life. I supported my family, and took control of my life and trusted my boss. (Me!)

I know I am to my family, but I was also raised in a very strict traditional "Grrrr If you don't work yourself to death you're worthless" household so there's THAT level of conditioning. After an incident at my last real employer, I ended up with anxiety and PTSD

(see if you get THAT reference.) But with chronic pain taking me out of the game physically and anxiety doing the rest mentally, I lost my way and became a shut in. It sucked. Being lost is terrible. And I'm still trying to figure it out. It's why I struggle to feel useful again.

I struggle with feelings of self worth a lot. I used to be a workaholic. I pulled 12 hour work days, happily worked rough physical labor jobs. I was strong. I liked providing and challenging myself. Not because macho gal, but because feeling useful made me proud. Then my bones turned to cookies.

They're not a cure-all, and some days are hard, but I can't just stop everything and give in. I generally have a hard time with some things. I'm not a social person (in person anyway) but I try even if I feel I'm awkward. I work diligently on the things I can, and I try to be a good parent.

(TL/DR ahead, read if you want insight into my brain and some of my issues.)

I try hard to be generally upbeat, friendly and positive. Depression and Anxiety get in the way of that. So when they want me to hide, give up and stay quiet, I take my medications, talk to my therapist and get loud.

I'm full of fun stories like "my brother and I found a giant turtle once" and "I broke my skateboard fighting a crackhead."

I've lived a VERY storied life.

I've got half of a starter box I need to pick up (tomorrow most likely) and I've gotta learn to play from my FLGS. I'm really eager to learn!

Oh there's a wargame.

Waaarrrccrrroooowww

That's....not a Gundam.

Aww

As soon as I stopped working and laid down to rest, Onyx charged across the room to lay down on me. I love this cat. She's such a good girl.

That's....not a Gundam.

I think my depression is telling me that I'm kind of just generally unwanted in virtually every group or situation.

Dinosaurs. Rawr. #conquest #wadrhun #miniatures #wip #miniaturepainting #dinosaurs

I'll still be posting painting progress stuff and all that, but probably nothing personal for awhile. I'm going through some really rough personal stuff and I don't know how to deal with it all right now, so radio silence is the order of the day.