Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

... If I may?

HOTEL MANAGER: Ohh noo! Ohh noo! Someone died of a soccer ball.

TED LASSO: That's what's in my show, I'm pretty sure. Never seen jt.

(stupid sounding theme song)

The Outfit | Patreon THE Podcast About How Organized Crime Explains The World.

Preorder tickets for the Super Mario Galaxy premiere here: www.patreon.com/cw/TheOutfit... You DON"T want to miss it... that's right. Yoshi's in this one...

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie Direct Nintendo of America World Trade Center: The Towers the Mob Built | The Outfit Higher Ground Productions

I can't find the words to explain why, but the Algorithm knew these two things fit perfectly together to me:

starling (seth rogen): if you could take this survey that would be so awesome. i could get out of your hair before this guy's done jacking off.

hannibal lecter (danny mcbride): motherfucker that's miggs. me and him are boys, so you better watch yourself. i'm behind this glass cause i ate some dudes

Buongiorno, Dotter Lettore 🤌

Il silenzio degli innocenti (film)

ILLITERATE GUY ON WHEEL OF FORTUNE: (talking over contestant whose turn it is) Hey. Hey. What do those say up there. Help me out. What are the letters trying to say. Hey. Look at me.

😒

The New York Times Monday, March 9, 2026 Everyone Giving You Likes Sarcastically "Check this out," an anonymous one of your so-called friends said to another over text, linking them to your post. "Lmaoo," came the response before they both pressed the icon to "Like" it. They were, however, not laughing with you,

Uh

Video games should reward you every time you play them with a crisp $ 10 Bill

MAN KILLED BY BEES: Finally! As I step into this room that is entirely empty except for one large metal vent, I can rest easy ... knowing that I am completely safe from the number one danger to my life: bees.

I was ragdolled by a street fighting opponent through a stained glass window onto the church altar interrupting a sacramental mass with my entire extended family present. And it caused me to begin to question, my Faith.

JERRY ORBACH: (kneeling at nude body) Looks like his luck stat wasn't the only thing in "debuff".

After so many years of being kidnapped, princess peach bought a pistol for self defense but she is too afraid to pull it on bowser so she just keeps putting it in toads mouth to feel strong and she always tells him "someday I'll do it and no one can stop me"

Video games should reward you every time you play them with a crisp $ 10 Bill

using my psychic powers to read wikipedia without an internet connection and my eyes are rolled back in my head and my nose is gushing blood as I mutter 'citation needed..... citation needed.....' and jerk my head around

After so many years of being kidnapped, princess peach bought a pistol for self defense but she is too afraid to pull it on bowser so she just keeps putting it in toads mouth to feel strong and she always tells him "someday I'll do it and no one can stop me"

musician Gary Numan, born March 8, 1958, aged 68

actor Gary Oldman, born March 21, 1958, aged 67

Happy Gary Retrograde everyone!

The next two weeks are the only two weeks out of the year when Gary Numan is older than Gary Oldman

CHESTER BENNINGTON
(chorus)
I'm Elmo's 𝗗𝗔𝗗
I'm tall and 𝗥𝗘𝗗

MIKE SHINODA
(quietly)
Tall and red all the time still I can't believe the son is mine

— Babe? You're flashing green, the universal color of poison damage. What's wrong??

— Y-you fool . . . Poison is . . . (cough) . . . purple . . . I'm dying of . . . an acid elemental status condition . . *

If you don't get permanently banned off Bluesky the day it happens, how are you even living your life

my spirits are lifted just imagining this

Think about how funny it will be to read the company wide email that you should take the rest of the day off to observe "a period of national mourning" when you know the bosses only need everyone to leave because they won't be able to stop everybody on staff from doing fireball shots at their desk.

James Bond on beach aiming a speargun offscreen

Top Ten James Bond one-liners

#10 Thunderball (1965) - James Bond wastes no time delivering his trademark wit after neatly dispatching a sneaking henchman with a speargun on the beach: “Get fucked, fucker.”

It's not shaping up exactly how I expected, but it's still shaping up 🙌

any social interaction

@cowtoolsdaily.bsky.social doing video content now

Photos from on set of Avengers: Doomsday confirm they're giving Wolverine a botched butt lift where his ass is bruised but crazy juicy. No they're not though. I just need constant attention.

An orange five gallon Home Depot bucket is one of the most sacred things you can give birth into.
- Ted Decker, CEO of "Home Depot"