mythbusters

we found a dick on him like 5 years into feeding him

<post about loose pugs wandering around in a storm>

Fuck brain activity never did right by me anyway

goarmy.com unless you are a jaundice risk (thanks Bill)

Vanicream is the thinking man’s cream

Toasted coconut sheet cake review

perpetually retarding 💅

Two pretzels black out the sun just as well as Vantablack

Like this post to vote for opening a sardine touch-tank using our mercenary funds

My brother is going to gas on my baby Henry

wut?

You don’t need Italian zinc it’s just what I have

Ya girl clap dem hampters

semaglutide took my appetite but it will never take my bariatric commode

My pet chewing on balls of sewage (found)

"lmao," "dead," "screaming"

I am bringing police man energy to this new year 👍

I’ll have the poached pears in red wine plus a squatty potty or footstool to change my defecation angle

Save your pepper spray, kick the pug

Loose sheets make me dry heave

The Holidays is a time to be thankful my anus doesn’t have tastebuds tonight

The dirtier the floors the better the meat tastes.

Find your nearest mean person and spray the soup at them

Grape nuts and emptiness

The wind turbine is simply a big white reminder that the atmosphere has hobbies

inflammation? injury? insect sting?

pistol squats?

Whether you’ve developed a Pavlovian association strong enough that your gut now anticipates James Taylor or not, it’s none of my business.

A slide, Pubes, razor blades -- we’re in business

My son, you will be the first bastard researcher to bring systems thinking to the anal gland space. Your name will echo through the halls of colorectal research for generations.

Get to fartin or get to bloatin

Flotation is not a crime
- Sir or Madam