Mike Landers

A line I forgot to do in the vlog

“The Board will do anything to avoid doing anything.”

We're going to be doing 80s tech in todays world on @b3ta.com this week

I’m not complaining by the way, just pointing out the obvious in that negativity sells.

Not a surprise but a proof. Two vlogs ago (post-Sunderland) I did the one again calling for Parker to go and it was very popular, especially with the hate watchers and those who refuse to admit the problem.

Two more positive ones demonstrating the issue and got about half the views.

So 100k+ people potentially seeking asylum from Dubai. These sound like people with very demanding lifestyles who may not be able to assimilate into our simple make do and mend culture. Plus they’re not used to paying tax.

*clears throat*

Any other leader would be 15 points ahead.

The Occasional Spurs: The Likelihood of Going Down is Considerably Greater Than 1 in 20 It's not that I'm some sort of Tottenham soothsayer, it's more that this outcome has been telegraphed since the end of last season.

This morning on UD, time to let rip on the absolute shambles that Spurs have been for a longer amount of time than they ever needed to be.

unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-occasi...

Dubai Chocolate Rationing Declared Not as good as a Twix

open.substack.com/pub/npettigr...

This IPSO adjudication against the Telegraph is quite something

Confirms their story titled: ‘We earn £345k, but soaring private school fees mean we can’t go on five holidays’ was completely fabricated, with the family involved non-existent and stock pictures used

www.ipso.co.uk/rulings/0210...

WAIT THEY CAN FUCKING DRIVE NOW

i don't think people should be too judgemental about this statement until they've spent some time living in wigan.

Story time, y'all, about the time I witnessed nearly this exact scenario play out in real time.

It's 2003 or 2004. Serena, Venus, Anna Kournikova, and Brenda Shultz-McCarthy played an indoor exhibition event at Rupp Arena.

Both Williams sisters had won majors at this point. 🧵/x

I tell you what though. I reckon you could do this properly, even as a series, in a modern way and you could get a classic.

The actual story idea is quite brilliant. And even this version gets the idea of the Keep from a visual standpoint absolutely spot on.

Is there a good film in here? We’ll never know. There was probably an incredibly tense study in pressure causing madness crossed with a serial killer film.

But no, it’s too much of a mess. In fact in modern days it might never have been released. It’s just not fit for purpose.

And you can tell. Entire chunks of plot are missing. Characters descend into madness in a split second. Others simply disappear or are killed completely off screen in some method unexplained.

It is a complete mess. Not a good mess. A film that came in at 210 minutes, was cut down to 120 and then hacked to 96 and that - as a certain Garth Marenghi quote said - includes plenty of slow motion.

Watching a film I haven’t seen for at least thirty years.

Michael Mann’s “The Keep”.

A film best described as “a troubled production”.

And they are using AI to do so, so it probably thought it was a bunch of armed terrorists.

all-timer sports graphic dropped

YouTube video by Out Of My Tiny Mind Moments - Burnley 3 Brentford 4

Vlog is up. So very tired of talking about VAR.

"Moments - Burnley 3 Brentford 4"

#burnleyfc

youtu.be/24081rmY0R0

*C&C Music Factory voice*

🎶Everybody
Shitpost🎶

Hmm... Elite Dangerous and er, maybe a Forza?

Images of an old silver 1999 Toyota Corolla for sale

You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla. Let's talk about features. Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn. Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End. You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up. This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children. Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes

Consent to sex: yes Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would. Interesting facts: This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey. In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-

When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla, It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla. Google map of cars location

Never forget: 8 years ago a random person on Craigslist wrote the most effective ad for the Toyota Corolla, ever.

I tried to do a replay on Xbox (I never play online) and found GTA V to be a horrible experience. The game itself is excellent, it's just it is a bunch of awful people doing horrible dumb things to each other. It's pretty childish stuff and I wasn't enjoying it.

And it is you making the choices and not a character following a preset script.

Anyway, might be bollocks but I'm genuinely delighted that you enjoyed following along.

Of course this may fall apart if I look at the less honourable endings, I don't know. But that might well be it - you play as you choose and end where you deserve.

"You're a good man. Thank you feller" - I've played with honourable intent. Again you can read that as a message to the player.

Given the ambitious people behind it, I think they were definitely aiming for "the player is not playing a character, they are playing themselves in the world we create".

Now this heads into pretentiousness territory but most of the lines are open to interpretation.

One is "Our time has pretty much passed". Not "my" or "his", but "our". And it is Arthur saying it. Who is the rest of the "our" if not the person behind the controller?