gray phantom 🩶

i hang out at the courthouse near the clerk's desk waiting for girls to drop off their name change stuff so i can secretly change it with a little whiteout and a ballpoint pen. last week a girl got her name changed to Doctor Boner. that was me

no theyre not

hi :3 hi :3 hi :3 hi :3 hi :3

slay the spire? more like budd the dwyer

help! what's the name of that browser game where you can play as a random US politican/president and do crazy weird alternate universe stuff and make decisions and whatnot. i see screenshots of it all the time but what's the name of the game

Me on a random day in 2023

if it had to be one single thing it'd be We Didn't Start This Website from YTMND. yes several things in it are YTMND-specific, but i think it captures the breadth of internet culture pretty succinctly

wdstw.ytmnd.com

i've cummed, uncummed, then cummed again

holy shit

one thing about me is i love petting a little kitty

im not gonna lie you could not have tortured that information out of me for a long time but since you've already broken that glass ceiling im ready to be loud and proud about letting michael reeves hit

krystal how do we somehow find ways to have more in common every damn day. Every Damn Day

[iron sheikh voice] FUCK THE FUCKIN ALLIED FORCES

map covered in annoying fucking rectangles. get the fuck out

seriosuly though what the fuck is this. what is all this shit. can i turn this off i don't care about whatever all this shit is. i can't see the fucking MAP in my MAP GAME

the united states(??) has taken the boot of italy

whatever is happening down there, he's not worried about it

update 3: mussolini renames one of his top infantry divisions "The Poopcock" and sends it to romania for literally no reason

update 2: mussolini got so excited by the idea of taking switzerland that he hadn't realized winston churchill was pulling his pants down in northern africa. the railway in ethopia is lost. mussolini does the only thing he can do to save face: declare war on germany

update: the year is 1942. mussolini has declined to join hitler's axis powers and instead declares war on switzerland after tasting an expired original herb ricola. hitler is fucking pissed and says fuck it and takes over bern before a single italian unit can even cross the alps

i tried hearts of iron 4 again. the year is 1941. germany is getting its freak on. mussolini has done nothing but fiddled with his dick and balls while the war has raged on. his only accomplishment is building a cool railway in ethiopia. it was widely regarded as, quote, "the dumbest shit ever"

does anybody have a dreamwidth. im thinkin about getting into blogging

bonjovi surgery. it's the surgery where you buy a womens hockey team and become a drunk piece of shit that commits credit card fraud, which he did in the critically panned 2006 comedy film National Lampoon's Pucked

bonscott surgery

a perfectly timed photo of a cat yawning but he is actually screaming

he scream

Kurt Cobain 2: Bigger, Longer, Uncut

kurt cobain 2: in theaters now

playstation RB2 drum adapter plugged into a RollLimitless adapter and subsequently plugged into an Xbox Series X for rock band 4

so i finally got a RollLimitless. and if there are any guitar hero/rock band gamers out there who still want to know if its worth it at this point? let me just say....yes it is. yes it absolutely is this thing fucking rocks

like 1.5 hours of actively being like "fuck i have to piss"

i just took a 3 minute 26 second piss ask me anything. yes I timed it. yes that's full stream not including squeezing and wiping. yes I am one of God's own prototypes

i used to think that song was talking about the Bible but no he's just saying bubble with an Italian accent

"zheanna how do u even fuck a pussy proverbially" well well well looks like someone wasn't paying attention in 7th grade health class