You are absolutely the worst person to represent us right now.

Well, Donald Trump just designated leftists as t*rrorists. So, I guess neither you nor Hakeem should be voted for under these circumstances. Oh well. If only you had said or done something. Anyway, what are you having for lunch?

Steven Miller and Donald Trump have openly suggested that the Democratic party is to be designated as a t*rrorist organization, and neither you nor Hakeem Jeffries can be bothered to give a single solitary fuck. Resign now, or get voted out later.

Is John Barasso your pseudonym? Or is he literally the only person in the country saying positive things about you?

Nothing to say about troops occupying DC? You spineless imbecile.

Maybe we can build a levee out of your strongly worded letters and canceled AIPAC checks.

Well AIPAC paid for your lunch so..

I never suspected you to be in the Epstein files before, but now I am 100% certain that you are.

Cash your AIPAC check this month you fucking fraud?

What a coincidence! I'm doing a "Chuck Schumer is a pathetic gutless fraud" tour of my house!

Do you realize that your name has become so synonymous with pathetic, weak behavior that it is now used regularly as a negative connotation?
"Well, you could Chuck Schumer the problem and do nothing."
Or
"We don't want a Chuck Schumer representing us"

No shit, Sherlock. How many seconds on Google did it take you to uncover this bombshell.

Speaking of bombshell, how's it going with Syria today?

Too bad there isn't any pro-measles lobby money to change your mind.

I don't know, SENATOR, because is literally your fucking job to find out the answer.

As far as I'm concerned, if MAGA thinks that liberals have a fake weather machine, then good. Let them believe that.

"What is it going to take to get through to MAGA?"

True. MAGA doesn't care about their homes, their communities, their wallets, their health, or their jobs.
They certainly don't care about you and your family.
So what one thing does MAGA care about more than anything?

Their truck.

Don't worry. Not a single one of those letters will actually be sent.

You know those phones that ICE dipshits carry in order to take your picture?

I'm guessing that they are full of information that would be really unfortunate for American citizens to see.

Food for thought.

Hey ICE agents:

Have you sat down to have the 'Your dad's a traitorous n@zi piece of dogshit' talk with your family yet? Because I'll bet that's hard.

OK. Party's over. Time to get back to what truly makes America great:

Punching n@zis.

"The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy"
-Elon Musk (The person Trump hired to cut that service)

While watching fireworks tonight, I am reflecting on two things:
1. I really love America
2. Republicans can go fuck themselves.

BOYCOTT
THE HOME DEPOT®

Hey internet! Looking forward to videos of ICE agents running away from citizens with roman candles! Don't let us down!

There's literally hundreds of millions of us and only a few of them.

I've decided to join MAGA.
So let's hang out!
What do you guys do all day anyway?
Burn tires?
Have stomach punching contests?
Eat mercury?

See you all at the plywood tree fort!

What, exactly, are we celebrating on the 4th of July?

KNOW YOUR ICE AGENT

I think that it is an absolute abomination that Zohran Mamdani is running for mayor of NYC.

Because he should be running for president.