kir

if I saw you out there stoned there’s no way I would make eye contact. out of respect

I bet the guy who invented belts was completely insufferable, you know every time he saw someone in a belt he was all,
"AYY! How's that belt working out for you, huh? That's me, you know! You're welcome!"
Sad when he died but also low-key kinda nice not having to hear that bullshit anymore

this seems pretty high stakes

it took me embarrassingly long to learn this, so sharing for new drivers: whenever you pump gas, it’s important to give the nozzle a squeeze onto the ground to clear the bad old gas out of the hose before you insert it into your car’s fill hole

ur welcome

hey if ur struggling to cast a shadow u should try sunlight worked for me

would

this meeting could have been a screening of happy gilmore

you can drown in even less than an inch of water but they don’t want us to know that

will do

you all sure have some interesting posts

they should make a phone that wails whenever you pick it up just massive howls when you check it liquid thatpours out

if you can take longer breaks from your phone there’s more there when you check the next time

please …i need to read like 8 bangers before i can put my phone down and prepare food for my family

wire mother gf cloth mother bf

did anyone ever start doing their banking on x the everything app?

[updated]

save cash by not eating different meals 💰💰💰

If she’s your girl then why is she leaving crop circles at my nana’s farm?

[puts daylight saving posts back in a trunk until next year]

funny story that’s how i wound up with my first wife

It’s Monday morning — do you know where your moss is? (Moss Monday)

my daughters middle name is Alert (1st name amber). I’ve been arrested 8 times over it already my advice to other dads is don’t do these names

It’s Monday morning — do you know where your moss is? (Moss Monday)

“My homies”

run the numbers

Comedy is now legal in the strait of Hormuz

I’ll never forgive him

bsky.app/profile/kirl...

who daylight saved whom?