Some of you act like I can't curse you through the internet

are ya winning, dad? son, pack up your stuff i just lost the house

from /r/WallStreetBets:

Scientists at Purdue University analyzed over 800 minutes of Michigan J Frog animations, painstakingly mapping his movements and gesticulations, and determined with six sigma certainty that the famous frog would have been able to suck his own dick

You're an extra hour closer to death. Enjoy

GM 🖤

Let's get this Monday over with, friendos. You've got this.

This life hack from David Lynch can help.

Don't you miss rubbing my foot... back into the shape of a foot?

Happy Twin Peaks Day, friendos! 🖤

My biggest struggle in life right now is trying to keep my nasty ass cut finger actually covered by band aids

Uh oh... I may be a fool

This whole covid thing is really inconvenient

"Fuck the new me, y'all need a new y'all"

Poor D is sooore

We're all going to die in these dumbass sentient cars.

Y'all be gooning too much imho.. he said speaking to himself

We all have the right to resist any occupation

It's exceptionally difficult to know if someone is serious about you when they're in the throes of addiction but I really am starting to think there is nothing serious here.

It's usually best to not think things are getting better

Iron Mike saying "Every head must bow, every tongue must confess this is the greatest of all time" about Ali is just fucking perfection.