Kitt Walker

I've just had a really good unique idea for a sitcom: what about a mid 30 something year old whose friends are all married and having babies, but they freak out about responsibilities and have hilarious adventures miss-interpreting the dating scene and then complain about how everyone uses apps.

Did a yawn so big I've twinged a nerve or muscle or something in my neck.

Regular fucking extreme sports injury over here.

I've given Batman Arkham Knight almost 3 hours and I still think it's quite shit. I seem to be in a very small minority here, so what am I missing?

An alternate reality where every thing is exactly the same except the last scene in John Wick, when he opens the cage at the vets, instead of adopting the dog, Wick instead takes Lazlo Cravensworth as a bat from that one What We Do in the Shadows episode, as his companion!

The cool thing about being a digital hoarder is occasionally finding still valid steam keys for games that have since been delisted.

Think there is any money is selling my Project Cars 2 key? Or Beyond Eyes? Or NBA Playgrounds 1?

Drizzling honey over mac and cheese was a life changing experience for me.

I'm not a social person, but today for work, I'm having to attend an induction and it's going to be filled with people in my same job role, but who I don't know.

They're gonna want to talk to me, since we're all in this shitshow together, but I just don't have the energy.

Send prayers to me plz.

Had a similar problem when we went to Disney Paris. The guys shaped/sized clothing was always just Goofy or Mickey but never any princesses!

Gap in the market is what it is.

I genuinely love Uniqlo clothes but I get so pissed off and disappointed when I check out the new graphic teeshirts they do, because they routinely do Hello Kitty or Miffy but only ever in women's cut shirts. Which just don't fit me. (and I have tried!)

Do I look like I know what a fucking whippoorwill is?

My book is FREE ALL OF TODAY!! ❤️

Switch 2 oh. You kinda need to pronounce it closer to 'swaitch' for that pun to work though.

Lasagne sheets? Ummm ch-yeah, I sure hope it does!

It's 2025 and they still haven't figured out a way to prevent the top of a Swiss roll sticking to the wrapper, tearing a big ol strip of sponge off.

Darkest fucking timeline.

Alright 2025, you can come in, but you're on thin fucking ice so just behave yourself.

Google puts so much time effort and energy into algorithms and ai learning and yet still it sends me endless push notifications for cricket scores and south african lottery results.

Today I put out as many fires as I started. Not necessarily the same fires, but I like to imagine it being a numbers game really, so I'm taking that as a win.

Christmas Mail is absolutely awful, if that's your thing. Drew Gooden did a video about it and ever since, my daughter and I quote lines from it at least twice a week.

The exact opposite of an anti-smoking campaign. I would inject literal dog shit directly into my eye balls if it came packaged like this.

I lost my PS Vita. I've only very rarely took it out the house, so I'm fairly certain it's here, but I just cannot for the life me actually find it!

a woman in a plaid shirt is saying " oh so i 'm the problem " ALT: a woman in a plaid shirt is saying " oh so i 'm the problem "

You ever get the feeling that everyone else read a different book than you? Multiples of glowing reviews, for *this*?

A box fell over in my room while I was sleeping tonight and my caveman brain had interpreted it as a threat and it's been 2 hours and I've not been able to settle my brain back to sleep.

Not a big fan of the Christmas time, (and I know I'm not alone in feeling like that,) so you'll have to forgive me for possibly turning intona bit of a motivational quotes account for a bit during next month. Stuff like

You didn't come this far to only come this far.

I've been tasked with coming up with some idea for gifts that daughter and wife can buy me. I don't want for anything, so I google it.

Every "gift guide for guys" is just "a long sleeve shirt""an $800 bottle of whisky" or "a year of Spotify premium".

I work in bank. Continually amazed at what some folk will believe just because they think they might get a deal.

Man, I never manage to get pre-sale tickets, but I lucked out this time! Huzzah! #lanadelrey #Glasgow

1 hour until steam sale starts.

Do you remember when there were only a few TV channels and going into school the day after something amazing had been on TV and EVERYONE was talking about it? That feeling of shared interest, commonality? Unity.

I get that same feel around steam sales.

*shrug*

Idea for when you're standing face to face with I told you so.

Galavant, Big Mood, High Potential, My Lady Jane, We Are Lady Parts, Loudermilk, Obliterated, Toast of London/Hollywood, Bodies, Sprung, Death and other Details, Middleditch & Schwartz, 100 Foot Wave

I wasted my entire childhood on Green Beret on the Spectrum+3 and don't think I ever got past the 1st level.

The worst thing about having acess to all the information ever nowadays is seeing a youtube speedrun of the entire game in like 4 minutes. Turns out it wasn't a hard game, I was just shit!