@criminalerin.bsky.social
This is a police hating and human existence loving account Whenever I do satire everyone thinks its news and whenever I do news everyone thinks it's satire so good luck with these posts I guess On Mastodon: Criminalerin.jorts.horse She/they/guy
as a fully grown adult man i too get fussy and anxious when women refuse to act like mommy. that's actually very normal,
Oh....personally I would file a lawsuit against Trump twice if I was this company. Once for the tariffs. And once bringing the company in discredit, and make their shoes look like clown shoes.
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We didn't get hit so bad over the weekend so I guess fair's fair?
Meanwhile, in Chicago, drivers are confused by the concept of stopping at all, and every intersection is and endless vortex of waving the other cars through.
No no, after YOU. I insist. This is polite.
Casually saying the one thing that is explicitly a war crime not just to do but to even say you will do.
And it's only getting worse more places every month
Horrific. Georgia police charged a woman with murder after she allegedly used misoprostol. Hospital may have reported her.
@pregnancyjust.bsky.social calls it “an unprecedented murder charge for an alleged abortion, even though no law in the state of Georgia permits such a charge." bit.ly/46W2Ezb
Not sure why a country that can't figure out how to keep electricity going when it's windy out has so many nuclear weapons tho seems like powering homes and businesses without relying on basically string hanging on sticks should be a higher priority than it is but here we are
The upside of all this wind is it's blown so much of the power out that most of the traffic lights don't work so we can all just take turns and shockingly all move through town at a very reasonable pace at a safe rate of speed all together
What i imagine trying to get trans health care in Britain is like.
I stopped gambling (mostly) last year and the way the books hound you with notifications/emails to Get Back In The Game should 100% be illegal
like if Coors could text drinkers "15 days since your last beer ... sounds like you need an ice cold Coors Light" and also their phone could give them a beer
My own unit siding is staying firmly attached cuz we're at a 90° angle to the units shown in the video and the wind basically never hits us like it hits them
It's actually fine that any even remotely "affordable" American home is 130 years old with a foundation held together by equal parts of black mold and radon
it kinda drives me batshit that we *should* be building our housing like they do in guam, borderline bunker style so you can withstand the weather. but the powers that be are trying to go cheaper and cheaper and yeah lol
Broken window theory is real in that slumlord neglect causes your window to break and that broken window then flies through your neighbors' windows and their broken windows fly thru their neighbors' windows and etc etc ad nauseum
Nbd just watching & reporting on the world going to hell around me at a rate that makes chaos theorists VERY distressed
See now this should actually be given some praise, getting ahead of the possibility and raising the alarm about another war of aggression based on the president's own words
when we fight we win
probably it’s naive at this point but it feels like war crimes should mean something and be punishable!!!!!
I got to hear my red-headed mom deal with this shit as a small child
Right?!
“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night. In fact forget plans. You don't need plans. All you need are a few million followers on Twitter to get those likes up. Retween plz."
~Sun Tzu
Ah yes, one of the seminal passages from the famous Sun Tzu book "The Art of What the Fuck is This Holy Shit Here We Go Again."
Holding a seance to let Sun Tzu know our nuclear armed military larger than most entire countries in total is being run by people who think they need to end the world so Gandalf will ride down the hill with Jesus and Aslan who are also in the pocket of our enemies for him to immediately die again
It's like Sun Tzu said, what the fuck is wrong with you people are you doing this on purpose
Here's the real link if you care about reading more details about more meat in the form of human people being fed into the meat grinder
The good news is Amazon's distribution dept is reportedly pulling all its gas vans off the road "to prepare for Prime Day" and not at all bc oil prices are about to obliterate their core business model so there will be plenty of spare Sprinter vans to fill up with all those dead Marines
🚨 The Pentagon is now sending a Marine expeditionary unit — meaning thousands of marines — to the Middle East.
If you work at the Pentagon or in the armed forces, please text me on Signal: premthakker.35
Your anonymity will be protected.
I bet the Vatican has a whole underground garden full of plants we can fuck