Thought Slime

that's so interesting

is it so hard to figure out how to get me to buy shit? just put batman on it! I'll buy all your stupid slop, if you just put batman on it!! I'M EXTREMELY STUPID AMAZON, JUST PUT BATMAN ON IT

Each of these companies harvests thousands of gigs of your personal info to capture an exact profile of your spending habits, and then they're like "I noticed you bought sunglasses last year. here's more sunglasses, which I assume you buy every single day."

Whoa, holy shit, a 12 pack of toilet paper?! Amazon!! How did you find this?! How did you know that I wipe my ass?!

It's so cool and good and useful that the entire economy is based on the biggest and most monolithic companies to ever exist, constantly finding new ways of badgering you to buy more of their shit.

whoa, how did you know I had such a strong personal interest in 120v USB-C Chargers!? It's just for me! This shopping experience has been tailored to my specific needs and desires!!

Love Amazon's new feature where if you look at anything on their website, anything whatsoever, they'll notify you later that they "found something you might like" and it's the exact same thing for the exact same price.

Oh, so now because of woke it's "racist" to discriminate on the basis of race?!

Kind of maddening that this even needs to be specified, tbh

I could barely afford public school

I was born with the ability to speak confidently on subjects I know little about, and a desperate need for validation from strangers.

Men used to go to war (in Chex Quest)

Past present and future duh

Do you think if Trump gets Christmas Caroled, the Jacob Marley to his Scrooge would be Epstein?

You know, if a picture is worth a thousand words then comic books are an incredible value

I know, I was being facetious because that's simply absurd on it's face. The is no greater seat of war crimes on the face of the Earth.

So Salman hasn't done enough tyrannical war crimes? Weird take.

Here you go: *

IDGI, isn't that where tyrannical war criminals are supposed to go?

*makes a video about how people aren't responding to a subject with nuance.*
*people responding without nuance*
What the hell?

I told him it was a hilariously accurate and insulting thing to say, and he asked if I was upset. How could I be? It'd be like being upset with a doctor who diagnosed you with a terminal illness; Bad news for me to be sure, but they've simply recognized objective reality.

If you're wondering why it is insulting to be accused of looking like you liking a good tv-show, that's excellent news for you. It means you will never be accused of looking like you like Bojack Horseman.

The other day one of the little Gen-Zs in my improv class unleashed what was quite possibly the most searing indictment on my person I have ever received.

He looked at me, square in the face, and without a shred of irony or malice said "You look like the kinda guy who likes Bojack Horseman."

You can love someone you love even if you don't love yourself🏳️‍⚧️
But if you love yourself, you can love both yourself and the person you love. Your love becomes twofold.
So take care of yourself.
Your soul is beautiful.

Her view is that the GOP has too few nazis.

Don't talk to people who haven't seen Stage Fright, they're not worth your time.

But I'm on android!

Am I misremembering, or didn't it used to work this way?

I'm not a UX engineer, but I do feel like it's a no brainer that if I delete a suggestion made by autocorrect and proceed to retype with what I had typed originally, it should not autocorrect it again.

New York Times killed Weinstein and Epstein stories but just asked Ms Rachel if she was funded by Hamas.