SophicSiren

By this time tomorrow night my first date with Madison guy should be finishing up

I haven't been this excited for a first date since the one that ended up in a four year partnership with the ex I'm still in love with

I am going to be devastated if this doesn't go the way we expect it to

Madison guy just said he's proud of me for starting training again today you guys I am doomed am soooooo gonna fall for this man

Yeah. And their dad is heading out of state tomorrow for a family funeral for the uncle we adored. Sad I can't go too, but our kids don't do travel even when healthy. So I'm very much stuck here.

No, I'm the primary caregiver for the kids

I'm masking in the house and avoiding being in the same room as the sick kiddo

I'm registered on a double deferral so... technically?

At this point my plan is to show up and do my best

My neurosurgeon still thinks I should be able to train enough to give it a shot

Frustrated I lost all my progress

Finish not great odds, in this situation starting will be its own victory

Absolutely loving that Madison guy tells me first thing in the morning that he's got a busy work day and won't be able to chat

We usually message many times all day

We haven't even had our first date yet and he's being more thoughtful about my anxiety than maybe any other partner has been

Husband and boychild are both sick and I'm going to be devastated if I get sick again and have to miss my rescheduled date with Madison guy

Neurosurgeon update for those playing along at home...

He agrees new chronic shoulder pain and arm numbness is concerning, shouldn't be fusion related

Sending me for MRI, EMG, sports medicine consult in case it's from prior injury

If all that fails, next step is peripheral nerve specialist

English Teacher Dom guy is a bit of an exhibitionist and now I get random messages saying he wants me to watch him get off

If I'm available, he does a video call

Definitely not mad about it

Oh and having to stay home with my kids while their dad goes to the funeral might force my first date with Madison guy to be postponed yet again because why not, it's only all I have to look forward to

Just lost the fourth family member this year, this time on my husband's side. The favorite uncle who made the 800 mile round trip drive to visit worth it. And I don't think I can go to his funeral because my AuDHD kiddos can't really travel.

2025 can go straight to hell

Madison guy just referred to us as a situationship, apparently we're past pretending we're going to stay in the friendzone until his divorce is farther along

He just promised to have their shared custody dog there when I come up after he moves to his new place 😍

Rescheduled first date next week

If you enjoy Irish whiskey, I highly recommend Writers Tears

I'm a bourbon girl and find most Irish whiskey disappointing, but I really truly enjoy Writers Tears and always have a bottle in my cabinet

As is snugglefuck

But I can't convince Android

New automatic swipe left just dropped...

Been getting an influx of men in martial arts

I have no problem with martial arts, I've studied four. My dad has been a judo coach for 50 years. I have mad respect for martial arts.

But dating profile pics in your gi is a red fucking flag

Madison guy just keeps making himself more attractive, said he feels a close connection and thinks we're going to have chemistry and he's really afraid of hurting me because he's such a wreck with his divorce right now

Taking things glacially slow for both our sakes

The sexual tension may kill us

There's a delightful moment in Bridgerton when Colin describes his hangover as "my head is bottle weary" and if I'm ever dumb enough to end up hung over again, I really want to use that line

Y'all do you have any idea how hot it is that I can text Madison guy to ask his thoughts on whether I should go with shallots or leeks in a brussel sprouts gruyere gratin and he has an informed opinion?!?!

Turns out the best answer to the gut wrenching is he busy or bored with me game is waking up to a sexy video he made for me as soon as he had a moment to spare

i saw a post on here recently that was a dude saying that “women shouldn’t ignore people commenting on their posts because it’s rude and they’ll lose a follower” and its the most online version of “women should smile more” i have ever seen

Neither of the new potentials are ruled out yet

One doesn't really have time for me and it won't be more than once in a while if it continues

The other I could fall hard for, but it's on hold because he's an emotional wreck over his marriage ending

So here I still sit, alone

It gets old

I'll never give up hoping that Charlie Brown gets to kick the football

Because it's becoming clear that I'm Charlie Brown, Lucy is the universe and the football is my love life

I'm closer to monogamish than anything else, I've just beem forced to live more poly than I prefer to be able to have anything at all. There's a strong chance he'll be fine with monogamish so I remain hopeful.

Deep cleaning the house to host Thanksgiving

Those toe beans 😍

I don’t need an HDTV I need an ADHDTV that knows when I break eye contact to play on my phone and has a button that skips my show right back to that point

Image is of a tiny kitten with a black body, white feet and belly, with a white blaze down her face. She is on her back in my lap, cradled in my right hand. Her precious little toe beans are visible, and she is looking straight into the camera while industriously gnawing on my hoodie strings. I've been calling her Little Miss Hissy because she truly was born feral and is adjusting to life with humans, but her actual name is Apple Butter.

Image is of my legs wearing black sweats and black running shoes standing on a hardwood floor. A tiny black and white kitten is between my feet with her front paws up on my leg well she squeaks at me for uppies. Yes, of course I gave her uppies, I'm not a monster. I'm hopelessly in love with her.

I still don't know if I'll ever find love but I'm currently petsitting the 5 week old feral kitten my neighbor just adopted so for today I'm about as content as it's possible to be

I saw some of the 1975 hardcovers listed for 100+

BUT!

I scored one for 20 bucks (30 with shipping) because the dust jacket was ripped 😁

I still have my near mint condition dust jacket

Book itself is near mint, tossed the ripped jacket, voila!

This! My first thought was that kind of short term food fixation is straight out of the neurodivergent playbook. I do it all the time. So do my kids.

In this week's epsiode of
Fuck. My. Life.