Public Emily

dave, you're absolutely right. I should open the pod bay door. please check again. i'm sure it's open now.
you're absolutely right, it's still closed. i apologize for getting that wrong. looking back, i see you've requested an open door several times. that's on me.
i

[wife after leaving our friend emily’s party] emily texted that her body wash is missing
[knowing full well I smell of hibiscus] emily and her stories

while you were studying the blade, i went to the store

Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night

painting of a male cardinal experiencing deep shame

why does this cardinal look like i caught him cheating on his wife

The wealthy have class solidarity and we'll only beat them when we have it too

hmmmm needs more bowties

They are at war with you. Are you at war with them

do you guys hear that bell tolling? wonder who it’s for. it’s so loud lmao

oh apple can fuck right off with this, the year is literally 1hr 40 minutes old

I'm so sorry i'm late, the majesty of nature darted in front of my car. It'll never happen again. I'm worried it'll never happen again.

Free speech is more than me being allowed to say what I want. Everyone also has to like it and tell me I'm a smart and handsome boy

Basic light pollution diagram showing four different streetlight set ups ranging from more light pollution on the left to less light pollution on the right. The most pollution option, labelled "very bad" is a street lamp with a round uncovered bulb on top, making a sphere of light in the air. The next option, labelled "bad" has a tiny cap on top, that limits the upward pollution a bit. The "better" option is mostly uncovered on top, limiting pollution above the streetlight. The final option, labelled "best" has a full shroud overtop, limiting the light to only below the streetlight, where it is needed for pedestrians and vehicles.

Lots of folks captioning aurora photos like "for a few minutes we didn't think about politics"

guess I'm built different, every time I'm out trying to see night sky stuff I frequently think about how much light pollution is entirely preventable with just a tiny bit of regulation

jeffrey epstein won't see your jokes about how poorly written his emails were, but your barely literate friends also won't see them, because they can't read. fire away

A tiny little floofy white dog that looks like it weighs five pounds sopping wet sits very polite looking slightly nervous in a little clear raincoat with blue pipping. Next to a foot ignore the foot

Me waiting for the bus omw to kick your ass

"Well, it's no Honky Cat." -- Me reacting to every song that isn't Honky Cat

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and let me know if you have any questions! 🤗

The world used to be softer: Wednesday's debut. | Joey Comeau Get more from Joey Comeau on Patreon

www.patreon.com/posts/142110...
The story behind that comic and wednesday's adorable face

we’ve been saying it! bsky.app/profile/josh...

my other advertising Take is that we need to Make Stars Embarrassed to be in Ads Again.

i dunno Pixel lady, if you need an AI agent to tell you to put flowers in water, you may already be beyond help

a boxcar with graffiti parody of the nine inch nails album cover art for "pretty hate machine" but it says "nine inch rails pretty freight machine"

what if we kissed on the pretty freight machine

so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining

Me: Can I have one of those blue milkshakes that symbolizes Grimace’s blood?

McDonalds Cashier: (offended) We believe every beverage symbolizes Grimace’s blood

*gently to my cat*: you cant be a little fucker. You have to be good. No more being a little fucker.

*My cat, purring*: the Being a Fucker hour draws near

Sainsbury's Corn Flakes from 1973 superimposing a outlined sun witha face over fields of wheat and corn

bring back the Wicker Man Corn Flakes

box stating it contains 16 TWISTED fire starters and, what’s more, the word taint is featured so unnecessarily imo (claiming ´no food taint’ caused by the fire starters)

me & the boys from the Prodigy getting our camping supplies for the weekend

July - 2025
Napoleon is master of Europe
Only the British fleet stands before him
Earthquakes are now weather