Niko

"Get his ass” Is so unreasonably funny to me. A huge win for the English language. Today's version of "seize him" imo

just because i can survive harsh conditions doesn't mean I should have to [a pic of a Tardigrades]

When your credit score is 802, but an apartment complex messages you saying you’re approved “conditionally” due to not having any credit…okay? What?

Not something. Someone. #Frankenstein

Man, I love getting only 2-3 hours of sleep then my nose deciding to become so congested I can’t breathe, and my throat deciding breathing through my mouth is also not an option. Cool.

If you need a terrible but hilarious watch, Meth Gator is free on tubi

Needs a lot of work, but I be trying 😅

Sailor Mars shopping-cart surfing with the caption: if you see someone stealing food, no you didn't.

Hey.

elmo from sesame street is surrounded by flames ALT: elmo from sesame street is surrounded by flames

What's that? You hear it? A BLUE AVALANCHE.

get more woke NOW get more transgender NOW put neopronouns in your bio NOW!!!!!!!!

Due to the sheer amount of things he has pilfered thus far he has an entire separate sheet for his inventory.

I’m not great with art, but here’s the vaguest sketch of my current lil’guy who is becoming a fave; he’s a vulpin rogue who goes by Swift. Very much “be gay, do crime.” Hobbies include biting the faces off of enemies who piss him off, stealing things, and stripping to pretend he’s just a normal fox

without downloading anything, where are you mentally right now?

It should be illegal for a studio apartment to be more than $900/month, tbh even that is pushing it

You know shit is bad when the fucking Zodiac Killer is making sense

When I figure out how to not be stressed and anxious 24/7 it’s all gonna be over for you bitches

he's in pain because he has an allergy but likes the uncrustables to much to notice

Digital art of a grey rabbit in the middle of a jump with dark purple background. There is a text ”Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed.” from the novel Watership Down. The picture has trans flag colors (white, light blue, pink) in the details.

All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies
#art ✧ #watershipdown ✧ #transrights ✧ #rabbit

10/10, no notes

Three screenshots from OFMD S1E4 1st. Izzy Hands: It's September 1st, boss. 2nd. Edward Teach: What's that, mate? Izzy: It's September the 1st. 3rd. Ed: Dickfuck, no, it's not.

Don’t be afraid to share your writing. There are six Sharknado movies.

My five-year old dog legit just got diagnosed with what is basically doggie COPD 😔 Going to talk to the vet about her options moving forward for enrichment…because it sucks that such a young dog who loves to run and play may potentially not be able to anymore

It’s really is satisfying to see the rage in a bigot’s eyes as you gentle-parent speak at them, because they are behaving like literal children. “Aw, bud, sounds like you’re having a BIG feeling right now!! But those thoughts are inside thoughts! Catch a quiet bubble, turn those listening ears on!”

sorry if this is insane to say, but i dont think a group of reactionary cultists should set the cultural agenda for all of society

Man, I just love constantly disassociating to the point of sheer panic. It’s so fucking awesome. Love that for me. Love that it just keeps fucking happening with no clear reason or trigger

And hilarious, I did just as amazing on a paper I wrote the night before as one I spent weeks agonizing over

And any other related job just skims my resume and passes without a word