Red Delicious Apple Facts

What is a hill I’m willing to die on?

I will never dry the inside of the basket for my air fryer. I always pour out the rinse. Dry the outside and then stick it in my air fryer and turn it on for 3 minutes.

Actually, in retrospect that is a poor environmental practice.

OK, you win. I’ll stop.

Eagles. I don’t say this often, but if you could win tonight so the Bears get knocked out of #1 in the NFC North that would be great.

Whoever got this to him. Thank you. Worked like a charm.

Go Pack Go!

Disappointment Disappointed GIF ALT: Disappointment Disappointed GIF

I got home from getting a needle stuck in my ass at Roswell. Excited to watch Stranger Things S5 as my “reward” for being a big kid and taking my medicine.

It doesn’t come out until 8pm.

How can you do this to me @netflix.com ?

Having cancer is one thing, but this is a Greek fucking tragedy.

Fun fact.

The full quote is “The customer is always right in matters of taste.”

Meaning if a customer wants to spend money on something you find hideous don’t talk them out of it. Get paid.

It has never been “The customer is always right.”

Yesterday at the store I saw people hit people with their carts, scream at employees because a sale ended when it was advertised to end, and push past other people, amongst other aggressions.

Don’t blame the world for your poor planning preparing for thanksgiving.

It costs nothing to be nice.

Well today is next time. Must…fight…urge…to do…to do bits.

As a Packers fan. I wish I hadn’t given up drinking.

Managing produce during thanksgiving week is brutal. Everything hurts from constant heavy lifting to get product in carts.

Still not as bad as when my wife takes us to Disney and wants to open and close every single park.

That is where true pain lies.

Can someone send this to Matt LaFleur?

I have a fool proof plan for beating the lions.

1. If it’s working. Keep doing it.
2. If it’s not working. Stop doing it.
3. Tell Micah and Rashan that I heard Goff was calling them “no talent hacks.” Not my words.
4. Remind Jordan that it’s Toyotathon.

Saw a customer wearing an Impeach Trump pin yesterday. I’ve never wanted to high five a customer so bad.

Not a single MAGA hat for a week. It’s been lovely.

Here we go again.

Customer: Where can I get fresh corn on the cob?

Me: Well it’s November. So probably Central America I think.

Customer: That was a stupid question. Sorry. Where can I get good quality, but less fresh corn on the cob?

Me: Now we are talking. Follow me. I got you.

To my neighbor mowing his lawn yesterday.

Bud. It’s late November. The grass is dead. You can pack it in now.

Dear Packers,

Please don’t lose to the Vikings today. We’ve had a rocky relationship this year. Some loses that shouldn’t have happened (I’m looking at you special teams). Let’s start fresh by sweeping the division for the rest of the year? Doesn’t that sound nice?

Go Pack Go!

Enjoy the warmth for me. It’s already snowed here. Gotta love Western NY.

Sitting in a Neurologist’s Office living the dream. Then back to the store to sell some apples. Such is my life.

Found out I missed a tour of Fowler Farms while I was out injured. That was a bummer. Would have liked to see all the apple trees.

Other than that I’m peachy. How about you?

Note to self.

When a nurse has to give an injection with a large needle in your ass. Don’t use that as an opportunity to make jokes. Because whether they laugh or not. There is still a needle in your ass.

For those wondering she did laugh. And the needle moved. I’ll be quiet next time.

Wait. Someone gave Armie Hammer a job again? I did not see that coming after the whole allegedly wanting to be a cannibal thing.

I’m finally back to work. It warms my cold dead heart to see how many red delicious apples we’ve been shrinking out due to being forced to carry them, but few people buying them. They are donated and used in compost to grow ACTUAL food. We waste nothing.

Fuck Red Delicious Apples.

Trump is declining so fast I imagine Spirit Halloween executives have already hung a “Spirit Halloween Coming Soon” banner where his brain used to be.

a spongebob meme that says " how many times do we need to teach you this lesson old man ? " ALT: a spongebob meme that says " how many times do we need to teach you this lesson old man ? "

Green Bay Packers that was a game for the ages last night. I never doubted you.

I’m sorry. That is a lie. Even after taking a Xanax (unrelated issue) I still couldn’t watch the game. But cheered at notifications until I fell asleep.

A Rod and I are the same age, but that being said…

YouTube video by Sithani Duel of the Fates but it's Bomboclat Maulman

Now I can just watch Weird Al’s The Saga Begins, and this back to back. And never have to watch the Phantom Menace again!

Good things do happen sometimes!

youtu.be/Ne7fbb9c-BU?...

I’ve had ear worms stuck in my head for days before. But I’ve had the Kpop Demon Hunter song Golden stuck in my head since the Bad Bunny SNL sketch.

I’m beginning to contemplate drastic measures. Like flying to Orlando and riding It’s a Small World 100 times in a row.

I’m losing it, man.

What is happening in the NFL? I’m always happy to see the Eagles lose. But how are there so many upsets this year?

Did no one learn anything during Covid? I just witnessed three people not wash their hands after using the bathroom. In a Cancer Hospital no less.

We need to start shaming a lack of basic hygiene.

I’m not one that usually asks for things. But if anyone absolutely hates the Ninja Creami they bought. I’d be happy to take it off your hands for you.

Ya know. Not because I want it, but as a favor for you.

Christopher Columbus was a dick and doesn’t deserve a holiday.

This post was brought to you by insomnia and Christopher Columbus being a dick.

#IndigenousPeoplesDay

Nothing to apologize for. I haven’t been posting as much as I had been with everything going on.

That being said if some SnapDragon swag ended up coming my way for no reason whatsoever.

Well. I wouldn’t be upset about that in the least. :)

Love you guys. Keep up the good work.

See. This right here is why you are my favorite Apple. Delicious & kind. All other apples take notes.

Wife: What would you wish for if you found a Genie?

Me: First I’d need a team of lawyers, historians, political strategists, and economists to crunch some numbers.

Wife: Why can’t you just make a wish like a normal person?

Me: Sounds like something a Genie would say…