Rev. Red Delicious Apple Facts

3d printing enthusiasts. How long after getting your first printer does it take for you to stop staring at it in slack jawed awe while it makes a chip clip?

I’m on my 3rd chip clip…

“Cows on the loose disrupt NYS Thruway traffic It's unclear how the cows got on the I-90”

When I said, I missed a handful of things about the south. Cows on the highway wasn’t one of those things.

It was Mexican food and BBQ.

It’s a weird fucking day today.

Even though I prefer it colder. I always find myself setting the thermostat to 69F.

Despite the touches of grey in my beard, hair loss and wrinkles. I’m still apparently 13 years old deep down.

Canada. Some damn good hockey from you. If we were going to lose, I wanted it to be to you.

See you in 4 years.

Assuming my country still exists then.

Follow up question. Y’all need any more bald, middle aged, overweight, white guys up there?

Ok. The Big Dumb Tariffs have been struck down.

Now we boycott every company that doesn’t start to re-lower prices on new orders now that cheaper materials are available again.

Every single one.

I love my family more than the universe itself. And I fucking LOVE the universe.

But their voices constantly are setting off my “Loud Environment” alerts on my watch.

If Sony or Bose want to hook me up with a pair of noise canceling headphones. My broke ass would be eternally grateful.

Hard nope. Val Kilmer was a great actor. Was. Pay a living actor.

Fuck AI in art.

AI is good for writing cover letters and recipe management.

If it wants to try its hand to curing neuroendocrine cancer, I’m all ears.

No AI in art.

I was explaining who Kid Rock was to my 10 year old. I told him about his politics and the tpusa stuff and that he hasn’t really been relevant to music or anything else since 2005.

Then I realized. Kid Rock’s irrelevance is old enough to drink!

Mazel tov you piece of shit!

That…in my expert opinion is what one would call a “sick burn”.

I feel bad making fun of Minnesota because of ICE. But as a life long Packers fan. I really want to make fun of the Vikings for picking “9” over Super Bowl Champion Darnold this season.

Get Trump out of office so I can start making fun of Minnesota again without feeling shitty about it.

My 10 year old football fanatic son is so bored by the Super Bowl this year he asked to turn it to the Puppy Bowl.

At Helium to see Ron Funches. Can’t fucking wait.

If Jeff Bezos could afford to spend $75 million on the Melania movie & $500 million for a yacht to sail off to his $55 million wedding to give his wife a $5 million ring, please don't tell me he needed to fire one-third of the Washington Post staff.

Democracy dies in oligarchy.

Not sure if migraine because lack of sleep. Or lack of sleep because migraine. But my brain is trying to escape my skull through my eyes.

The Epstein files were never about Democrat or Republican. It was about income.

Filthy rich people doing unspeakable things to children and poor people.

Billionaires shouldn’t exist.
If they are guilty then send them to jail.

Fuck each and every one of them.

Talking mad shit online and in person, and planning to protest. If I could afford it I’d go all the way to Minnesota, but I’ll have to settle for sticking it to the man locally. Also using my other platform with waaaaaaay more followers to help spread info.

Hey Conservatives. Since clearly you will want to give up your guns for your dear leader. I’ve always wanted a Benneli M4. At a steep discount of course. You wouldn’t want to disappoint Trump now would you? I’m sure his gestapo won’t come for you. It’s not like they shoot innocent people…oh wait…

Barbie is made of higher grade plastics than knock off Ice Barbie.

Me: “Hi Spectrum. I used to work for you as a line tech. (I then relay all troubleshooting I’ve already done including power disconnects and most logical causes to save time) Can you please send a tech out?”

Spectrum: “Have you tried turning it off and on again?”

This is why no one likes you guys.

A conversation with a five year old. The punctuation is accurate to the way he said it.

Me: “Buddy when you tied the knots in this yo-yo it made it where it won’t work any more. I’m sorry but it won’t work.”

Kid: “I DIDN’T DO IT I did do it and I’m very sorry.”

No pause. Just rapid fire.

Punk band with strong punk roots hates Trump?

Green Day I’ve loved you since the 90’s. Keep poking the orange bear.

In solidarity with today's ICE OUT OF MINNESOTA blackout, MinnMax is donating $1 to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota for every share of this Bluesky post for the next hour.

You know what isn’t a good idea? Scheduling a CT scan the day after an infusion with horrible gastrointestinal side effects.

The mind is willing, but the body is stuck in the bathroom.

Obligatory #fuckcancer

Dear Germany,

Would it be cool if I asked for my ashes to be spread on the parking lot the Führerbunker is under? I want my ghost to fight Hitler’s ghost. I wanna kick his mother fucking syphilis having racist ass for eternity if you’ll let me.

I’m even dusting of mein Deutsch with online lessons.

You are interviewing Brian Daboll? Really Bills? Brian Daboll? Well. It’s a shame the Bills are looking at wasting the last of Josh Allen’s prime years. Buffalo is gonna riot if you hire that guy. I’d be a better head coach than him and I’m terrible. I have fewer losses. He’s 20/40/1 and I’m 0/0/0.

In the last few minutes I’ve heard Trump say “Jobs are up 100%” and “I love the Hell’s Angels”.

How anyone can take this moron seriously will never stop blowing my mind. That’s outside of the fact he should be celebrating his anniversary in Federal Prison right now. Ya know cause he’s a felon.

Trump sounding really “low energy” while trying to read lies off a teleprompter right now. Sounds like he’s about to fall asleep any second.

WNY make up your fucking mind. Is it a white out or blue skies? Because I saw the sun when I went out in my lunch. And now walking back in I can’t see my store from 100 feet away.

Sort it out.