Fake Muriel Bowser

I don’t see eye-to-eye with President Trump all the time, but one thing we are in lockstep on is the knowledge that if you, in word and deed, tell the people with the most power to stop you to fuck off into the sun, they will dutifully comply.

Maryland and Virginia drivers, you spoke and we listened—the DC streetcar is being taken out of service ahead of schedule! 🎉

My approach to policymaking is straightforward: Are you a working class person in need of some help? Well you can get fucked.
Do you own a business? Here are a range of options to bolster your bottom line, let us know what what works best for you.

unquestionably the 2nd best thing about running DC is that the worse things get for ordinary people, the more we bend over backwards to favor the wealthy and connected (the best thing will be the obscenely lavish sinecure I get when this is over)

The Council debate on exempting 2-4 unit buildings from TOPA is going exactly how I like it: with minimal data & public involvement and an outcome that favors corporate landlords

There’s only 1 king I acknowledge—the local business community!

If you’re a landlord having trouble evicting a tenant, please reach out—the DC Government is here for you!

Good news stories are so hard to find these days

bullshit ass ribbon isn’t even green

I KNOW they did not cut a ribbon in the District of Columbia without me

With 700,000 potential customers, DC is a great place to locate your business!

Tom Homan, who was later named President Trump's border czar, was recorded in September 2024 accepting a bag with $50,000 in cash in an undercover F.B.I. investigation, according to people familiar with the case, which was later shut down by Trump administration officials. The cash payment, which was made inside a bag from the food chain Cava, grew out of a long-running counterintelligence investigation that had not been targeting Mr. Homan, according to the people, who spoke on condition of anonymity to describe the case.

Love to see a great DC business in the news!
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/20/u...

ngl the thought of jamming that golden shovel into the earth at RFK is downright erotic

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

You see an occupying force. I see a bunch of new customers for Downtown DC’s great fast-casual dining spots.

Sick of hearing that I am missing in action when I have cut 3 ribbons this month *so far*

Sir, I promise you this won’t be necessary.

The President’s control over MPD expires today, but I give you my word that you will not be able to tell that anything has changed

Cutting ribbons wherever I can

Folks, it would be great if we could do this in DC but we kinda shot our wad to build a football stadium for a billionaire. Looks like my skeets about how great DCPS is will have to do for now.

Always Be Cutting (ribbons)

Mendo’s useful at times (stadiums, no tax hikes on the rich, etc.) but the man’s obsession with writing letters is really something else. Nobody cares, bro

I played nice with the fascists and all I got was a 2-month extension of the National Guard occupation of DC

Mayor Muriel Bowser @mayorbowser.bsky.social Our North Star is protecting Home Rule and DC's autonomy. DC residents, we are going to continue to make the right decisions-the tough decisions-and we are going to get to the other side of this.

When I say protecting Home Rule is “our North Star,” I mean exactly that: a once-useful tool that has become a quaint metaphor & has been replaced with better tools, in our case, growing the economy via tax incentives for businesses.

I want to be crystal clear about this, before anyone blows things out of proportion: yes, we have the money to give 13% raises to cops who don’t live here, and no, we don’t have the money for rapid rehousing to provide shelter for people who do.

I think most folks would agree that my political instincts are pretty solid, yet for reasons even I cannot begin to fathom I am committed to fucking this chicken in the worst way possible

Well, I had a long weekend to think about it and I’m back to complying in advance bsky.app/profile/mayo...

Our North Star is protecting Home Rule and the District's autonomy. That’s why I am no longer complying in advance but simply complying on time.

“Thank you, Mayor Bowser!”

YouTube video by DC Mayor's Office It's time to #KeepCirculatorFree

All the tumult of the past few weeks has got me feeling nostalgic for the good times