Jade

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something
🕯 lesbian will 🕯
happen to you
🕯 soon 🕯
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i think a good way to cure the female loneliness epidemic is for two women to get into a baking rivalry and then on an evening where they both try to bake something together one leans over and gets real close to the other and says there's a bit of frosting on your lips can i get that for u

I had another dream This one was about the existence of a show on HGTV named Bitch House. The host was a man who appeared to have been a werewolf college student dragged off some Florida beach during spring break, poured into a suit, and shoved in front of a camera. He wore giant sunglasses every episode. There was no explanation. Every episode was the same. He would show up and tour somebody's house while they talked it up: how much they paid for it, square footage, time to the highway, backyard, last renovated in xxxx, bedrooms, bathrooms, home office, new roof, everything. They would be touring the house the whole time, just like any normal HGTV show. Then they would gather back out in front of the house and there was a really tense moment where he would tell you if your house was a bitch house or not. It not, he would just kinda shake their hands and thank them for the tour and walk away. Otherwise, he would turn to the camera and scream "BITCH HOOOOOOOOUSE" at the top of his lung

This is approximately what it Looked Like, in 10-minute photoshop format HGTV courtesy(?) of the party rock anthem guy (plz don't sue me)

Cardiacreports2 hairy athletes big pumper is failing him

Cardiacreports2 heart attack in 1 year

Cardiacreports2 meaty guy with a rare but dangerous arrhythmia

Cardiacreports2 Ryan is 35, a workout addict, a workaholic and and really heavy drinker. As a result he has a huge and unhealthy heart, perched inside a shredded physique He’s nude, in his chair when his huge body is wrecked by a massive widowmaker heart attack. With a low and guttural grunt he grabs at his chest and slumps back, dead within 30 seconds. His partner finds him and drags him into the floor. He calls EMS and administers fast and hard chest compressions. EMS arrives and hooks his chest up to an AED and continues efforts. Ryan is mercilessly pumped for 45 minutes before time of death is called.

found a fetish tumblr that's all about reblogging images of shirtless fit men and captioning them as if the guy is currently having or will have a heart attack

❤️CONSTANT COMPANIONS (DELUXE EDITION)💚
now available for pre-order!!
physicals via @veryokvinyl.com - CD or 2LP :~)
jamiepaige.bandcamp.com/album/consta...
www.veryokvinyl.com/CC-2LP
www.veryokvinyl.com/CC-CD

A 4 panel comic Title: Beloved dragon DRAGON! First panel: A crudely drawn brown dragon. He says "I'm a fucking dragon! YESS! Second panel: The exact same dragon but slight zoomed out. you can see mountains and grass in the distance now. the dragon says "I love flying and shit! and fire bret*" an annotation below this says "*brath" and then an icon of a green gem. an annotation at the bottom of the comic says "Breath: feels really good! really good!" Third panel: Dragon and his speech bubble are even further in the distance. There's a ramp on the grass. Dragon says "and basketball. Big fan. of the Lakers? **". An annotation below this says "ask your local librarian for lebron james zines" Fourth panel: Dragon and his speech bubble are tiny now. He says "But not WNBA because they're too GAY". A large truck with spikes on the bumper and a giant rocket booster on top is flying towards him at speed. Text below the comic says "the dragon was killed but it's fine because we didn't like him". End description.

#makeaterriblecomicday2025

yuri could fix you. not sure if it will or not but you should try anyway

Illustration of Team Dark posing dynamically. Omega is shooting bullets in the pattern of the agender flag. Rouge is throwing bombs that explode into clouds resembling the transgender flag. Shadow is throwing energy around himself that is coloured to resemble the non-binary flag. In the upper centre of the image reads the text: “I will fight like I always have” Artists signature reads: “Orion! 25”

It's been tiring but we're still here, happy pride yall

#sonicthehedgehog

Dude you should come visit, the shadows on the cave wall are beautiful this time of year

Can you chill out. Hello my baby hello my darling ass

Perhaps the rat is wearing a small hat

imagine a really tiny toothbrush specially designed for a rat's big front tooth

This is one of the worst things I've ever read. It's going to get people killed

www.equalityhumanrights.com/media-centre...

the "wow cool robot" meme but it's the box art for 1000xRESIST instead. the "cool robot" person has had their quote changed to "wow!! cool tranny siscon clonefucking yuri!". the arrows of things going above their head are, in ascending order: acab, heartfelt asian diaspora narrative, generational trauma cycles, abandonment, covid metaphor, doctors are cops, free hong kong, women are goddesses, women are goddesses, marxism, theater nerds lol, cities are beautiful, mother-daughter relationships, knock knock jokes, make space for the whale, be nice to your gbf, don't drink and watch, tranny siscon clonefucking, no feeling is worth [redacted], "i hardly know her", sisterhood is everything, they/he lesbians are cool, classism is bad, colonialism bad, suffering builds character, acab (again), sphere to square, pianos are nice, bitchy women are hot, her name IS mauve

i think i figured out all the themes of 1000xRESIST

Was just going to sleep and randomly had the thought "I wonder what tomorrow will bring." And like, I probably know what tomorrow's gonna bring, but I really enjoyed the sense of wonder it brought me for a second.

stop being unsure of yourself unless you want to belong to your boss

The way Popeye is voiced sounds like he's doing a Let's Play of a Popeye game.

What I think will happen everytime I ask "can I join" Cat crying after getting tomatoes thrown at her

I UNDERSTAND WHAT I SHOULD KNOW
I NOCK AN ARROW ON MY BOW
AND FIRE ACROSS THE EVERMORE
I SHOOT TO HIT THE GRAND RESTORE

⚔️ OUT NOW 👑

Reignbreaker is now available on Steam & GOG 🔥

god slay the queen.

Project Update:
it's only a matter of time

pokemon textbox that reads "Do what with my yay?"

A watercolor and ink painting of Liza, a robot prototype in the form of a large woman, crading a monstera plant. The plant has pink, blue and white leaves and is in a red pot. The robot is looking at the viewer stoically and is standing against a black background.

A closeup of the painting ,focusing on the robot's face.

Another closeup of the painting, focusing on the monstera plant.

TRANSPLANT #myart #painting

check it out it's a full scene from my movie "Jalei Loves U"

Trapped in the casino for up to 5 days straight, I must gamble to stay alive. Time is money, after all.

Art by @angrycomics.bsky.social. Don't miss the start of the gamblethon on February 3rd, 3 hours early on Twitch.tv/deadblossomjesse

Finished 1000xRESIST

this game is very special. Go play it

thank you for having used cohost.

eggbug forever.

i'm jade

This is a fuckin' all-timer of an ending holy shit i laughed so hard