Sorrowscopes

Sorrowscopes

@sorrowscopes.bsky.social

Things are terrible (we follow our contributors)

24,292 Followers 112 Following 1,522 Posts Joined May 2023
1 year ago

*knocking on the cockpit*
can I show you my pogs

67 11 0 0
17 hours ago

Shout out to my grandfather who fought against the Nazis so I could post jokes about Kool-Aid Man's dick

377 41 10 1
8 months ago

it’s getting harder and harder to tell the difference between who’s kidding and who’s stupid

6,504 813 239 54
1 day ago

At the airport typing contemplatively on my handheld device (a blueberry pop tart)

190 51 6 0
2 days ago
Post image

kehtαkʷəsəwi #makecomics #indiecomics.

31 6 1 0
2 years ago

[sitting down next to a stranger at a minor league baseball game] that looks great. who's your hot dog guy

153 21 0 1
1 week ago
CNN: More than 1,000 civilians killed in Iran since war began, rights group reports
By Helen Regan
More than 1,000 people, including children, have been killed in Iran since the war began on Saturday, according to US-based Human Rights Activists News Agency (HRANA).
The rights group said as of Tuesday afternoon ET, at least 1,097 civilians had been killed, including 181 children.
More than 5,400 civilians, including 100 children, have been injured, HRANA reported.
The group said its report is preliminary and is veritying hundreds more reported deaths.

At least 1,097 civilians had been killed in Iran so far, including 181 children.

4,505 2,472 201 206
3 weeks ago
Post image

A panel from my piece in the new issue of MAD, life's big steps aside their correlating games of chance. Art by Cartooning King Tom Richmond @art4mad.bsky.social to whom I have to apologize for my fuzzy photo of this panel. I'm so lucky to have had Tom illustrate 2 of my MAD pieces over the years.

33 2 2 0
1 year ago
Preview
bornmiserable's Shop | Featuring custom t-shirts, prints, and more bornmiserable's Shop

ATTENTION: my new online store is now open! this will be my new go-to for all merchandise going forward. two designs are available NOW for clothing, posters, stickers, and more - check it out at the link below SHARE WITH OTHERS AND GET THE WORD OUT I HAVE SPOKEN

bornmiserable.threadless.com

699 241 53 9
3 weeks ago

like to break this one out every year

74 3 0 0
1 month ago
Video thumbnail

Ian McKellen performs “The Strangers’ Case” speech from “Sir Thomas More” on Colbert.

9,249 3,611 177 725
1 month ago

I keep thinking again, in light of the latest Epstein files dump, about how MeToo “went too far.”

10,532 2,202 101 91
1 month ago
Screenshot from CineStory says "Congratulations to our 2026 TV Contest Quarterfinalists" dated January 6, 2026 with a graphic of seven lightbulbs with one lit and the caption WELL DONE

I'm excited to share that my original pilot 𝘔𝘺 𝘉𝘰𝘺𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘋𝘳𝘢𝘨 𝘘𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘯 (𝘉𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺) is a Quarterfinalist in CineStory's 2026 TV Retreat & Fellowship Contest!

185 20 23 0
2 months ago
Cover of the The Clown King by Tom Coombe with a bloody clown face on the front.

Highly recommend this horrific collection of Godly Clowns, Prophetic Owls, Ghastly Priests, and Hungry Leviathans from a new master of the fantastique. @calmtomb.bsky.social Tom Coombe’s tales will haunt you in your asleep and while you’re awake. Just don’t drink the water!

20 3 0 1
2 months ago

CHECK OUT OUR SPECIAL NEW YEAR'S EDITION OF SORROWSCOPES! TELL YOU FRIENDS. TELL YOUR ENEMIES. TELL THE MONSTER INSIDE YOU THAT WILL NEVER BE SLAIN

244 44 1 3
2 months ago

Aries: Live, laugh, lower your expectations.

328 100 10 23
2 months ago

Taurus: You will live like a king this year. Isolated, paranoid, never sure if anyone’s affections are genuine.

560 144 12 56
2 months ago

Gemini: It’s a new year full of human interactions to avoid.

310 98 11 25
2 months ago

Cancer: New year. New you? Let’s hope so.

226 67 6 22
2 months ago

Leo: You will enjoy a brush with fame this week when you meet your cousin's new boyfriend, whose band "almost opened for Candlebox" in 1993.

162 33 0 7
2 months ago

Virgo: New year, new you. There is literally a new version of you out there hunting you down. Good luck!

249 71 8 34
2 months ago

Libra: You will finally get everything you deserve this year, which is great news for your enemies.

237 60 3 25
2 months ago

Scorpio: That pattern you've been noticing is real and it's the key to understanding everything. Of course you'll need to gather a lot more data, so it's imperative that you neglect all relationships and responsibilities. You must focus on the pattern.

295 66 5 27
2 months ago

Sagittarius: People will be much less impressed when they find out your story about beating the devil at the crossroads involves you playing Super Mario Brothers 3.

223 59 4 20
2 months ago

Capricorn: Your desire to travel may be awakened by a pack of pale wolves that surround your apartment complex. Now’s the time to finally check if that door in the laundry room connects to the old mineshaft. Hurry!!

187 40 0 14
2 months ago

Aquarius: It's time to put all the disappointments and misery of 2025 behind you and look forward to 2026, which will have lots of new disappointments and misery in store for you.

253 78 1 22
2 months ago

Pisces: Against impossible odds, this year looks even worse for you.

273 67 10 50
1 year ago
Preview
a drawing of a monster that looks like a christmas tree with a r on the bottom Alt: a drawing of a monster that looks like a christmas tree, all eyes and tentacles

The future is not written in stone, but the new SorrowScopes will give you a glimpse of the terrible possibilities.
@sorrowscopes.bsky.social

309 40 2 4