Mina Murray

Woke up at 3:06am trying to figure out why I was getting grindr notifications

Pros of the tactical pants I thrifted:
Unhemmed so they’re long enough for me
Lots of pockets for to carry knickknacks
Designated inhaler pocket
Integrated carabiner d ring
Cons of the tactical pants I thrifted:
Combining them with the long jacket I daily makes me look like a fucking school shooter

My hair is black now and and I threw a Halloween party

Saying “I need to clean my house” creates a situation where the clock moves forward 4 hours and you are learning html.
Last week the same thing happened but I ended up running Cat 6 cables under my floors.

Waiting for Shazam to pick up what song is playing before realizing I’ve just been recording my Home Screen for three minutes

@musicbrainz.org begging you to bring back the musicbrainz g string

Every day I wake up and thank god that I don’t have any musical abilities. In another life I’d have a one man black metal project.

Camera: 2009 Nintendo DSi

Men will get kicked out of medical school and start electrocuting a corpse in their garage

It has to feel so good to be a server being rebooted after terabytes of shit got copied and pasted and reorganized and installed

Car burst into flames when I was going 70 down the highway last week

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I made these

I’m going to delete my Tumblr account if I keep getting Francine Smith AI sexbot ads

I don’t know anything about Hastune Miku but I’d trust her to borrow my car

Day 63 of unemployment will have you listening to Fergie

I swear I’m the only motherfucker pronouncing “cache” correctly

Jack in the Box will see you having an absolutely rotten day and change the creamy avocado lime sauce recipe

A lot of you would not be getting cancelled if you spent your spare time digging holes in your front yard looking for worms

Holding myself with such confidence at the store that other shoppers think I work here

I will never go back to console gaming because I refuse to be tricked into buying Skyrim a 5th time.

Went to Autozone and used their point of sales computer to shop on rockauto 👍

Going on hikes regularly will have you wanting to go outside and be around people this shit is insane

Got recommended a post asking a cinephile group what movies are essential watching and someone said all the Harry Potter movies.
Not only are we cooked we are refrigerated and reheated in a microwave.

Uterus should be an opt-in experience

Emailing the weather channel and asking them to please change the weather next weekend so I can play outside

I wish a hysterectomy was just a chill and casual thing you could get

“Placing bets on my wife’s ovulation like racehorses and baby we’re losing the house”

Had a nightmare last night, and I sweat so bad that my cat Remy, who sleeps under my arm, was drenched in sweat and smelled like goats

I was reading scent lists for perfumes and I gave myself a headache imagining the smells