Brian Bilston

:-(

Events Here’s a page dedicated to forthcoming events where I’ll be out and about, reading poems, signing books and generally inflicting myself on an unsuspecting or unreceptive public: 2026 Fe…

I’ve then got a whopping 44-date tour in the autumn, reading from my new book ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’. A number of these shows are nearly sold out - so do book soon to avoid (or indeed, guarantee) disappointment.
The full list is here: brianbilston.com/events/

I’m off to read some poems tomorrow at the Words By the Water Festival in Keswick. It’s sold out but I’ll be at more festivals over the next few months where tickets are still available: Guernsey, Wrexham, Tunbridge Wells, Dorchester-on-Thames, Filey & Leek, with a couple more yet to be announced.

Ha! That’s the vibe I was searching for.

Principles of Boogie Management.

Let's Not Play Frisbee With That Poet Anymore

Splendid. See you in Darwen!

Thank you!

I’m about halfway through writing my show for this autumn: How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside. It’s based around my book of the same title, out in April.

Some shows are close to selling out: a big thanks to everyone who has bought tickets. A full list of dates is here: brianbilston.com/events/

Thanks, Katie. All poetry is best consumed alongside wine and lemon drizzle, particularly the former.

Wealthy Dubai residents race back to UAE to avoid tax bills Some risk spending too few days in the emirate and too many in the UK

Tax exiles stuck in London desperately trying to get *back* to Dubai to avoid becoming tax resident in the UK? Just great stuff. giftarticle.ft.com/giftarticle/...

Quietly, calmly and forensically, BBC just dismantled the Trump communications shitshow on Iran.

No hyperbole, just laying out an unprecedented military, diplomatic and reputational shambles.

Worth a watch.

(🎥 BBC News/BBC Verify)

Sadly true.

Smug! Love it.

Morrissey’s Fridge by @brianbilston.bsky.social
(illustrated by me)

I’m afraid so, Nigel.

Thank you.

How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside: An Alternative Guide to Writing and Enjoying Poetry An Alternative Guide to Writing and Enjoying Poetry

Given it’s World Book Day, I suppose I should mention that ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’ comes out next month: a collection of new poems, which doubles up as a guide to enjoying & writing poetry.

Signed copies available through the indie bookshops and here: uk.bookshop.org/a/295/978103...

In celebration of World Book Day, here’s a poem called ‘Book Group’.

Here’s a short poem called ‘Morrissey’s Fridge’.

This is the exact same Guy you could find 2,000 years ago as a Roman senator gleefully listing the number of Germani slain and sold into slavery, 900 years ago exulting in the sack of Jerusalem, or 100 years ago celebrating 500 yards taken on the Western Front. Timeless chickenhawk scum.

🎉 Extra Date Added!

We are delighted to announce that Brian Bilston, Twitter’s unofficial Poet Laureate, is returning to Seamus Heaney HomePlace for an extra night on Saturday 7th November 2026.

🎟 Tickets on sale now > tinyurl.com/ykjn5a2t

Today’s poem is called ‘How Much I Dislike the Daily Mail’.

Sorry about that

Thinking about this quote from Persepolis creator Marjane Satrapi again.

Just to add that my 6th Nov show at the Seamus Heaney Centre in Bellaghy has now sold out - so another one has been added for the following evening. All details here: brianbilston.com/events/

I hadn’t, but thanks for the link - I enjoyed that, it’s very silly.

“I have measured out my life in Wetherspoons”.

Thank you

There really should be