(goes to Five Guys and sees only four guys working)
Eyyy where's the fifth guy today lol
(goes to Wendy's and sees no redheads working)
Eyyy where's Wendy today lol
(goes to Jack in the Box and sees staff gathered around open casket)
May his memory always be a blessing 🖤
A gift you can give yourself while watching Survivor is to imagine Jeff Probst recording the vocals for all the incidental music in his garage.
Cannot recommend this daily Olympics recap enough. Fine fine work.
Breaking: Tragedy at the Winter Olympics
thank you elliott! and the same to you!
I just wanna lay down in the garden and look at the opening snowdrops and maybe let the crows eat me, simple goals ya know
Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly
Sometimes it's pure poetry
We’re airing a new campaign ad, starting tomorrow.
Here it is:
A video of Alex Pretti reading out the final salute of an unnamed veteran he cared for until the end of his life in the ICU, posted to Facebook by his son.
Chief among these motives was the overwhelming idea of the great whale himself.
There is going to come a time in your life when you are chatting with a guy, at a barbecue or something, a new coworker maybe, a dad at school drop off, and he tells you he used to be in ICE. You’re going to need to spit on that guy
Ok I was curious so I checked this out and basically he saves up all his daily farts in a 3-gallon Ziploc, then pops the bag over his head and ties it off like Ben Kingsley at the end of The House of Sand and Fog and huffs his farts until he passes out and is revived by his robot maid. Inspiring!
If America makes it through this, anyone who murmurs platitudes about "binding up the nation's wounds" must be drummed out of public life. They tried that after the first phase of the civil war, and it just led to where they are now. The cancer must be excised and destroyed. Nothing else will work.
If you show me proof you donated to this or any other food pantry/worthy cause in Minneapolis, GUESS WHAT?! Ima draw you a lil freakum!!! a real weird one!! i am working now so they may arrive slower but DAGNABBIT they will ARRIVE
NEWS ANCHOR: we're getting word that two dozen ICE agents are in hospital after they started kissing a beautiful woman in a skimpy outfit with platinum blond hair only for her to tragically explode because she was actually a big stack of TNT.
ICE agents are, simply put, fucking clowns. Some observations from four days on the ground in Minneapolis.
www.garbageday.email/p/we-re-all-...
"i asked chatgpt" well I asked amy klobuchar and she threw a stapler at my head
they didn’t leak it to make the shooter look innocent, but to make the victim look guilty. not guilty of a crime. guilty of having a visibly queer wife. guilty of liberalism. guilty of opposing the regime. they don’t seek to exonerate themselves, only to demonstrate who deserves to die.
My scheming vizier when I start to cough after taking a swig of wine from my goblet
im sorry i know it sucks but journalists are going to have to be willing to get fired for simply describing what they see happening with their own eyes, you look like fucking morons
You and your wife drop your 6-year-old off at school. You just moved here. You see ICE terrorizing your new neighbors. You film them, as is your legal right. Your wife complies with orders. She is then shot in the head. You still have to pick up your child later today.
This could be you.
Love this from Guillermo del Toro
Avatar 3 a mixed bag but provided us with the incredibly potent quote from Payakan that I will employ any time I lose an argument in 2026:
"You will never hear my Song again."
When you’ve taken down the Xmas decorations
*2026
Morning Bathroom Window with Pears Soap and a frost outside