Aztek

‘We’re Off To See The World!’ Shout Saluting Trump Boys Setting Sail On D.C. Reflecting Pool

‘We’re Off To See The World!’ Shout Saluting Trump Boys Setting Sail On D.C. Reflecting Pool https://theonion.com/were-off-to-see-the-world-shout-saluting-trump-boys-setting-sail-on-d-c-reflecting-pool/

when will the lesson finally get learned? #cloudflare

Happiness Downplayed For Single Friend

Happiness Downplayed For Single Friend https://theonion.com/happiness-downplayed-for-single-friend/

Onion Talks Hypothetically It Would Be Okay To Have Sex With A Robot Dog

Steam Machine

Steam powered train

Steam Machine will be powered by electricity, not steam power.

Trump Denies Writing 36-Volume Comic Titled ‘Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles’

Trump Denies Writing 36-Volume Comic Titled ‘Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles’ https://theonion.com/trump-denies-writing-36-volume-comic-titled-don-and-jeff-time-pedophiles/

What is your political affiliation? Honestly, I prefer to keep my desire to make America great again private.

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Sydney Sweeney https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-sydney-sweeney/

DNA Sequencing Reveals Hitler Was Type Of Fern BATH, ENGLAND—Saying the discovery shed new light on the infamous German dictator’s life, University of Bath researchers revealed DNA sequencing Friday showing that Adolf Hitler was a type of fern. “A...

DNA Sequencing Reveals Hitler Was Type Of Fern

Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation

Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation https://theonion.com/cool-dad-raising-daughter-on-media-that-will-put-her-en-1819572981/

y'know for being so anti-piracy, it sure is ironic that the NES used a pirated CPU

Everything Falling Apart, Reports Institute For Somehow Managing To Hold It All Together

Everything Falling Apart, Reports Institute For Somehow Managing To Hold It All Together https://theonion.com/everything-falling-apart-reports-institute-for-somehow-1819569822/

Physical Media Collector Pumped For Downfall Of Humanity

Physical Media Collector Pumped For Downfall Of Humanity https://theonion.com/physical-media-collector-pumped-for-downfall-of-humanity/

Grizzled Band-Aid Weathers Third Shower

Grizzled Band-Aid Weathers Third Shower

Lucia and Jason holding pistols in GTA 6

ESRB E for Everyone rating

Grand Theft Auto VI will not be rated E for Everyone by the ESRB.

Drug Use Down Among Uncool Kids

Drug Use Down Among Uncool Kids https://theonion.com/drug-use-down-among-uncool-kids-1819564478/

Limbless, Slippery RFK Jr.: ‘Becoming An Eel Is A Sign Of Good Health’

Limbless, Slippery RFK Jr.: ‘Becoming An Eel Is A Sign Of Good Health’ https://theonion.com/limbless-slippery-rfk-jr-becoming-an-eel-is-a-sign-of-good-health/

Talk Of Fascism Dangerous, Warns Ministry Of Compliance

Talk Of Fascism Dangerous, Warns Ministry Of Compliance

i got this when it was at like 10k
epic pull

that's really cool. however,

Visit From JD Vance Last Thing Utah Needs Right Now SALT LAKE CITY—Alarmed by numerous reports that the vice president was currently en route to the state, sources confirmed Thursday that a visit from JD Vance was the last thing Utah needed right now. ...

Visit From JD Vance Last Thing Utah Needs Right Now

Hairstyle: The Muammar Gaddafi

Artist Profile: Sombr https://theonion.com/artist-profile-sombr/

New E-Toilet To Revolutionize Online Shitting

New E-Toilet To Revolutionize Online Shitting https://theonion.com/new-e-toilet-to-revolutionize-online-shitting-1819565332/

The Onion : As mayor, what would be the most important areas to focus on first? Cuomo: Her hips, and then her thighs.

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Andrew Cuomo https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-andrew-cuomo/

Denny’s Announces Free Pancakes For Customers Who Take Fight Outside

Denny’s Announces Free Pancakes For Customers Who Take Fight Outside https://theonion.com/dennys-announces-free-pancakes-for-customers-who-take-fight-outside/

CDC Director Arrives At Office To Find Dead Deer With ‘Fired’ Carved Into It

CDC Director Arrives At Office To Find Dead Deer With ‘Fired’ Carved Into It

Search For Public Restroom An Epic Ordeal Of Alienation, Humiliation, Human Cruelty

Search For Public Restroom An Epic Ordeal Of Alienation, Humiliation, Human Cruelty https://theonion.com/search-for-public-restroom-an-epic-ordeal-of-alienation-1819566549/

black jk rowling would create a white character called graham cracker

Claim: Chicago, New York, and Los Angeles are crime-ridden cesspools. False: These cities are safe, vibrant cesspools.

Fact-Checking Trump On Crime theonion.com/fact-ch...