alex blagg

using chat gpt to help me write horny comments on tilly norwood’s instagram

just a normal tuesday where the president flies in every general from around the world to call them pussies for not being more willing to kill american protestors who say mean things about him

a quick reminder you have just over six hours left to watch and post about One Battle After Another before you will be forcibly removed from Silver Lake

I didn’t get raptured OR invited to charlie xcx’s wedding 😤

if the damn rapture happens before I get to see this new paul thomas anderson movie i’m gonna be so steamed

everything is chill and normal on the other site

sooo I just want everyone to have healthcare and not be slaves for billionaires but now half the country wants to do a civil war against me because one meme-brained MAGA guy shot another MAGA guy for like not being Nazi enough??

praying for middle school math teachers rn

does anyone know of any good amish communities that are currently accepting applicants?

I actually listened to Sam Altman on Theo Von’s podcast because I wanted to hear someone cosplaying as the dumbest guy in the world talk to someone cosplaying as the smartest guy in the world

looks like we got ourselves a real Hell Yeah situation here

It is pretty noticeable that even as mainstream opinion on Israel and Gaza finally shifts, you don’t hear the Responsible Adults apologizing for punishing all the college kids protesting the atrocities. Quite the opposite in fact!

yeah trump was probably at the big pedophile parties but maybe that’s just the price we have to pay to starve Gaza, take away Medicaid, open concentration camps and send several generations into forced retirement to bring about the billionaire dream of an uninhabitable AI slopworld

Colbert should do an entire show of Epstein Trump jokes tonight.

All questions to guests about Epstein or Trump or both. Every musical transition a song like Thank Heavens for Little Girls. Every Monologue joke. Etc.

superman was too woke because it made me think about how genocide might be bad

impossible not to hear this in Patrick Bateman's voice

these NYT Best Movies of the 21st Century lists are incredible. not since the Nextdoor app has it been so casually revealed how many absolute psychos are living among us

to all my fellow Cuomoheads — I know tonight was tough. but the energy and excitement we’ve built around this candidate and the billionaire dark money PACs behind him won’t be stopped by one primary. tomorrow is a new day and we must wake up and continue our fight to maintain the status quo!!!!!

all I think about is u

can’t imagine going through the training and discipline required to become a Marine only to terrorize the people you’re supposed to protect because a reality show host who did an insurrection told you to

we’re gonna need a bigger Luigi

Street vendor in the middle of a protest

Nothing more LA than this woman selling dirty dogs in between rubber bullets and tear gas

welcome to the revolution, waymo

what do these nazi pigs think they’re doing in LA? every one of our skate kids is the joker

congrats on her basketball prowess

it’s great that our only functional opposition party is now run by annoying social media managers who used to tweet for Doritos

sorry but I would never take any pharmaceutical called “Skyrizi”. i’d rather have psoriasis than take a drug that sounds like a junior high basketball player who fingered somebody one time

imagine being the richest and most powerful man on the planet and just getting absolutely worked, publicly, by the dumbest guy alive

yeah it’s an irma vep hat, I got it online. my whole personality is that I want to jack off in the criterion closet, follow me on letterboxd

if you like drugs you should honestly try coaching little league and watching your 10 year-old who hasn’t hit much all season mash a 2-run HR to win the game for your team