farner

someone’s on the phone crying, this shit lit as fuck

they bumpin armand hammer at the function now everyone contemplating

#thanksgivingfacts

turkey is a country it is also a delicious animal

sweet dreams are made of piss
who am I to shit and pee

im a figment of ur imagination bro

sigma

yeah it’s time alright. time for a second shower beer

god damn it

on top: a state of the art LED screen that can display any image you’d like in 4k resolution

inside: a tiny little tv with wi-fi access so your favorite Netflix show can accompany you on your eternal journey

life is pain. the only relief we get is knowing one day the cycle of endless suffering will come to a permanent end.

which is why im thrilled to announce our latest product: the Smart Coffin

I didn’t see that this is great news

what do I have to do with this

no this is referencing it

close 4th: @danglinghemmie.bsky.social

the 3 oldest men in the world are joe biden, donald trump and the guy who makes the music for Gorillaz

those are the words of a man who just slumped into a bowl of soup

the skeet that inspired a generation

benjamin franklin on a background of the constitution with an edited quote: "[bing bong...] if you can keep it."

you know ur watching a movie when the opening credits roll

Love when prepared foods have a last instruction like “Serve” or “Enjoy.“ tysm I think I’ve got it from here

bing bong

no just a big bird

we sending you to raccoon re-education camp dawg

the United States of America

security guards seemed nice tho they were joking around seemed as miserable as anyone there

first interaction with government services today and holy shit the vibes are atrocious

nope it was just a big, normal bird

double sacrifice? ur crazy pal

had a dream that a big bird put me in its mouth and flew me around in there