Joey

when I die put my body on the hot dog roller at 7-Eleven

thank god for wes borland

vyvanse is great. it shows me how much of my problems are actually just autism.

a disappointing ides of march. maybe next year

don’t you just hate it when you’ve tried absolutely nothing and the problems still persist

YouTube video by Erang Funeral For Erang

you haven't lived until you've driven through gentle snowfall while listening to dungeon synth
#erang #dungeonsynth #music

youtu.be/K00qnBmFnPs?...

Imagine: clear sewage pipes connecting every house. The children, laughing, lined up to race daddy’s turd as it speeds toward the street. Celebrating the health of your neighbors with every flush. We must advocate for policies that encourage community

customer: your darkest roast please

barista: whoever created man wasted a good asshole when they put teeth in your mouth

coffee so black spaghettification begins when you lean in for your first sip

Young Fear, by Melted Mirror from the album Past Life

I've no chill when this song starts playing. can't help but rhythmically convulse (dance). happy to have seen em before they dissolved
#yyc #music #bandcamp #goth #darkwave #synthwave #post-punk

meltedmirror.bandcamp.com/track/young-...

wish my brain worms got me into a position of power. instead, I get fiscal irresponsibility and being a slut.

Ill never change my mind that some clothes is like 1000% hotter than no clothes at all

if you ever want to pull your back in a new and interesting way, I'd definitely recommend anytime you have to wash and moisturize your feet to do so while standing and hopping on one foot. this can help increase chances of back injury significantly.
you can thank me later

when I feel overwhelmed from having had a busy few days, I like to think about vampires. often in space. with galaxy-threatening powers.
this seems to level me out nicely.

BATMAN: It appears the perpetrator robbed a fertility clinic. But who? And why?
A NEW GUY BATMAN RECENTLY MET NAMED “GUS LINGKUM”: Yes, how curious!

I love all the things people say after a sneeze. there's bless you, gesundheit, salud, egészségedre. or my personal favourite: shut the fuck up.

I don't have anything cutesy to say for vday except that I feel like being sexually objectified. that's pretty romantic, right?

oh shit, my ideal self

I hope in the new Final Destination they finally defeat the evil villain, Rube Goldberg

oh gaga, I dont know if i can abraca-do this anymore

Elmo is Lord

the answer to the question "how will I get all the vegetables I need?" is and always will be: soup

say we develop a treatment that causes immortality. let's call it elf juice. there would need to be serious sociological shifts to promote adaptation, growth, evolution, and revolution. tradition would HAVE to be met with at least skepticism before guzzling down that sweet hot elf juice

Elmo saves

Modern fantasy sucks because all the titles are shit like "Stormkin: the Thrice Banished".
It should take a page out of spaghetti westerns and have cool names like "Three arrows for the dark elf" or "If you see the barbarian... Start praying!"

If you're considering buying metal inspired apparel, you seriously need to be listening to more metal bands and just buying band merch!...
I say to myself unconvincingly

I love Bill

shows like arcane and castlevania/nocturne are showing how great modern animation is by metric of how many characters I want to fuck, be fucked by, and/or become. animation is heading in the right direction by pandering to me, specifically.

Elmo heals

do you mind shutting that overton window? it’s getting a little chilly in here