Janel Comeau 🍁

if you're rooting for the end of civilization because you think it'll involve more "running around in artfully ripped clothes with a nail bat" than "spending large parts of your life thinking about soil quality" you are in for an incredibly disappointing surprise

if the phrase "nitrogen fixing" means nothing to you, I promise you are wildly overestimating how well you'll do in a post-apocalypse

if anyone is looking for the "Canada is a communist dictatorship" crowd, they are currently busy complaining that Canada does not centrally regulate the price of gasoline

"but I don't think she wants a moat"

she wants the moat. we all want moats. get the moat.

this international women's day, get her what she REALLY wants (a large moat around her primary place of residence)

I have a little story out in HAD today, about the logistics of giving up your SaaS sales career to try your hand as a Siren in the age of noise-cancelling Bluetooth technology

www.havehashad.com/hadposts/sir...

me at 20: I’m going to stay trendy and fashionable forever, I’m never going to look outdated

me at 30: I have, at maximum, two different kinds of jeans left in me before it’s Sweatpants Forever

baby boomers heard "We Didn't Start the Fire" in 1989 and apparently went "challenge accepted"

We're at a point where there are no cheap options to retreat to and no price points that guarantee quality. Every run-down studio is $1400, every fast food meal is $17, every luxury condo has peel-n-stick tiles, every $300 pair of boots falls apart. Endless expensive mediocrity.

loving this “CEOs eat their own product” trend, somebody tell the CEO of Boeing to go next

“You can only watch” trolly meme depicting a man watching helplessly as a trolly mows over dozens of people tied to the tracks

checking the news again

Surely nothing bad has ever happened when a critical mass of the population feel that their future has been ripped out from under them and that the only thing they have to look forward to is the steady erosion of their standard of living. Surely that always turns out fine.

Being a working writer with deadlines is great but it's also unbelievably stupid. Like sorry guys I can't go out tonight, I am thirty-three years old and I have homework that I begged to do.

I think it makes sense that "Rattlin' Bog" has become a popular children's song, because "the bog down in the valley-o" is the only place they're going to be able to afford to live when they reach adulthood

also a not-insignificant part of her escape involved men in positions of relative power knowingly having sex with her in exchange for doing her favours, and then claiming they had been unfairly bewitched by an evil temptress

Posted for “girl on the run: the hunt for America’s most wanted woman”

I think the wildest part of this documentary is the cops saying over and over again “she had supernatural powers of manipulation, she had a mysterious ability to make people to do things for her” and then her actual escape strategy was “she made friends by being nice to them and they helped her”

my great-grandparents had it pretty rough, but I'm willing to bet they didn't have to find out about WWII on the toilet at 4 o'clock in the morning

"we voted for cheap steak and no new wars"

aww, sure you did, sport. now eat your liver so you'll be nice and strong when you're sent off to die for Israel

apparently when I said I wanted to see Les Misérables someday, I should have clarified that I did not mean "unfolding on the streets around me in real time"

because if there’s one thing I know about men, it’s that they crave full-time child-rearing responsibilities without even getting to have sex first

Columbia President with NEW details:

5 DHS agents entered a residency with no warrant.

They said they were police looking for a missing kid.
Security camera even captures them showing pictures of the "kid."

A campus officer asked for a warrant & their boss.

They ignored him & took the student.

As of tonight, licenses of trans people across Kansas are being invalidated en masse, enabling the overnight criminalization of an entire group of people for going about our lives. It’s often said you never know when you’re living through history, so let me assure you: that’s what’s happening now.

American politicians talking about life in Canada: Every day Canadians wake up amidst the rubble of their ruined cities. Pressed beneath the thumb of authoritarianism, they cry out for American liberation.

Canadians living life in Canada: roll up da rim 2 win :)

Temple in a City literary journal Poem My hope for you by poet, writer, illustrator, comedian and youth worker Janel Comeau. Published in Temple in a City literary journal.

‘you will leave him the first time it happens
you’ll be gone by the end of the day
not into a bed at some shelter
but moved into your very own place’
Fervent and heart aching by @verybadllama.bsky.social
templeinacity.com/poetry-by-ja...

Shout out to NYX epic ink liner, just walked 20 minutes through a blizzard and it did not budge

Selfie of the author in a toque and scarf completely encrusted with ice

I’ll just go into the office for a bit, she said. It’ll be fine as long as I leave a little early, she said. The storm won’t get really bad until this evening, she said.

the storm started about an hour ago and I already can’t see the buildings across the street!

‪if fate has smiled upon you in the form of “never having to deal with Nova Scotia Power”, this is the fun online map they provide so you can watch power blackouts roll toward you in real time ‬

night gathers, and now my watch begins

as a former Edmontonian, the giant teepee pales in comparison to our glorious Talus Balls